Some of the preferred age range might be if either side wants to have children. If the woman is 40+ at the start of dating, children may not be easily added. A 30 year old man may want to have children (and want to date for a few years before committing)
I have two friends married to much older men. One couple were married when the woman was late 30s and the man was 55. He had children who were only 2 and 4 years younger than wife, and they did have a child who was only 2 years older than her nephews. All was fine until the husband hit about 60, and he was suddenly OLD (he also smoked so looked much older than 60)
Second friend was 40 and her husband 60. They are now 67 and 87, and lead very different lives. She still works and doesnāt want to retire to Florida, and he does want to move to be near his children and grandchildren.
I had the 11 1/2 year rule. My mother was 23 years older than me, so anyone who was more than 11 1/2 years older than me was closer in age to my mother than me. NOPE. I could have (and did) babysit for boys 5 years younger than me.
I guess itās also true that women who are thinking about kids might rule out younger men, if they think men in a younger age range wouldnāt be ready for kids. My first husband was 7 years younger than me, and it did turn out to be a problem that he wasnāt ready to have kids when I was. Fortunately, I was still able to have kids around age 40 after marrying husband 2 (also quite a bit younger than me).
My H is 15 years older. Itās worked Ok for us so far. Itās getting more challenging as heās having increased health issues now that heās turning 83, but Iāve got a bunch of health issues and Iām turning 68. We have our 2 kids and are pretty happy. We will have our 39th anniversary this month.
To be honest, I hadnāt been looking for an older man and had never dated anyone significantly older than me before dating H. He was on my volleyball team and through a series of mistakes we had a 1st date and got along very well. He and I are more in sync on many things than I am with my sibs and folks my age. We are friends with his peers and mine.
Huh, our 39th anniversary is also this Saturday. H is 15 years older than me. Heās doing great except he has a new cancer diagnosis that we are working through.
Thanksāwe are cautiously optimistic and will see what we learn with PET scan and when we meet oncologist. Many live with cancer for a long time. We will get more info soon.
I just read that Tinder is trialing a height filter on the dating app. A common response from men is where is the weight filter? Why is it ok to filter by one and not the other? Interesting times.
I was chatting with a girlfriend who is my age yesterday about dating apps for young folks. Her dd is married, and her (tall) ds has a girlfriend. She had no idea women would filter by height and said, āThat seems short-sighted.ā
Actually it seems ātall-sighted,ā to me
I have made my frustrations known about women setting this criterion on dating apps multiple times in this thread given that my ds is 5ā9ā.
Oneās attractiveness can change too, but thatās the primary filter in any image-based app.
Iām very suspicious about the suggestion that men are supposedly asking for more filters. In particular I doubt they are the ones suggesting height filters. Women do all the filtering on dating apps, men are almost entirely non-selective.
So any mention of āweight filtersā for women should just be viewed as men complaining that the height filters are giving women even more opportunities to eliminate them from consideration rather than responding to their swipes. If weight filters were actually introduced then you can guarantee it would be women using them not men.
Do not agree. I have set up many of my single friends (men and women) and itās the men who almost universally comment on the womanās weight (āsheās very fit- I like thatā or āgosh, sheād be gorgeous if sheād lose 10 lbs. She reminds me of my sister with ājust that extraā, what a shameā. Or āsheās very pretty and we had fun and sheās really interesting but sheās not my typeā which Iāve discovered is male-speak for āsheās a little overweight which means sheāll be putting on 5 lbs a year for the rest of her life, no thank youā.)
I have never had a woman comment on a manās weight. Pudgy, stringy, muscular, men get away with a LOT more bodily imperfections than women do.
Height- some women are fixated on it and others donāt care.
But in person decision making is completely different to app-based decision making. What you describe is exactly what might happen after two people match, exchange messages, and then meet in person.
But itās the matching that the filters can be set to prevent from happening. I donāt have any personal experience with online dating, but studies show that men like over 60% of profiles, while women like less than 5% of them.
Men already have an attractiveness filter (the photo) for the profiles they see and rarely use it for initial screeningā¦
Whether they filter later on (if they are lucky enough to get any matches at all) may be a different matter. Because everyone tries to give the best impression possible on their profile (including adding a few inches of height)ā¦
DH is 71, 8 years older than I am. Heās in great physical shape although I worry about his memory.
