" I do wonder if it would be better to not worry too much about the quality of the 1 page assignments, let the niece do what she is capable of on her own rather than making each one a big production."
I totally agree with this. Not every assignment needs to be a masterpiece. Just get it done. After the first two especially with some instruction it should get easier to turn out a reasonable paper. If it’s not a whole page but covers enough details then move on. Being overly critical of first attempt writing (or just about anything really in my opinion) is discouraging.
It’s not magic–it’s more about practice.
My personal little short story: I had an assignment in elementary school (5th grade I think) to write 10 one-page reports on different birds. Supposed to be done over several weeks. I didn’t do anything until I realized that I was the only one in the class that hadn’t even STARTED on the assignment.
I panicked, went to the library the following Saturday and did all 10 reports in one day. No joke. So, I know it can be done. I can still see me sitting there at the library desk. And how great Monday was since I was DONE.
Even at age 11.
I learned two life lessons–I can pull things off pretty well even in a pinch and that it’s MUCH easier not to procrastinate.
So two weeks is plenty of time to pull this off and still go on vacation for your niece.
Yup, that first week of school is going to be a shock. Our kid’s school would have called parents to come pick up the kid if they were not showing up in uniform(not for minor infractions, but if out of uniform for multiple days).
I feel so bad for this child. Her parents lack of support, maybe even contempt, of the school requirements, are going to be disastrous. She will likely be asked to leave the school within a few weeks.
Do you have any idea why your BIL/SIL is taking this stance? Sometimes understanding their POV helps because you can decide if you can address the issues or not. For example, if they’re basically lazy people you could suggest solutions that don’t require them to participate. If they’re trying to encourage your niece to be more independent you can help guide the niece as appropriate and/or help your BIL/SIL to understand certain issues like uniforms have to fall into the parents’ purview for practical reasons. I’m not suggesting either of those are the cause, just giving examples of possible causes and ways your approach might need to differ depending on what the root is.
What on earth are these parents thinking? It almost sounds as if they want their child to fail so that she will be forced to go to the public school in her district. Or the parents have zero respect for authority of any kind and are using her as a puppet to demonstrate this. Either way this is not very healthy behavior. I really feel sorry for this kid.
And like many of you, I don’t like summer assignments, but in my house, if you sign up for something, you submit to it.
I am very much in favor of letting kids mostly do their own work in the lower grades. Those grades don’t count. Who cares what an 11 year old gets in English? That grade isn’t going on any transcript. This is the age where kids need to learn, not build a resume. I feel its very important for the teachers to know what the child is really capable of.
I’m not advising against a little homework help here and there. Thats just supportive parenting. But I see no reason to spend a lot of effort polishing these papers. They need to know what she is capable of doing so they can give her the support she needs.
It is hard but you can’t do anything. In the end your niece is their child and they will raise her as they see fit. I have a similar issue with my in-laws and how they brought up their kids – sometimes I feel like my tongue is bleeding because I keep biting (zero priority on education in that house) it but there is nothing I can do to change things, It is a frustrating and sometimes even a sad place to be. I feel for you.
What in the world are her parents thinking?
They don’t get to rewrite the school rules. Or the curriculum. Ugh.
Is the original school she’s supposed to attend any good?
If yes…
There is one other tack if it appears to be a better option if it blows up-- Re-frame the mindset of D.
The D is overwhelmed by the number of kids in the school she was supposed to attend. Totally get that.
Does she have friends going there? Big plus.
Are there clubs there she would be interested in? Fun stuff that might be missing by going to the charter school?
Chorus, math clubs, honor societies?
I was upset before college because the school was really large and it seemed scary.
My sister (who had attended the school) assured me that it WASN’T really big at all–she totally re-framed the scenario for me.
“You don’t meet 30,000 kids.” (that’s just stupid think) You only meet whomever is in your classes. Or if it’s a huge class–just the guys/girls around you. So, 10 maybe? Can you do that? But pretty much no different than what you do now.
“You see the SAME people on the street every day–everyone changes classes at the same time.”
“You have classes with the SAME kids every day” And that number is pretty small for the most part.
Your “world” is actually just a very small part of a bigger town that you don’t interact with unless you want to.
And that was for a huge university.
If I had to write a paper on each chapter of a book I’d want to throw the book out the window. What kind of book is it? But I’d probably ask the school about the assignment before I told my kid it was optional. As for uniforms, I strongly object to uniforms in public schools and didn’t like spending money on clothes that make kids look like golfers but I bought them and even ironed the little khakis and polos because it wasn’t a battle I was willing to fight with the school when there were bound to be more important battles.
My daughter had summer work almost every year. It ramped up in high school but was certainly there every summer in middle school. It was also not optional and graded. DD also went to a school where she had to wear a uniform. Not optional. Automatic detention for being out of dress code. (And the school was more strict at the beginning of the year). A certain number of detentions resulted in a suspension and then dismissal. Charters and privates don’t have to play by the same rules as public schools. They can and do kick kids out because they know their home public school is required to take them back. If your sibling wants their daughter to have a fighting chance of fitting in both socially and academically, they need to hear loud and clear that the rules apply to them.
Personally I would say something to your sibling and to the child. Then the ball is in their court. Good luck!
The parents signed up for the school and should support their daughter in following the rules they signed up for. They’re not doing her any favors, and it’ll be worse for her going to the big public school in the middle of the year when she is thrown out of the charter school than it would have if she’d gone from the beginning.
But this is how charter schools get good results: by selecting for people who follow the rules even when ridiculous, and parents who spend a lot of time helping, or more than helping their kids, with homework.
The parents could really care less about school. Their stance is it is on the kids and the school for them to become educated. I remember my SIL complaining when this niece was little that her kindergarten teacher said that she needed help at home learning to write letters. My SIL was enraged that the teacher would ask this, felt it showed the teacher was a failure, and that it wasnt her job to educate her daughter, it was the schools. It was really sad to listen to that and see how little she cared.
Money is not an issue regarding the uniforms. Plus it is colors vs a specific purchase from the school, they could get the clothing at Target or Old Navy. Plus I have offered as has my MIL. Why they would deliberately make this difficult is beyond me.
@Wellspring --I would throw the book out the window too. I haven’t read a book that I could even come up with a page of comment much less 5 pages at the end. And as for uniforms–my kids private school gave up eventually on some of their “standards” basically because nobody including parents cared.
But if I cared that much at the start I wouldn’t be signing up for it.
It’s probably not the book–it’s the writing practice. It’s probably not the uniform–it’s the team spirit.
Another one who is not a fan of summer assignments or uniforms, but if you sign up for a charter school you sign up for the whole package. I actually agree that the kid should perhaps be turning in a one page assignment that reflects her actual abilities. And I really despise the sort of assignments that have you outline each chapter of a book. Ugh a way to make you hate reading!
All that said, my son had a summer assignment to write an essay. He wrote it, though it was no great shakes. About half the kids in the class didn’t do the assignment and his teacher was not a fan of summer work either, and felt most kids really had no idea how to write an essay without more guidance. He allowed everyone the first weekend after school started to complete the assignment. I think the average grade was a D. Then he had the kids rewrite those essays until everyone in the class had at least a B essay. Those kids learned how to write in that class.
Bad example. No negative effect. It’s 6th grade. She’ll learn a lesson if it makes her uncomfortable at the new school. My daughter would be so mad at us if we didn’t tell her the importance. If the child isn’t prepared that is a good wake up call at this age. It will all end well or at least as it will unfold. Nothing you can do but urge your sister to reconsider that statement it makes about the importance of keeping your word and doing your bookwork. Reading a few books over the summer gets an A+ from me. Five papers and five page summary with presentation sounds ludicrous at 11.
S’s school ‘offered’ fines/detention/service for kids out of uniform. D attended a different school and there probably was a consequence, though I don’t know what it was. D would have never been out of uniform (her choice!) and the uniforms were only worn through middle school. If there had been uniforms in high school, I’m sure she would have found out…
