Difficult Ex-employer?

<p>I’m new to College Confidential forums, so let me know if I’m doing anything wrong. What you’re about to read might sound like there’s some venting, and I’m sorry if it does, but I actually want advice on what I can do in my situation.</p>

<p>If you’d like to contribute without having to read my story, here’s the SparkNotes version. I worked hard for my neighbor, got fired for (likely) tardiness while being told I was let go due to the economy, and have been given the cold shoulder ever since. This seems unfairly petty to me, as it’s already begun to interfere with my success academically and otherwise.</p>

<p>Just a note: Because this situation is sensitive and I don’t want to harm anybody involved, I’ve tried to make gender and some other details ambiguous. If something is unclear because of this, let me know and I’ll try to clear some of the confusion.</p>

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<p>In June, I was hired to work a 40-hour workweek at the small firm where the neighbor down the street is a partner. At around the same time, the neighbor offered to bring me on to the council of a non-profit he was involved in. These were decent offers, so I passed on the opportunity to visit my out-of-state family, bought some dressy clothes, and began to work. I arrived early, stayed late when I needed to, got along fine with everybody, and did my assignments correctly, but there were two Mondays in July when I slept in. I wasn’t partying or wasting my time; my alarm clocks (both of them) just didn’t wake me up. I called after waking up at 9:15 or so the first time and let my manager know what had happened. I offered to work an extra hour after I arrived, but (s)he said it was fine. It was a relief and I tried to work extra hard.</p>

<p>The next week, I had the same issue. I woke up, forgot to call, and rushed to work after getting changed, arriving at about 10:00. I apologized to my manager and my neighbor, and I got to work. At 11 or so, my manager said that one of the secretaries needed some work to do and asked if I needed any help. I let her know that if she wanted, (s)he could help with one of the items I was assigned. At about 2:30, the manager asked to see me in her/his office. S/he told me that because business had slowed, “We’ve decided to let you stop working for us early.” S/he continued by talking about the economy, and at the end of it I said it had been a pleasure working there and packed my things to leave.</p>

<p>I sent an e-mail asking my manager to confirm my termination date. S/he called the next day and explained that would be on my final paycheck. I told her/him that I had a few other questions, and s/he said to send another e-mail. I did, and the questions weren’t inappropriate or negative. I even apologized. However, I didn’t get a response. A week later, I sent a message to check whether my e-mail had gone through. I got a failure notice stating that the recipient rejected the message. The same message came up when I tried to get in touch with my neighbor.</p>

<p>In the meantime, I applied for paid and unpaid positions at the local hospital and university. Things were going well at both institutions until I submitted my CV with my neighbor’s firm listed as a past employer. After that, they either stopped returning my calls/messages or told me that they didn’t have open positions for me. It’s possible that my accomplishments just aren’t that great, but I’d racked up a decent list: straight-A grades, honors and AP courses, volunteering hours, a 1st-place extracurricular award in my state, etc.</p>

<p>This year, I was invited to apply for membership in NHS. A big part of admission is the number of hours that a person has volunteered/worked. I made a copy of the hours form, filled in the return-by date, rang my neighbor’s bell and asked his wife if he was there, and explained that I had a school form that I needed signed.</p>

<p>On a Friday (two days before the date I’d specified as the deadline), I visited my neighbor to make sure he had gotten the form. He mispronounced my name and told me, “I got the sheet, and I’m not going to sign it. You were late a couple of times, and I don’t want to say anything negative about you.” I said that I understood, and he turned around and went back inside before I could explain that I didn’t need a letter, just my responsibilities and a signature in the specified blanks.</p>

<h2>This is upsetting - I’d explained on the form that I had a deadline. That my old boss, an intelligent and driven person, waited until I asked him to tell me something so important to my application, suggests that he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt my chances in other areas. I’m also concerned about the possibility that somebody at the firm gave me a very negative review, closing doors at the hospital and university.</h2>

<p>I understand that, excluding psychosomatic explanations, I’m the one to blame for my tardiness. I had an opportunity in a field that I liked, and I more or less blew it by not being able to wake up. However, I think I’ve been treated more harshly than necessary. This is my senior year, and that was my first and only paid work experience so far. It was a very significant commitment (I had to turn down other opportunities and I took no vacations this summer) and I feel that I benefited when my co-workers talked to me, but I’m worried about whether writing that I worked at the firm would be worth the risk of being slandered if a college or NHS admissions officer calls them and asks about my work. Are there any things I can do to mitigate that risk?</p>

<p>Do you have to include this job on your NHS form? If not, I would take it off.</p>

<p>It sounds like your neighbor might have gone out on a limb by bringing you in, was embarrassed by your performance, and wants to forget the whole thing. (I don’t really blame him. There is simply no excuse for oversleeping twice. No one at your office believed the two alarm clock failure, and neither do I.) It’s unlikely that your employer gave/will give a negative assessment of your work–at most places, the rule is to only confirm dates of employment. Take this as a life lesson, drop the job from your resume–a half-summer job is not going to mean much anyway–and move on.</p>

<p>I agree that you shall take this as a very valuable lesson and move on. Glad that this does not happen in your first job after college.</p>

<p>I think you should retitle this thread “Difficult Ex-employee.”</p>

<p>I’d highly suggest taking the neighbor off your CV as a reference.</p>

<p>Leave the job off the form, don’t use the neighbor as a reference, and suck it up. You performed poorly (late THREE times, not good) and count it as a lesson learned. Better to learn now than later, right?</p>

<p>Did I miscount? I thought he was late twice (which is still 2 times too many within a short time as a new employee).</p>

<p>I agree…the neighbor is embarrassed.</p>

<p>Take it off your CV. Frankly, I’m surprised that you would want to include it and even approach your neighbor about it. It’s obvious that they let you go because they felt that you were flaky. They gave the other reason to be nice.</p>

<p>Learn from this mistake. You may be one of those really sound sleepers. I have one of those kids. He sleeps with his cell phone under his pillow (in the pillowcase) on vibrate and that wakes him up. There are also some alarms with really loud sounds.</p>

<p>(BTW…do you consume dairy products at night? For some reason, some people sleep deeper after consuming dairy…I don’t know why.)</p>

<p>I employ a lot of high school and college age kids. Being late is bad. Being late on Monday is worse. Missing work the day before or after a weeekend, a long weekend, holiday, or vacation is horrendous.</p>

<p>If a job is important to you, you’ll wake up and get there on time. You will also organize your life (i.e. your social life) so that the effects of said social life do not impace your working life. Translated, that means that being late on Monday, or worse, calling in sick is generally an indication of excessive partying on the weekend. Perhaps it’s not fair, but that is how it appears to an employer.</p>

<p>As a summer job, this is not a huge black mark on your record – however, I think you should not list it as previous employment. It didn’t last that long, and apparently ended badly.</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice, and I understand that I made mistakes. My main worry at the moment is that I won’t make it into NHS, as plenty of students with my grades and extracurriculars have been rejected, but I guess it might not be worth it to include this experiences.</p>

<p>Just to clarify, I arrived late twice. My explanation stinks and I understand that, but it’s true. Lying to the people I’m asking for help doesn’t do much for me.</p>

<p>mom2collegekids: I don’t think so. I remember having a bit of congestion that week, and I usually try to avoid dairy when I’m not feeling well.</p>

<p>You really screwed the pooch with your neighbor to the point that he can’t make nice on an NHS recommendation form? Yikes! We’re talking more than being late twice…</p>

<p>Looks like you’ll have to take it off the NHS application and go with what you’ve got. Frankly, I’m not convinced that NHS membership is a make or break issue with colleges anyway.</p>

<p>Agree, take if off the application. Agree that NHS is not a make it or break it thing. Agree that you’ve learned a valuable lesson.</p>

<p>

Ok, I’m going to give the harsh response, just because I think every kid should hear it: </p>

<p>collegekid93, it’s not all about you. The work world does not care about you, your other opportunities, your missed vacations or your ability to get into the NHS. They care about the job they hired you to do. They could have given this job to lots of other people, people who might have actually wanted the job badly enough to arrive on time every day. This is obviously not you. If you didn’t want to commit to the job, then you should have let someone else have it.</p>

<p>And the secretary that had extra time on her hands to help you? It is possible it was just that. It is also possible s/he was sent to better evaluate you, and how you feel, and how you work. It is also possible they just wanted you to wrap up projects in progress quicker because they had made up their mind about you.
Officially they told you it was the economy. Don’t press. Be content with that answer this time. If necessary you can use this reason as the reason for separation. Momma may be right(post 3) this neighbor may feel awkward now because he expected better from you.</p>

<p>Your experience won’t ruin their business. It won’t ruin your life. You and the job just didn’t line up right at this time. That happens. It’s not like your spouse and 5 kids were counting on this paycheck.</p>

<p>And in keeping with post 13, I’d add working extra hard on days you arrive late is not seen as much value to an employer.

  1. they still know you were late
  2. if you work extra hard some days that could be perceived as slacking on regular days.</p>

<p>question: how many times have you overslept and were late for school?</p>

<p>I started typing before cnp55’s post appeared, so I’m sorry if it looks as though I ignored it. Either way, I agree. I’m bummed about this because I worked hard when I did, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to list my work experience.</p>

<p>ellemenope: I messed up by waking up late, and I understand that’s probably why I was terminated. Still, I’m not sure what I did that “screwed the pooch” so badly. I was at least ten minutes early every day besides those two and I honestly did whatever needed to be done quickly and correctly.</p>

<p>blankmind: This isn’t meant to be facetious, so please don’t take it that way. Thank you for trying to teach me. My last day of work was almost three months ago and I’ve tried daily since then to rationalize what happened, so what you and younghoss are saying sounds pretty familiar and correct to me. To younghoss, I’ll add that I mean I worked quickly enough to not fall behind. I didn’t take adderall and coffee, for example, and cram several days’ worth of work into seven hours.</p>

<p>geeps20: Zero - I’m the kid who arrives early and helps set up for school, meetings, volunteering events, and just about everything else, which is why I think I’m having a harder time getting over this than I should be.</p>

<p>You sound like a good kid and a studious worker in general, so just take it as an (admittedly hard) “life lesson” and move on. Screwing up, well, really sucks (as does getting fired, I’d imagine), and I’m sympathetic to you, but sometimes you just have realize you may never get an answer or closure as much as you want it and move on.</p>

<p>Good luck to you!</p>

<p>You weren’t with this employer long enough to understand the office politics. It might be that the boss was under pressure for being wishy-washy, so he fired you to refute that idea. It might be that he had a long-standing attitude about lazy teens who can’t be bothered to show up on time. Who knows?</p>

<p>If everyone on CC had a dollar for everyone they know who got mistreated in the workplace, we could rent that bus and go on that bus trip. Add to that a dollar for everyone we know who thinks they were mistreated, when the facts were otherwise, and we could hire a private chef for the trip.</p>

<p>*but I’m worried about whether writing that I worked at the firm would be worth the risk of being slandered if a college or NHS admissions officer calls them and asks about my work. *</p>

<p>Are you worrying that a National Honor Society employee is going to call a former employer? They don’t have the time, personel, or interest in calling employers over membership in NHS.</p>

<p>Or does NHS stand for something else.</p>

<p>collegekid93, this is what I would tell my kid to do at this point: write a short letter to the neighbor apologizing for whatever it is you did wrong. Thank him for giving you the opportunity and say you are sorry for letting him down. This letter is not for you to get anything, it is for you to try to make this right with your neighbor. Do not ask for anything, just apologize. Then move on with your life. Accept the fact that you cannot use this job or this neighbor for references. This is not a huge deal in the scheme of your life as long as you learn something from it. You did learn something, right?</p>