<p>If you are going to put your house on the market, let your husband take the cats. Many buyers have allergies or negative associations with the cat smell. Once you have the house thoroughly cleaned, it’s better to keep the dander out.
I’d also recommend getting the house on the market in July/August, even if your kids are home for part of the time. Traditionally, August buyers are serious buyers.</p>
<p>HI All,</p>
<p>So I’m back again – and I might sound a bit indecisive.
I have been clearing out for a few weeks and find three very empty bedrooms getting no use and a huge finished walk-out basement that’s empty.
Our house is outside the city limits - a bit of a drive for my guests/friends (20 minutes). I’m an independent consultant and most days work from my home office. It’s a tranquil setting- but again, it’s so isolated and feels more so than ever with only me. I want to reside closer to the main part of town - but not on a congested road or so close as to see my neighbors from my windows.<br>
So today I spend some time seeing some properties. My goal was to have no mortgage - turning over the equity in the house into a much smaller home or before today, I hadn’t even considered a condo and now find myself intrigued by this option.</p>
<p>The market for condos in my community is FLOODED. Which means for me, in one particular development, units that were selling 160/170 can be had for 130/140.
I’ve actually found 1 unit in 1 particular development that was larger than most - with a 3 bedroom 1500 sq feet and finished basement (no windows). I loved the kitchen.</p>
<p>Since my H left, the stress level is way down-- I’m enjoying life fully.
I realize that this euphoria may wear off and I haven’t yet gone through the grief phase that many experience post-separation.
Tearing down one house may excelerrate the process in a unnatural or unhealthy way. Why many say moving is stressful-- I actually enjoy and look forward to designing and redecorating a new home. That seems very wonderful indeed.<br>
So I cannot ask CC’ers to comment on the pros and cons of a speedy move-- but I do want to ask you all about some perceived numbers.</p>
<p>So my house is worth less than I anticipated. Realistically looking at $155 in equity after all realtor fees, sale etc.</p>
<p>Current situation: in original post-- $1800 of expenses to live in current house with $425 in taxes and $ 360 in energy.</p>
<p>I can buy a condo for $130k - hence no mortage and leaves me with $30 k cash on hand.
My monthly expenses would be the same for taxes (b/c oddly both are assessed at the same value at $170) initially-- but would decline to the purchase price with a request for reassessment from the assessment office. Energy costs shrink to $130 (current owner usage) but there is a monthly homeowners’ association fee of $250. The fee covers the roof, the doors, the deck, the snow removal, grounds maintenance, the driveway. So it’s a wash on the monthly expense – down to $750-800. The big item that disappears is the mortgage of $1100. This would feel liberating on my budget-- cutting expenses by 50%.
I could of course pay off my balance on the current mortgage from 401(k) and get the same net impact on my cash flow. This would leave me owning a too large home and heating a too large home vs. owning a small condo and paying the same in cash flow- this time in lower energy costs but maintenance fees.
In terms of investment- honestly the condo is a better investment- newer property and better proximity /location to things desired in this community.</p>
<p>So I am torn between buying the condo and rushing to get out of this home or staying put and spending lots to live in this place and waiting another house selling season. Moving does feel rushed-- but the joy of owning and transitioning the new place sounds great. Another crazy option to really load up expense would be to buy the place and rent it out (rentals in that area are 1200 to 1500 per month) so I would more than cover a mortage and association fees (I would need a mortgage for 130000). This is more complicated- but I also don’t rush moving. And I now have an investment.</p>
<p>Any inputs?
Does anyone recommend a particular call-in radio show with some financial advisors-- ? I used to listen to those years ago - now I don’t any other than the consumer guy Clark Howard-- but this isn’t really his deal. I’m willing to call in to a stranger and run some numbers. I could hire a financial planner - but that seems like I’d rather use the money on myself!</p>
<p>I’m taking a second look at the property on Thursday - and bringing a friend who knows me well to see the space and the neighborhood.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone!</p>
<p>Happy 4th of July!</p>
<p>“check to see if your zoning laws permit that sort of thing–ours don’t.” - If you become interested in the boarder idea, I think you can set up a “roommate lease”.</p>
<p>It’s often said that “moving up” makes sense when real estate values are down. In your case, it might work the other way too. If you are on the fence, feel out your kids to see if suggest strongly one way or the other.</p>
<p>I could only tell you what I would do. I would buy a condo if I could stand being near neighbors. House repairs, outdoor maintenance, roofs/ deck/ lawn/ shoveling-- all gone. To me, that’s worth a lot. </p>
<p>As far as call-in shows: you could try Suze Orman.</p>
<p>OP - I’d suggesting renting a condo for the next year. Clearing out your home, putting it on the market, selling it and then renting. It will give you a good idea of the size of space you need and the area you want to be in. I’m in real estate and I’d recommend a townhouse over a condo. Condos have more financing restrictions and tend to be higher risk as investments. YMMV</p>
<p>As an aside, my parents divorced while I was in college and it was very difficult not ever having a home to go home to. Even if your boys seem not to be bothered, try to create a familiar space for them. I’m glad things seem to be going so well and I wish you a lot of happiness ahead and will look forward to your updates!!</p>
<p>thanks rom828
Yes, my thoughts are to make sure that each adult child has one of the three bedrooms set for them with their things from home (although I think it’s time to discard the boxes of legos and the shelves of stuffed animals!). There is a finished basement - so all the trophies and the ping pong table and the gaming systems-- they’re coming with me.
Older sibling is the sentimental one- but she spends all of 6 weeks home a year-- 4 in the winter and 2 in Spring, so I hope I’ll have their blessing. There is space here for them to stay and play. </p>
<p>All of this contingent on getting the low ball offer accepted-- which the realtor is very confident will fly! She’s one of the best in the business in this community.</p>
<p>I would also recommend renting for a year in a condo after you sell your house. Gives you time to figure out if that is a good fit for you, or if a just a smaller house nearer to the city center would be better. I always worry in condos about the closeness of people if they turn out to be noisy, dirty etc and you are stuck because you own rather than rent.</p>
<p>Thanks for the continued inputs on whether to buy or stay.</p>
<p>In my last post, I’m particularly interested in inputs on the financials.
Does it make sense to downsize from a large home worth $225-$250 with 5 years left to buying the condo outright ($130 on a typical 160/170 property). Monthly trade-off loose the $1100 mortgage. Trading $800 of taxes and energy costs in big house to $700 of taxes, energy and home owners’ fees. The big deal here is that I loose the mortgage. I go from a private more tranquil larger 2000 sq foot home (not counting the 1000 finished basement) home 20 minutes outside city to a 3 bedroom 1500 sq ft condo with a 700 sq foot finished basement (no windows in that one) 5 minutes from town center but in a neighborhood with common floors, and views of others’ co-joined backyards.</p>
<p>In my mind some of that decision is economics and some is personal. My sibling sold her house post divorce and bought a condo with no mortgage. By doing that she was able to quit a job she hated and take a job she loves that doesn’t pay much. She gave up privacy (as you describe) but the trade off has been worth it. Since she is alone she is happy not to have any maintenance, yard work, etc. The complex has plenty of walking spots, a nice pool, etc. and she is happy with her choice.</p>
<p>I think at this point in your life, it does not matter. Do what make you feel good. The mortgage rate is pretty low, you also get to deduct them. Mortgage free reduces stress. But I’m always wary about condo fees. There are too expensive and will never disappear which might make it harder for resell. You might not care but potential buyers might.</p>
<p>Several of my mom’s friends sold houses & bought condos. After living in them for a while, they decided they missed their yards, didn’t like being so close to neighbors, etc. & sold their condos & repurchased houses. A few were happy with the move & some have since moved into retirement communities.</p>
<p>DON’T buy a condo with the idea of renting it out to others - if you can’t find a renter, you are stuck with TWO mortgages!!! If you want the condo, make sure your offer is contingent on your house selling - again, you don’t want TWO mortgages. I would sell and rent for awhile, unless you really love the condo, in which case, buy the condo. If I was single, I would live in a condo - NO WAY, could I handle the house, yard, etc,e tc…</p>
<p>Many people here on CC and in my circle of friends and relative have equal reservations about condos-- fear of the association fees and fears about the noise and lack of privacy relative to owning my own home. </p>
<p>I thought that perhaps a test ride would be great - but since I like this particular property and the deals are so great – I’m thinking about making my purchase offer to include renting the condo with an option to buy at any time within 12 months at a price specified in the agreement. So if I love it after 3, 6 or 9 months I buy and if I don’t like it, I’m done with it and move on to another property, In the interim, I get my house on the market.
The rental fee would be set in sync with the purchase price – giving the sellers more money in total for their inconvenience and uncertainty of having to put it back on the market and/or I could offer to paint the entire house before leaving if I decide not to buy.</p>
<p>Younger sib gave me the thumbs up – said it’s cool as long as there is a bedroom that makes it a place to call home. Older sib said this meant that there was no home-- once stuff was moved, and given the infrequency-- it would only feel like a place to visit and not be their home. I said all your stuff is going - as is. Adult child still responded negatively and asked why I was selling the house I loved (yeech!) </p>
<p>Thoughts?</p>
<p>Sounds like you’ve thought this through pretty well. Older sib’s attitude might be more to do with HIS/HER associations with the house & divorce than any of YOUR feelings. Glad the younger sib is good about your making changes that work for YOU.</p>
<p>It would be worthwhile seeing if any of the sellers are interested in your proposal for rent to own, with you having the option and right of 1st refusal. Given the sluggish market, you sound like you should have leverage in making your offer.</p>
<p>I made an offer on the condo.-- negotiations began last night. </p>
<p>So excited thanks for everything from CC folks!</p>
<p>Now I’m thinking about paint colors, bathroom tiles, picking out hardwood floors and where all my nice furniture will fit and which “cat-scratched-had-this-too-long-it’s-time-to-part-with-it” stuff to put outside with the “free sign” curbside!</p>
<p>Realtor made a video for me as we walked through to send to the kids at their summer locations. Younger sib really liked it quite a bit and picked a bedroom already , Older sib a bit less supportive and had some comments to try to talk me out of my decision–but thanks to my good friends who been through divorce recently- they assure me that the kids come around and realize it’s not about them!</p>
<p>Thanks Again-- I’ll let you all know if I am able to secure the property in the negotiations!</p>
<p>OP – I have been following part of your post. You sound happy and excited! I’m so glad things are working out!</p>
<p>Just like to point out one commonly held misbelief about how financing works with a ‘rent with option to buy’ in case you ultimately decide to buy the condo and need a mortgage.</p>
<p>Many people assume that their monthly rent payments can be counted as their eventual downpayment on the home. So if you’re paying $800/month rent, after 12 months, you might think that you have already built up $9600 ($800 x 12) of ‘equity’. But here is how banks see it – they only give you credit for the amount you are paying above and beyond ‘market rent’. So if your rent is at market, you will not have a credit built in as your downpayment. You would have to come up with your downpayment out of savings.</p>
<p>If you want more info, feel free to PM me.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Hi Everyone,
Four months ago I posted and read through the decision and my updates over the summer.</p>
<p>Thought I’d share how it all ended up.</p>
<p>Finally, I got the condo for a bargain and put $15,000 into it for new hardwood flows and updating bathrooms, painting, etc. It looks beautiful – but not ready for move in yet-- contractors a bit overextended and work still lagging.</p>
<p>My house sold a few weeks ago-- a few final repairs were done this week as part of removing the last contingencies on the purchase offer-- the buyers return this weekend for final thumbs up.</p>
<p>I’ve enjoyed the new found single lifestyle-- no looking back. While it’s sad that a three decade relationship (even a bad one) ends, I embrace the life changes ahead. I even landed a new job on August 1! So as far as life’s stressors go- I racked up a bunch-- separation, house move and new job.</p>
<p>Younger sib continued to be supportive – even gave me a bunch of sweat equity end of the summer in moving, renovations etc.
Older sib was not supportive of either the move or the impending divorce. Made me quite miserable the week she visited and left on a very sour note. Regressed to a 12 year old and hopeful that the house would always be here, dad and mom are only temporarily separating, yadaayadaa.</p>
<p>In terms of the housing choice-- the only “regrets” - I have too much furniture-- not too much “stuff” but furniture to fit into the new place. I downsized the closets, the book shelves the kitchen- pruned it all away. Still, too much- I have a living room of stuff and a family room of stuff-- 5 couches/loveseats in all and only 1 family room. two beautiful tables – and only one dining/eating area ahead, tons of bedroom dressers, tables etc…and no where to stage it all. Rather than throw it out- it is going into the basement.
H moved himself into a dump - a small one bedroom apartment and took none of the stuff.
Both kids were in tears (each at separate times) that H did not make a place for them. </p>
<p>So in the end-- my new home has been carefully staged-- the joy of picking paint colors, the right floors, the fixtures for furntitures (who knew that even choice of faucets could be that much fun) and now onward to the new kitchen counters has been exciting.</p>
<p>I’ve started new activities and resumed some I hadn’t done in years-- and have met many new people and cultivating new friendships.</p>
<p>So all I can say- is while it may have moved faster than would seem emotionally healthy- I actually feel pretty healthy both physically and emotionally. even the therapist I see once or twice a week thinks I’ve been really stable and solid. </p>
<p>My advice to all of you reading my post and thinking- this sounds like me, or to the dozen of you who PM’d me with reservations-- go for it. Find your new life- it’s not easy, and there’s sad moments, and sometimes even a sleepless night pondering it all - but every day I wake up- -no regrets and excited for the future.</p>
<p>All the best to everyone – and to all your college aged children as well - which is of course what brought us all to this website in the first place!</p>
<p>This sounds fantastic, Staying! How exciting for you!!! You sound very happy.</p>
<p>Try to get rid of the excess furniture. Maybe one of your kids wants it? It’s just stuff – don’t feel obligated to hold on to it. There’s no point stuffing your basement to the gills with stuff you don’t need and will never use.</p>