<p>I could use some advice regarding what to do about my long-time housekeeper. She and her husband have worked for me for twenty years. They are lovely people but she is a terrible house cleaner. She is not thorough and just doesn’t see the things that need to be done. When I try to point out issues, she gets very defensive and emotional.</p>
<p>I’ve put up with her terrible cleaning because for a number of years she was a combination housekeeper/ nanny and she was wonderful with my daughter who is now in college. Also, several years ago I had serious health issues and she was enormously helpful. Because of all this, she is almost like a member of the family.</p>
<p>For many years, she worked for me full time and I seriously overpaid her. After some financial set backs I’ve cut back her both her pay rate and her hours. She now comes twice a week for cleaning only (she used to run my errands) and I pay her $300. But she does, at best, only a cursory job. I’m by myself and I’m never home and i don’t cook yet my house isn’t clean.</p>
<p>I now have the perfect excuse to transition – I’ve sold my house and I’ve bought a new place close by. My sister has a fabulous housekeeper with time available in her schedule who would charge way less for a much more thorough job. </p>
<p>So, I’m thinking of letting my long-time housekeeping go. I feel guilty about this because she’s been a devoted (if not skilled employee for well over 20 years.</p>
<p>I’d love suggestions about how to break the news. I plan to offer her severance pay, but I’m not sure how much would be appropriate. Any thoughts on that would be much appreciated. </p>
<p>I have a somewhat similar situation although I’m not sure I feel as much loyalty. Still, my current person/team has been with me for years. I now have an empty nest and I have been considering telling her a while lie: that I no longer will have cleaning help since it’s just dh and me. The whole thing is awkward and uncomfortable. I’ve shared with her my concerns in the past and a mild effort to improve has followed but, in short order, I was left with very poor cleaning again. I feel uncomfortable with a white lie for myself and am now sinking lower as I ask if it would work for you…</p>
<p>It sounds like she has, to a certain extent, been taking advantage of you for awhile and you have been overpaying her for it! You sound very kind and compassionate but it does sound like it’s time to part ways. If the place you’re moving to is smaller than your prior home, you could easily say that you feel you can handle the cleaning by yourself. And, you certainly can add that your financial situation has changed and you must save somewhere. She really doesn’t need to know anything else. A couple weeks pay should be fine, up to a month if you still feel guilty. But, once you decide, it’s wise to just pay her and tell her that day is her last. Good luck!</p>
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She now comes twice a week for cleaning only (she used to run my errands) and I pay her $300. But she does, at best, only a cursory job.</p>
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<p>I found this very odd.</p>
<p>Even if she did a good job cleaning, most people in your situation would only need someone to come in once every OTHER week…certainly not twice a week. </p>
<p>If you have “non-house-cleaning” jobs for her to still do, and she does those jobs well (such as laundry, errands, pet-care, etc), then continue to have her only do those things, and pay her accordingly. But, twice a week for $300 is way too much. </p>
<p>If you want to end the job completely, then I would give her a few weeks notice, and in the meantime have her do the errands, etc, that she does well. </p>
<p>It’s hard to do but it is rarely a good idea to keep someone around your home or workplace after letting them go. It sounds harsh when someone’s been around that long but maybe making a lunch or coffee date would be easier.</p>
<p>We faced a similar situation with our long time housekeeper of 15 years. A few years back we began spending part of the year out West, but kept our home in the Northeast. We needed her part time to collect mail, look in on the property and also to work during the summer months when we all came back. But for the 8 months we were away we obviously did not need cooking, cleaning or grocery shopping. I was very upfront and explained the situation and she was naturally upset as she depended on the 40 hour a week income. She told me that she would only work the part time schedule until she was able to find other full time employment. H was very uncomfortable with finding someone else to look after the property and was prepared to pay her the full salary. I felt that made little sense.</p>
<p>This woman is very good so I asked everyone I knew if they needed help. We ended up keeping her for 10 hours a week and our neighbor who still has young children hired her for 25 hours a week. They go away for the entire summer so we will have her back during the summer months when the whole family returns.</p>
<p>In the end, I think you need to do what is best for you, but don’t underestimate how hard it is to find trustworthy people. I would be upfront about your situation but after 20 years I would be as generous as you can with severance. Perhaps you could also talk to your friends/neighbors to help her get situated with a new family.</p>
<p>I would let her go on the day you tell her - you do not want her in your home unsupervised after you’ve let her go, especially if she’s as emotional and defensive as you say she is. Add to the severance pay however many weeks you may have kept her on - she’s not doing much anyway. I would also be prepared that she won’t take it well. It sounds like she’s been taking advantage of you for years (perhaps unintentionally), and it will be tough for the gravy train to stop. I went through a similar situation years ago, and I was shocked at how rude and emotional the woman became after I terminated her - she took it personally and seemed to think that I owed her a job for life.</p>
<p>It is very common for boundaries to blur over the years with people who work in the home…this woman may feel that she IS part of your family, and as such, thinks you owe her a lot more than you really do. You’ll have to steel yourself and expect a bit of a scene…if it doesn’t happen, great, but if it does, it’s best that you end it firmly and respectfully.</p>
<p>Were these employees being treated as such for taxes? Or were they all being paid under the table? Did they claim the earnings for self-employment taxes if they weren’t employees? (Did you issue them a 1099?)</p>
<p>Never mind. Posted regarding rate but I realized you know it is really high. Can you pay her severance through the end of 2014? Plus Christmas bonus? That would give her 2 months to find other work. I would not foist this person on friends/neighbors if she does not do a good job. But I would offer to give her a good reference letter since she sounds like she is loyal and trustworthy with your home and child.</p>
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I would let her go on the day you tell her - you do not want her in your home unsupervised after you’ve let her go, especially if she’s as emotional and defensive as you say she is. Add to the severance pay however many weeks you may have kept her on - she’s not doing much anyway. I would also be prepared that she won’t take it well. It sounds like she’s been taking advantage of you for years (perhaps unintentionally), and it will be tough for the gravy train to stop. I went through a similar situation years ago, and I was shocked at how rude and emotional the woman became after I terminated her - she took it personally and seemed to think that I owed her a job for life.</p>
<p>It is very common for boundaries to blur over the years with people who work in the home…this woman may feel that she IS part of your family, and as such, thinks you owe her a lot more than you really do. You’ll have to steel yourself and expect a bit of a scene…if it doesn’t happen, great, but if it does, it’s best that you end it firmly and respectfully.</p>
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<p>I think this sort of thing happens when you have an employee that is working full time or near-full time for you. They often have little to nothing else to jump to.</p>
<p>I learned from a personal experience that it doesn’t take long for a full-time employee to “blur boundaries.” </p>
<p>If she’s great with kids, then you can recommend her to others with kids. But, you can’t recommend her to people who just need a housekeeper since she’s lousy at that. </p>
<p>I wonder what she’s actually doing when she’s supposed to be working at your home? it sounds like you are rarely there when she is there (or when she’s supposed to be there). Makes me wonder if she’s watching TV most of the time. lol</p>
<p>I have always contributed to my housekeepers, who also served as nannies, maids, caretakers retirement plans. I have two right now who work for me and are paid by MIL’s funds since she needs a lot of help and can well afford it. We pay taxes, SSN, the whole nine yards so that it’s all above board, and I also include an IRA contribution each year to them. As a result of not going under the table, I feel I’ve kept things with all of those who have helped me raise my family, and keep the household clean and running, on a business basis with provisions for their futures. I also like the women who work for us and would help them find other jobs if we were moving, could not afford their services any more, had other needs better met by others. </p>
<p>It seems to me that your housekeeper would do well in people care, either as a nanny or aid. The one woman who works for me is wonderful that way and I could recommend her highly in that capacity, but not as a cleaning woman. The other is great at house cleaning, but doesn’t have the personality, patience or desire to work with, say, a demented elderly woman or other person needing help in from an aid. But there are needs, a lot of them in both areas. Frankly, your housekeeper might benefit greatly from getting certification as a home health aid, and that would be a good offer on your part to arrange and pay when you let her go. As well as some retirement contribution. I don’t have any idea if the women who work for me even deposit their pension checks I write at year end into the IRAs I set up for them, but they have that option and I made it easy for them to do so.</p>
<p>THough I like them very much, and they seem to like me as well; I’ve known them for a long time now, NO, they are not anything like family to me. I’m stuck with family, believe me, I have enough family. And they have plenty of family. They are not even friends. They are very valuable employees and I treat them as such. They seem to be very content with the arrangement they’ve had–they’ve certainly had other options over time, and always have worked me into their schedules regardless, even when they’ve been paid more. If they want or need something and think I can help, they’ve asked for it from me. But we’ve kept the relationship at arm’s length. </p>
<p>I had the same situation. I told my old housekeeper that I was going to handle my own cleaning for a while because of the move and all…and that I would contact her when I needed her again.</p>
<p>I’ve got rid of my house cleaner that way, she didn’t clean thoroughly. I think this is back in 2000 and I paid her more than $15 hour. I tipped her generously too. But while I was unemployed I found I my allergy and sneezing was due to the fact that she never cleaned under the furniture or bed. Proper cleaning as I was tonight when I was teenager is to move the furniture and vacuum under the bed.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the helpful advice. To those who asked, yes, I fully complied with the law as to taxes. Also, when she was my full-time employee, I provided health insurance.</p>
<p>Nottelling, it sounds to me as if you’ve been more than generous over the years. Now is the perfect time to end your employment arrangement. If you haven’t yet moved to the new house, I’d have the locks at home rekeyed first (do the same to the new house, too, if anyone else has had keys to it.) Then I’d meet with the woman (or the couple, if more appropriate) and tell her that you appreciate her services over the years but can no longer employ her. I would not go into reasons since the move is reason enough. I’d give her a check for whatever she would have earned through the end of this year, but not permit her to return. </p>
<p>I’m sorry if my suggestions sound harsh, but you never know how people will react and I would not want someone back in my home after being terminated for any reason. Your housekeeper should be well aware that she’s not been doing a good job and has been lucky that you’ve kept her on for so long. Despite that, she may feel angry and resentful. You might offer to provide references and suggest that she consider working as a home care companion, but that depends on whether you think any advice would be welcomed.</p>