<p>Do you think it might help if you let her know a concrete way in which she could “pay you back”?</p>
<p>My animals are my family, and their safety is my number 1 concern. Finding a good pet sitter is HARD. When I go out of town, I have a person that comes in to look after my two piggies. It is very involved with specialized care and is A LOT of responsibility, as they are very fragile creatures, and once something is wrong you have about 24 hours or less to get them to the vet, or it can be too late - you get the picture.</p>
<p>The person that I have is AMAZING! And she has never asked me to pay her. I would never feel comfortable not giving her something though. Her petsitting would probably cost me at least $150 or more, and how good she is is priceless to me.</p>
<p>I try to get her things I know she can use or, more recently, gift cards, and I would never ask her to display what I gave her, but I really feel like I have to do something for her, because she is taking care of what’s most precious to me. I kind of wonder if your neighbor feels the same way.</p>
<p>I’m with bevhills and consolation. If someone gives you a gift, etiquette requires you to accept it graciously. Then, as bevhills says, do whatever you want with it - donate, recycle etc. The neighbor is wrong to pressure you on where the pillow will be displayed, however. I’d be totally noncommittal there. </p>
<p>As consolation says, subtle hints and information about downsizing are obviously not enough to discourage this individual. IMO it would be best to accept that you aren’t able to control this woman and let it go.</p>
<p>Again, thanks for all the feedback. Yes, these people consider their cat a family member and she is an exceptional cat. (I used to think they were “crazy cat people” until I came to know the cat and she truly is a people cat and communicates in her own way.)</p>
<p>And yes, part of the issue is that the neighbor does like to see her gifts displayed and is often in my home. I guess I am paranoid about having my home turn into a display space for her gifts! I think there are some people who are compulsive shoppers and express themselves that way. I get uptight about clutter and truly need to downsize so my anxiety level rises when something additional enters the house. I feel so good dropping bags off at Goodwill. </p>
<p>May all my problems be such little ones! Thanks again for the input.</p>
<p>Come on, people. Just take the stuff, say thank you with particular enthusiasm for the consumables, and let it go. Concentrate on being glad that you have such a nice neighbor, even though she–like all of us–has her foibles.</p>
<p>I think that it is very poor form to ask for a present at all, much less a specific item, even if the intent is to head off an unwanted gift. Adults are expected to greet any present with surprised pleasure. It is acceptable to say what kind of thing one prefers IF ASKED. Clearly, this neighbor is not asking. :)</p>
<p>Hideous is in the eye of the beholder. And would one really want to repay this kind and thougtful, if misguided, neighbor, by deliberately giving her something nasty?</p>
<p>Oh, musicamusica, love you ellebud but thanks for the laugh. My neighbor would go into my bedroom and look. I have a very poor housekeeper, me. But it’s a great excuse!</p>
<p>Despite telling my mother for the past 3 years that I don’t want anything for Christmas from her, she buys me stuff that I don’t want. Some can be returned to the store, others are used books or ‘treasures’ that she picks up at her women’s club flea markets. She’s on a very limited income, so I don’t want her spending money she doesn’t have, in addition, we are trying to de-clutter so we can sell our ‘big’ house in 4-6 years and downsize once the nest is empty. </p>
<p>I don’t think you can make people stop buying stuff. I agree with the suggestion of hinting that consumables are wonderful.</p>
Thanks again for the input.</p>