Disowned and Needs Help

<p>My child has a friend who was disowned from his parents within the last few days. He has no car, money, clothes, phone, etc (cancelled or taken by parents) and is relying on the help of friends for a place to sleep daily. Had a great freshman year at a NC school and now has no resources for the upcoming tuition. Could qualify for the a 6,500 Stafford Loan based on last years FAFSA info, but has no access to any current parent data to get it.</p>

<p>Anyone know of anything that can be done to help this poor kid out?</p>

<p>If he's already filed FAFSA for the 10/11 academic year (it should have been filed last winter/spring), he doesn't need any parental data. He just needs to accept/request the loan through his school. Stafford loans are in the student's name and do not require any sign off by the parent. He will be in trouble next year though, if he's not 24 and doesn't have the situation resolved by then.</p>

<p>May sound obvious, but needs to talk to NC school immediately about situation...agree with sk8rmom though...for FAFSA purposes, etc., he will still be "dependent" for aid purposes until age 24....</p>

<p>He needs to go into financial aid and explain the situation. Tell him to document everything that happened with his parents.
If he truly has been thrown out on the street then financial aid can help him.
The 'rule' is dependent until 24 but there are exceptions.</p>

<p>General wisdom says that these exceptions are fairly rare. He will need the parents to cooperate to fill out the FAFSA the next time it rolls around. He can be "cut off" financially (no phone, car, etc) and still have the parents take the 30 minutes to confidentially fill out the free FAFSA form!!</p>

<p>I would actually advise this child to fix whatever he did to screw up his relationship to his parents. Sounds like he did something pretty awful and the parents have gone "tough love" on him. (I could be wrong, but usually parents don't do that kind of sudden switch-a-roo without the adult child having done something rather stupid to trigger it.)</p>

<p>The two thing I can think of is his parents found out that he's gay or he got a girl pregnant.</p>

<p>Tell the kid to make an appointment at the financial aid office to talk about him being disowned and that he needs financial advice. They're there to help. That's what the office is for, they deal with all kinds of situation.</p>

<p>I would be curious to hear about actual cases where an adult kid was "disowned" by a parent and they suddenly got major freebies or a full ride to a university. Because if that were the case, I think I would go ahead an "disown" my two kids over some made-up disagreement and thus save us anywhere between 40K - 160K in college costs via the university providing that free ride for my kids. I mean, if it is just my kids' word they have to go on...</p>

<p>And thus is the problem of this approach. No doubt the parents have cut off the son, for whatever reasons, but I would still be very surprised if colleges would or even could offer anything other than the most nominal help.</p>

<p>This isn't a case of a parent in jail, homeless or severely mentally ill where a college stepping in might be more warranted (though still a choice by the college even then).</p>

<p>I would be curious to hear about actual cases where an adult kid was "disowned" by a parent and they suddenly got major freebies or a full ride to a university.</p>

<p>I agree. </p>

<p>Getting "disowned" by parents is rare and usually involves something rather serious...like violence, theft, or something like that.</p>

<p>is the child being "disowned" or just being told that the parents will no longer pay for college?</p>

<p>Do you know the reason for being disowned? Is it a heat of the moment thing or is this truly a situation where the parents have disowned him? Many young people get thrown out of the house, disowned for all kinds of reason. This is a time of great insanity and a lot of friction with parents.</p>

<p>another poster brought up the possibility that he's gay. Aren't there organizations that help people out in that situation?</p>

<p>Another poster took a WAG as to why parents would disown a child. No evidence to support that theory.</p>

<p>There may be organizations that help those whose famiilies abandon them upon discovering homosexuality, however, it is highly unlikely to be enough to support the individual. It would be help in getting the individual independent and self sufficient, such as in getting a job and whatever social services can provide. Perhaps legal help to be declared independent. </p>

<p>Regardless of the reason, if the student is truly disowned, the best thing to do is to look for some free legal help to get some court declaration of independence. The problem is if the kid is 18 or over, he is already independent for most purposes...just not for college aid. An inquiry should be made if some sort of document or ruling can be made for the student to be declared independent for those purposes so that he can submit his own FAFSA and financial aid papers for college.</p>

<p>In my experience, kids who are thrown out of the house are not going to get FAFSA or any other cooperation from the parent. The main problem is finding a place to live and a job. Not many takers who want a young adult down on his luck and homeless. </p>

<p>My son has a good friend who has been homeless at times. His mother died a few years ago, and his father had abandoned the family long ago. He lived with one sibling or another for a few years until they moved out of town. He then lived on friends' sofas until he could find a job that paid enough for him to rent a room. There is not enough federal/state money for him to live on campus anywhere and go to school full time. Nor is there enough aid for him to go to school full time and pay for his room and other living expenses. All he can do is go to school part time, work as many hours that he can, often "under the table" and barely get by. </p>

<p>I've known parents who have not thrown out their kids, but won't fill out the fAFSA or financial aid forms eliminating any chance for them to get financial aid. Crazy? Yep. But it happens. You cannot force anyone to complete and submit those forms.</p>

<p>I can't imagine anyone these days disowning a child for being gay. Do people still do that? </p>

<p>I'm thinking it's something more discipline related....like not respecting house rules, drugs, alcohol, disrespecting parents, stealing, etc.</p>

<p>Sounds like he might have to take a Leave of Absence from the NC school, either this year if he can't afford to attend school, or next year (if he has already qualified for significant FA for this year). He might have to work to support himself, and come back to school after he has reconciled with parents, or do a few years at CC (not the worst thing in the world). before returning to finish at 4 year college.</p>

<p>Who knows? many parents would be swayed by their 19 year old son working full time to support himself.</p>

<p>If he explains his situation to the financial aid office, and especially if the parents refuse to give information to fill out the FAFSA, he can see if the school will consider him an independent student and therefore qualify for higher loan limits.</p>

<p>It really depends on the situation. I know that my college did this for one student, but only after he was sent for a legal conference. I don't know the details, but paperwork was filed so that he was deemed independent. He came close to filing for a leave of absence, I remember, before the funds came through.</p>

<p>In his case, however, he and the parents reconciled. There was then a big to do regarding his situation, and I believe some of the aid had to be paid back. </p>

<p>So a school experienced in these situations may ask the student to take leave for a "cooling down" period, and for the student to seek legal advice and help in the even there is no such reconciliation.</p>

<p>If the kid situation with the parents isn't temporary then the school would help file for independent and look for more potential financial aid. That's why I said to go make an appointment. I did not say anything about freebies or free rides. Dunno why you guys suddenly assume people who are disowned get that.</p>

<p>That happened to me but I didn't talk. I really did want independent status to get more gov loans but I just couldn't put myself to talking bad about my family. The office still hep me financially by increasing grants, finding me loans and sound advice.</p>

<p>But to be independent, you have to give them a lot of details over the situation, were you abused, when were the last contact, etc. It's pretty much a case to make sure it isn't fake. When I said over 6 month(now over a year), they said it has to be a year without contact to file independent unless you were abused. They'll even do it over the phone which happened to me cause I was in another state, and even when I didn't want to file, they still ask in person to see if I changed my mind.</p>

<p>"I can't imagine anyone these days disowning a child for being gay. Do people still do that?"
Yeah. Still do. After this generation and it should be history.</p>

<p>It won't be history. Parents are still disowning kids for things that were taboos in the dark ages but pretty much accepted these days. A lot of times this happens over frivolous stupid things. Tempers just get hot sometimes, or thre is an intolerance issue. Of course, sometimes the parents have good reason too.</p>

<p>There are other reasons besides being gay or pregnant for which parents disown their children. I have granted dependency overrides for various other issues. The key is that the relationship is irreparably broken, and the student must be able to document the break. I have turned down numerous requests for dependency overrides, of course - but there are definitely cases of parents "disowning" kids that will qualify for an override. The only way for a student to know is to file a dependency override appeal with the aid office - realizing that everything must be clearly documented and "laid bare." The sooner the student does this, the sooner he/she will know if it's accepted or denied.</p>