Dived into admissions after results didn't meet expectations for oldest kid? (repost with clarifications)

[AustenNut]

@LondonAero, thanks for being responsive to posters’ questions. You’ve remained open and polite, for which I commend you.

This thread reminded me of a different thread, and here are two quotes that I thought might be helpful to share here.

It seems clear that you value admission offers for your kids to SHYMP and T10 schools. Below are a number of other goals that many people often value for their kids (and themselves):

@AustenNut

Here are a number of examples of longer-term goals, several of which were inspired by this source.

• Being respectful
• Being responsible and accountable
• Being independent and self-reliant
• Having problem-solving and conflict resolution skills
• Setting boundaries
• Being curious
• Having a love of learning
• Being resilient
• Being self-confident with a strong sense of self
• Having relationships built on trust, respect, and open communication
• Feeling a sense of belonging
• Feeling loved and supported
• Feeling worthy
• Being kind and thoughtful
• Being emotionally and mentally healthy
• Being physically healthy

When you think about the possibility of an admission offer to one of the schools you desire for your kids, how does it compare with the other goals listed above?

@AustenNut

I think it also helps to put in perspective whether getting into MIT or winning competitions or whatever other data point a family might care about is more, equally, or less important than some of those goals/values listed above, and then make their own parenting decisions accordingly.

So a question for you and your family is, which characteristics are less important than an admission offer to a highly selective/rejective school?

Being responsible and accountable? Independent and self-reliant? Being curious? Having a love of learning? Being resilient? Having a relationship built on trust, respect, and open communication? Feeling a sense of belonging? Feeling loved and supported? Feeling worthy? Being emotionally and mentally healthy?

And if you think that no college offer is more important than any of those long-term goals, are any of those long-term goals being damaged by the efforts to get into a highly rejective college?