<p>I think I have anger management problems, especially when it comes to issues related to my level of intelligence, capacity or sense of self-worth. I particularly tend to become irritated when people tell me things that might be construed as expressing a low opinion of my intellect. For example, the time one of my teachers congratulated me for my hard work, I did not doubt for one moment that her compliments were in earnest, but I felt hurt all the same because it seemed like she unwittingly revealed something negative about the way she perceived me, possibly as a kid who did well in her class because he worked hard and certainly not because of his intellect.</p>
<p>I know that I tend to read too much into benign remarks like the one I described, and was wondering if this something that everyone has to deal with or if it’s only me. If it’s only me, what can I do to be less sensitive?</p>
<p>If you go to google and make a search on “college life forum” this forum comes up, and seeing how touchy college kids seem to be (the comments on this thread prove it) I thought my question was appropriate for this forum.</p>
<p>LOL! You need to read “Talent is Overrated” and the fable, “The Tortoise and the Hare,” and finally, you might need a therapist to work on your self-esteem issue. First, construing a compliment about your work ethics as a backhand attack on your intelligence demonstrates a level of paranoia I haven’t seen yet. Second, hard work beats natural gift any day of the week. One prime example is Jamarcus Russel. Physically gifted beyond most NFL players, yet he has no work ethics despite being paid tens of millions. Jerry Rice, on the other hand, is moderately gifted, but work harder than a starving fat kid devouring a hot dog. </p>
<p>"I guess the only question now is why you didn’t just Google “anger management problems.”</p>
<p>Because I came up with the thread title at the last moment.</p>
<p>“First, construing a compliment about your work ethics as a backhand attack on your intelligence demonstrates a level of paranoia I haven’t seen yet.”</p>
<p>I agree, but as I said in my initial post, I did not doubt for one moment that the teacher’s compliment was sincere. It upset me because any person can work hard, so if I am complimented because someone thinks I work hard, where does that put me?</p>
<p>Possessing intellect is irrelevant unless one is willing to put effort and work into going above and beyond what one’s natural intellect allows. One can possess intellect, but not possess the work ethic or ambition to apply the intellect. </p>
<p>Accept the compliment and allow yourself the right to feel pride and fulfillment from the compliment.</p>