<p>I had a nice heart-to-heart with my mom today over lunch in her office. It wasn’t as hard as I thought. She took it rather well.</p>
<p>She seemed surprised that I was feeling so trapped by her image, but she soon switched the focus over to how I was handling it. She told me she’d take care of any other “I’ll tell your mother” comments if they arise and that I shouldn’t over-think people talking about her or others in conversations. She also said I didn’t have to prove anything because I’ll shine bright on my own and all of that other corny mom jazz. </p>
<p>Most importantly, she assured me that she’s not pressuring me into being a foreign language major. If I find something else besides language B that really rocks my socks, she’ll totally support it; if her department ends up offering the major I want to pursue, she’ll fully support it. </p>
<p>She said she’d ask around to see if there are any other career/major fairs “in-the-works” that could help me explore other academic departments. She also offered to set up a meeting with the dean of her college, but I think that’s too weird.</p>
<p>So thanks for all the help. Hopefully I can assimilate better now that everything is off my chest. :)</p>
<p>One of my nieces went to college where her mother was a department chair and a famous, popular professor, and (although it wasn’t her initial plan) she wound up majoring in her mother’s department.</p>
<p>One of the first courses she took was taught by a brand new professor, and it was a semester when her mother was on leave and visiting another university on another continent. She went to the professor’s office hours, and was amused to find that the professor was using her mother’s office temporarily. </p>
<p>I’ll interject here that, unlike you apparently, my niece has a different last name from her mother, and they don’t look anything alike. Anyway, my niece goes into the office to talk to the professor, and they are talking, but after a few minutes the professor starts looking at her weirdly. Finally, the professor says, “Excuse me, but this is crazy. It looks like there are pictures of you all over my office! Are you really the person in these pictures? Who ARE you?”</p>
<p>JHS, that IS funny!! I would laugh so hard if that happened to me. Thanks for sharing! </p>
<p>I think I’ll have to show that story to my mom somehow. She would find it very amusing and, knowing her, she’d probably try and wig out someone else in her department like that :)</p>
<p>grabble, I was in EXACTLY your position when I was in college. My dad was chair of the engineering department in which I was a student. I had him for two or three classes. It was not a problem at all. Dad was an excellent, popular professor. I can tell you that I worked my tail off to make sure I earned A’s fairly from him! He did not cut me any slack.</p>
<p>I also got my MS at the same school. Dad had a research project that was perfect for me, so I worked on it, but under the supervision of another professor.</p>
<p>Then my future DH came from out of state to work on HIS master’s degree. My dad was the person who convinced him to go to UT (this was before I had met DH). My husband’s friends asked him, “What are you thinking?? A Yankee coming down to Texas, and you’re dating your supervisor’s daughter?? Do you have a death wish?”</p>
<p>Does your school have any reciprocal arrangements with other schools? ie, as a professor’s child, can you get a tuition break similar to what you are getting at your current school?</p>
<p>Umm, I’m not sure, to be honest. I’d have to ask my mom. I know that I get a break here, but I don’t remember discussing price breaks at other schools. It was all about merit scholarships at other universities vs. her university’s price break/merit scholarships. </p>
<p>And MaineLonghorn, that’s awesome!! It’s funny how things come about sometimes. I’m glad being the Chair’s kid worked out for you. (However, if something happened where my mother helped introduce me to someone, I’m fairly certain that she’d be beside herself with glee and bubbliness and would make it really awkward and annoying for all involved. ) </p>
<p>There are so many interesting stories about having faculty/Chair parents. I’m happy to have heard of some in the other replies, too. Thanks for all the input with those as well!</p>
<p>it sounds like your mom is nice so you should be happy to have her genetics. try to be thankful for that. most people don’t have the genetics of a university department chair. did your mom sort of make you go to the school she taught at? maybe she was a bit overprotective in that way. would she have been sad if you hadn’t? even if she did encourage you to go there, where she taught, whatever problems that presents for you should be overwhelmed by the advantages of having such fine genetics. the kids of professors can take a bit of teasing. they’re the kids of professors!</p>
<p>Lots of good advice here, and it seems like OP may already be well on the way to sorting things out. Agree with others who have said it seems inappropriate for other profs to mention the family connection, and OP should politely ask them not to do that.</p>
<p>I started college quite a bit younger than normal, so I lived at home and attended the university where my dad was a full prof, former department chair and I think may actually have been academic dean while I was there. So a similar situation to OP and others who have contributed here. I did know some of the profs, having grown up around them, but since I wasn’t majoring in my dad’s field it wasn’t as much of an issue as it seems for OP. However, I did transfer to another university as a junior. The pretext for this was that the other university had a stronger program in my major. This was certainly true, but my unstated foremost motivation was that by that time I was really anxious to get out of my parents’ house and away from the parent-connected university and go someplace where nobody knew me and I could find my own way. This worked well for me. So I suggest to OP that as time goes on, if he remains uncomfortable with being at his mom’s institution, a junior year transfer has the advantage of only two years at the higher cost rather than four.</p>
<p>I think you will get used to it. In the years to come, you will look back on this and wish you could just pop in on your mom. You’re a freshman right now, trying to find your place. It can be hard under any circumstance. It is easy to point to this as the hard thing. Everyone is having a hard time. You have simply found a scapegoat. At least you have a good scapegoat! No one has ever called my mom hot, and I am sure no one will ever call my son’s mom hot (as in me, I am his mom, obviously). I know of many situations where a parent works on the same campus as the child goes to, and even is a prof. Everything is still new to you. This will all pass. People are still in the getting-to-know-each-other phase. </p>
<p>I would have rather have had my mom be the hot mom on campus that everyone loves than the mom I did have! (and a bonus, if she had been hot, maybe I would be hot). I know that is worded awkward, but, I am doing my best. I hope you get what I mean.</p>
<p>Haha, thanks for all of the additional replies. Certainly added some, er, interesting perspectives. I appreciate it. </p>
<p>And also, just to clarify, my mom didn’t really force me to go to her university. It’s a great institution that plays to my strengths (languages), it’s close enough to home so that I can come back every now and again, it’s cheaper because of my mom being a professor, and I just have a good overall feel being here. </p>
<p>I’ve been here loads of times with my mom as a child, but it’s different somehow when you’re there for YOUR education and for YOUR life. I’ll probably get sick of it after a couple of years, but that’s when I’ll maybe escape and go study abroad in a language B country! (Mom DEFINITELY supports that)</p>
<p>With time the weirdness will wear off. Your mom is giving you space. You are finding your own way. It is too soon to think that you won’t get used to it.</p>
<p>Sounds like 1) you genuinely like the school 2) they are strong in your intended area of study 3) the financial aid is good, and allows you to live on campus (I assume without taking out heavy loans?) and 4) you automatically have a good image as in reputation with your profs. If you mom didn’t teach there, what else could you ask for? Her teaching there however is what entitles you to #3 and #4. </p>
<p>She is giving you space yet she lets you know she is there if you need her. So I think you might try to enjoy the perks and realize that you have four years to find good ways to brush off comments from fellow classmates (or even profs) who may make thoughtless remarks. To them it isn’t really that big of a deal, it just feels strange to you to see her in a new light, and to figure out how to respond. I think your reactions are completely understandable and you explained how you feel very clearly in your posts. You are articulate and reflective and motivated. Give it time and see how it goes. Best of luck!</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d actually think it’d be pretty cool. I mean, it wouldn’t really bother me. Don’t care about what others think of you (like if they “expect” you to follow in her footsteps, etc.).</p>
<p>And yes, it WAS nice to have known several of my profs from the time I was very young. I remember being babysat by one prof who I was later surprised to learn is one of the leading experts in the world in his area. And another teacher was scary and intimidating in front of the class, but I knew he was really a nice guy.</p>
<p>My dad is still teaching half-time, and another advantage to that is I still have an excuse to visit campus whenever I go home to see my folks.</p>
) </p>