Discretionary spending -- What are you willing or unwilling to spend money on?

Parent Cafe
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After responding to a post about a couple dropping off $250 on a restaurant meal (actually, it was someone that was being stiffed for the other couple’s share of the bill), I began to think about what niceties in life (assuming that one has some disposable income) is and is not worth spending money on and where people’s priorities with respect to discretionary spending lie.

We often talk about how much we are and aren’t willing to spend on our kids’ education and some posters (rightly or wrongly) like to correlate that with how much they have spent (or would) spend on purchasing automobiles, but I’m wondering about your approaches to less big ticket items.

How do y’all handle discretionary spending?

I, for example, won’t spend a lot for travel – much as I’d love to travel in first class and stay in fancy hotels, I fly economy and tend stay in cheaper Airbnbs.

While I love to eat great food, I won’t spend money to go to fancy restaurants and will seek out happy hours, etc. to save $$. I more readily spend money on the arts than on food or drink, but even then, I seek out bargains to feed my theater habit. I see an average or 2 to 3 plays a week, but I almost always get discounted tickets (often with partially restricted views), go “rush,” and become a subscriber both to support the theatres as well as to get subscriber discounts. I was willing to see Hamilton (3 times!) but only because I was able to get reasonably-priced seats well in advance. I don’t go to many concerts these days as they’ve gotten too pricey for my taste.

While I wouldn’t mind owning a fancy car, I buy base model Elantras, Subarus, Toyotas, and Hondas rather than BMWs, Mercedes Benzes, etc. I drive my cars until they die (>10 years).

I also don’t spend much on clothes nor do I care about fashion. I shop at Ross and Marshalls and go to the clearance rack first. I shop for comfort and price – not fashion.

How about you all? What will and won’t you spend money on?

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Purses. I just don’t get spending $$$ on a purse. We dine out a lot. Not fancy, but now that we’re empty nesters it’s just easier!

3

I buy hardcover books. Often.

4

We were pretty frugal as we saved for college. Now both kids are done and then right when they were done we got a very large unexpected windfall inheritance. Here’s how we spend then vs now.

Travel
Then: one big vacation often driving every 2-3 years staying in Hampton inn level 4 of us to a room. Plus a yearly weekend get away at , for example a water park we drove an hour or so to. If we flew it was coach.

Now: I’m someone who doesn’t like to travel much and will only do so ( now that I can afford it) by going First class. . Otherwise I’d truly rather stay home. I won’t go coach anymore unless it’s truly an emergergency or only an airline like Southwest has the only good times for that city. I’m willing to pay a lot for a great hotel but am still willing to stay at a Hampton/ Hilton Garden inn if it’s significantly more convenient based on where we are going.

Eating
Then. We ate out maybe twice a month spending no more than 30 per person. Otherwise we ate at home though I didn’t bargain hunt.

Now We are willing to pay $100 plus per person to eat out but I can’t afford ( diet wise) to eat out like that much. We go out at most once per week usually in the 25-50 per person range . I have zero interest in going out to eat during the work week ( Sunday- Friday ) and enjoy cooking ( very simple stuff) which is inexpensive compared to eating out…a $10 per person meal is cheap for eating out but expensive for home. Tonight’s dinner was about 6 bucks per person. Hardly frugal but cheap in comparison to eating out.

Then. I bought mostly from target or a maybe Macy’s. I was heavier so didn’t enjo clothes that much.
Now. I recently lost a lotbof weight and I enjoy clothes and buy everywhere from Target to Nordstrom. I plan to buy one very expensive purse every 2-3 years. I have bought VERY expensive belts.

Cars.
Then bottom model Honda Accord or Pilot. Kept at least 10-12 years
Now. Top of the line Honda Accord or Pilot. Plan to keep about 8 years.

Books

Then. Most books from library. Would maybe 5-6 tines a year buy a paperback
Now. Buy whenever I want 3-4 books per month.

Newspaper
Then Had a local paper and a NYT subscription

Now. Online subscribe to 7 newspapers.

TV
Then. had a basic cable subscription. No Premium channels

Now. . All premium channels Amazon Prime, Netflix Hulu.

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Jewelry - I have a set of Pt/diamond that I never take off… I do not see a reason to spend $$ on additional bling.

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I started to respond and then realized, it’s not a good idea!

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Okay now that I’ve thought about it a little…I have a top of the line sewing machine and I never skimp on fabric. I spent $$ having a catio built for my 2 cats. I buy whichever needlepoint canvas I like and use the best yarns. Then I pay for finishing. If there’s a show or concert I want to see I’ll buy two tickets and invite a friend, my treat. But we planned on all that when we thought about retirement. My husband has his indulgences, too, many involving vintage power tools and robotics. We have season tickets with our adult kids to the National Geographic lecture series and I have season tickets with friends to a theater company in town.

We don’t travel much and live in the first house we bought (in 1988.) I am grateful that I don’t have to think too hard when I spend money and I have learned over the years that while some of my purchases might seem extravagant to people who don’t share my interests, it’s also true that I don’t spend the kind of money others might spend on housing, travel, cuisine, cars. I guess we all have our priorities. Oh, and I like cheap chardonnay (I learned to love it when kid 1 was in college.)

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I agree with @momo2x2018 but wanted to say to @LoveTheBard that I’m really impressed that you’re able to attend an average of 2-3 plays a week!

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I’ll pay for great seats at the fine arts but resent the relative pittance spent on a rotten movie. Right now, so few movies interest me.

I don’t know what you all do with all those hardcover books, once read. I’m not impressed by a full bookcase, unless it’s books you routinely use.

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What I pay for:

I pay for quality, classic clothes that I’ll wear for years and years. One of my favorite recent buys (well, maybe two or three years ago) is a black cashmere crew-neck dress from Neiman Marcus. It was a couple of hundred dollars and I figure I’ll wear it till I die.

I also pay to travel to visit my children and their wives. I don’t pay a lot to travel – I’ll always look to find a bargain – but I don’t hesitate to travel frequently.

I love to entertain. I’d gladly have friends over ever month or so but have to content myself with ever few months. But when I do, I pull out all the stops.

And I pay freely and gladly to keep my house in tip-top shape. Landscaping, grass cutting, repairs, new furnace, cleaning lady, and so forth.

What I don’t pay for:

I don’t splurge on good wine. I really can’t tell the difference between good wine and OK wine.

We rarely go out to dinner anymore – just Chinese food if we do. I love shopping Costco and getting good prices there.

Cars – I"m now driving a 20-year-old Mercedes that we bought used 16 years ago.

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Agree, its kinda risky to post here without it sounding like a humble brag. We have become much more willing to spend for comfort/convenience than in the past, and have come to realize that in some situations, you get what you pay for. A recent crppy purchase followed by crppy customer service with ebags makes me realize that cheap is… cheap. I will not shop ebags ever again as they clearly don’t care about their customers.

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I don’t spend a lot on clothes - an embarrassingly little amount, but I look fine.
I don’t buy jewelry or purses. I’m OCD about clutter, so that helps. Shoes, nope. New furniture, no. Home improvements- yes, but we do the work ourselves. (My H is very handy).
We go on great vacations- my greatest memories with my family.
I don’t skimp on groceries.
I’ll pay for quirky original art over a replica any day. That being said, my favorite is a small watercolor of a barn I bought from a 94 year old artist for $15!

13

I never buy books - I use the Library instead

We buy low end toyotas or hyundais (buy not lease)

We no longer go with the cheapest hotel room (have traded up days inns for boutique hotels - but certainly not the ritz). We never fly first class and look for bargain flights.

We don’t eat out often and would never dream of spending more than $50 or so a head and buy inexpensive wine to drink at home. That being said, we eat well at home, buy good meat, etc.

We buy clothes at inexpensive places - Kohls, dress barn, old navy, famous footwear, etc. We love using a coupon!

I splurge on amtrak - get the acela instead of the local to make the trip shorter and more comfortable (better for our bad backs)

We have people do snow removal, lawn maintenance,and yard work but I do shop around for the best deal. Again - this is mostly due to our health - can’t be bending down etc. anymore.

We will spend for upgrades to the house - high efficiency furnace, higher quality roofing material, etc. I think this is a money saver in the long run, as then it doesn’t need to be replaced as often. I do shop around for contractors to get a good deal.

We splurge on a high rent apartment for my daughter, but it means she is in a safe and comfortable place and that is worth it to us.

We don’t subscribe to any extra channels, etc. Get by with our verizon fios and amazon prime membership.

We buy my daughter an expensive iphone every few years (when the old one breaks), not the latest model (no X more like a 7). Again, this is important as it is her lifeline and is used for everything (no landline for her).

Last time she needed sneakers, we bought our daughter an expensive pair ($100 ones - instead of the typical cheap ones). Well worth it, as they are over 3 years old and still being worn (compared to cheap ones being replaced every 9-12 months).

14

Interesting question!

Dh’s retirement nearly coincided with ds’s college graduation, so ds’s graduation didn’t necessarily cause us to be able to spend more because we have significantly less coming in! I am probably more mindful of how I spend my money now.

Things I spend discretionary income on:

Shoes - Narrow feet here, and well-fitting shoes that don’t hurt one’s feet are worth every penny.
Clothing - I like clothes, and I like having new things to wear.
A monthly facial
Nicer hotels when traveling
Sheet music - It’s cheap and brings me much joy. Big ROI for me.
Tipping - I go above and beyond.

Things I am not willing to spend discretionary income on:

Manicures and pedicures - manicures make no sense for classical guitar playing. I can do my own toes.
Coloring my hair - I have embraced my “Arctic blondes.”
A personal trainer or gym membership - I make myself exercise without external motivation.

Things I used to spend discretionary income on but not longer do:

A housekeeper - I miss this, but I can’t justify it with only 935 sq ft and a hubby who equally shares the load.

15

We have finally become an age that I don’t feel guilty on what we want to spend our money on. Be that is our hobbies or what we wear or dining out. It’s very liberating to be this age and be able to spend $ and time on ourselves.

What we don’t spend money on is funding our children’s lifestyle. We don’t subsidize their phones or housing or even health care. They have jobs now with their own health care and retirement funds. The kids are older now and self sufficient.

In my real off line life, this is the thing that so many of my relatives, friends and neighbors are still doing. A relative brags about how her kid is supposed to be supporting themselves. But they are still paying for the phone and health insurance even though the kid is in his mid 20’s. They just bought this kid a house, that they completely renovated for them. Because he didn’t like living with roommates. I have acquaintances still paying bills for kids older than myself.

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We happily pay our kids phone and health insurance because ecomically as a family it just makes sense. Adding a line or another person to the phone or health insurance is so much cheaper than individual plans that we feel like we’d be throwing money away to do that. Our kids have offered to pay us their share but we are extremely fortunate that we can easily afford it and frankly they are going to inherit from us one day so it just makes sense to preserve assets as a whole.

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Finally I bought myself a top-of-the-line camera and a new computer, both of which I use for work. My camera was 12 years old; the computer almost 8! I’m that frugal.

I think we eat out too much, partly due to our high schooler’s schedule. We’re extravagant mainly for birthdays, but nothing crazy. I don’t drink, so that keeps costs down.

Our cellphones are older iPhones we bought outright; we now use Tello and Twigby for phone service after years of being on Verizon.

We both drive Subarus. Our house is modest.

I’m willing to invest in education to a point…

18

I spend money on quality clothes, shoes, handbags, hair care, skin care, anything that touches me. I love driving a nice car, but hate paying for taxi or Uber. I am great with public transportation. I love to travel and hate to sit in the back. I would rather cook for myself rather than pay for cheap bad restaurant/take out food (I would rather not eat). There is nothing that bothers me more than staying at a bad hotel room.
When I was younger I used buy a lot of nice jewelry, but I would wear them everyday. I didn’t buy jewelry to put in the safety deposit box.
What I don’t spend money on is country club, big charity events, sports.

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@kiddie, I agree about shoes! We always splurge on them. I get excited if I can get them on sale, though.

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It’s hard to define splurging. I’d say we splurge on travel, but not fancy hotels or first class. On good cheese and bread but definitely not $30/pound cheeses. My hiking shoes are expensive because my feet suffer otherwise, but they are the most expensive shoes I own. The most expensive piece of clothing I ever owned, after my wedding dress, is my aikido uniform at $140.