<p>Hey, I’m a sophomore in high school. Because of the new status given to me as being a “sophomore”, I’ve began to look back upon my life and see what mistakes I’ve made. I probably am just another person out of the millions of people to say this, which is why I thank you for taking the time to read this. The most influential thing, that caused me to lose control of my conscience, and therefore, a drop in my grades, was my distance towards my parents.
I was born with my grandparents until I was almost five years old, and that was when I actually knew my father and mother. Because of this, I never gained the courage to call my father a ‘dad’ or call my mother a ‘mom.’ I have lived with only my father for 8 years now, and my mother only visits perhaps, once a year. I usually did not do anything ‘fun’ with my father, perhaps going to a restaurant once a month. We usually don’t talk about ‘fun’ things, only important tasks. When I’m sleeping, I could hear him talk to other women on chat rooms, even though he’s still married. This ‘affair’ has been going on for 8 years, but I never had the courage, or understanding of what his life was like, and therefore I did not confront him about this, even though he knows I acknowledge it, since I know how hardworking he is. He is almost unable to drive me to places at many times, because he is busy, which is the reason that I walk 4 miles to school everyday on a freeway.
I’ve always truly ignored these facts of life, since I did not want it to attack my emotional health. However, seeing as how I’m already 15 years old, I want to ask if I should keep ignoring it (maybe I have no ability to ignore it anymore), or confront my problems with my parents. So far, in high school, I believe I have made a stable climb, (3.9 GPA, finished Multi Var math in 9th grade, made USAJMO, academic team, etc., and ambition is to make MOSP which is why I’m so hesitant: it maybe a very great emotional difficulty, at the wrong time.
Again, many more people have worse problems, which is why I thank you for using your time to read this, and to answer my question.</p>
<p>I feel for you! They treat us like little children. They are too busy with their lives to notice that we actually grew up. But they have their lives, just like we have ours. As you said, your dad has his own problems in his life that you admit you don’t understand. So leave him alone.
But it’s nice that you’re doing well in school. That will provide your opportunities for a good college and whatnot. It sounds so trite, I know… </p>
<p>(BTW, I’m also a sophomore. Do you feel you changed a lot in the past year, and started to see things that you didn’t before?)</p>
<p>Are you saying that, because our parents had their own problems, that I should not repair the damage done? I feel as if I am also the one to blame here. Also, not much has changed since 8th grade, except my understanding of the technical world (from doing math, etc.)</p>
<p>First off, I promise you right now that any unfaithful actions your father has taken are NOT YOUR FAULT. Trust me. I know from experience. </p>
<p>As for your question. If you think it is affecting you enough that you should confront him about it (i.e. can’t concentrate because it keeps bugging you, etc.), then I say you talk to him just to get it out there. On the other hand, if it doesn’t affect/bother you much, I would leave it alone (for now; you can always bring it up later if you feel the need) if you think that bringing it up would cause unnecessary emotional stress on you. </p>
<p>I hope this helps!</p>
<p>MW is right, it is NOT your fault!
My 2 cent is still - leave him alone. You can not change him. There might be things you don’t know. take care of yourself. At least your dad cares about you, right?</p>