<p>My parents got divorced when I was 8ish. Ever since, my dad has hated my mom. Or it seems that he hates her.</p>
<p>Now that we have that said. I have a congenital chest defect. It heavily impairs my function. My mom has been wanting me to get a corrective surgery. My dad has fought her the whole way, and finally, we have a date scheduled (May the 27th). They went to court today and my dad ended up getting my mom to pay TONS of court fees and attorney’s fees. She was heavily upset about that, but still happy about the surgery.</p>
<p>All of a sudden, my dad wants to be more involved. Meaning he wants to care for me somewhat after my surgery. My mom
had planned on taking care of me the whole time, and now she feels as if he is taking me away from her. I am regularly with my father as is with the custody agreement. He now just said to my mom that she has to pay for a flight back with him. Ontop of all the other things she has to pay for. She is in the other room crying right now, and I don’t know what to do. My step dad is with her.</p>
<p>I know I missed some details. I will fill them in as I see they are missing. For example, I am seventeen years old.</p>
<p>I suggest posting your question in Parents Cafe. Your concern, which is a big one, is one in which most young people would lack the life experience to be able to give you very helpful answers. Many young people post in the Parents area when the young people want advice from older people.</p>
<p>From what you’ve posted, I don’t think it’s a good idea for your father to take care of you while you are recovering. For medical reasons, it would be best if the person taking care of you knows you well so the person could spot any issues that indicate you may be having a setback. It would be unwise for someone to take over in the midst of your recovery unless the person who had taken on that responsibility wasn’t able to do it throughout your recovery. </p>
<p>If your father wants to do things to become closer to you, the time to do that would be after you’ve completely recovered from surgery. Perhaps you could suggest that he and you do something special together (at his, not your mother’s expense) after you’ve fully recovered.</p>
<p>My parents are too divorced. My father is an ass.
Fathers are good for that. </p>
<p>In any event, sometimes the child has to step up and take on the adult role in the relationship. Since your father seems to be reverting to childish antics, you should consider approaching him, in the most mature manner that you can, and let him know that you disapprove of the way he’s handling the situation and treating your mother. Either he figures out a way to work with her, instead of using you as a catalyst to hurt her, or your relationship with him likely become very, very strained in the future. (e.g., after my father pulled a similar stunt of trying to attack my mother, I stopped speaking to him and have had zero communication with him in five years.)
I’m sure neither of you want the same outcome.</p>
<p>Sometimes, they can get so wrapped up that they fail to realize that, in their efforts to hurt the other (former) spouse, they’re also hurting the child involved.</p>
<p>This is something, in my opinion, you need to speak with him about and let him know your feelings about the situation.</p>
<p>heh it;s like the opposite with my parents, altough they are mostly on good terms now. and I agree that you have to talk to your dad about this.</p>