<p>I was at the orthodontist today and a particular incident made me realize how diffident I am in front of and towards adults…</p>
<p>Generally, I’m well spoken and confident around peers, but I find that I’m often not myself or resort to unnecessary reservation when interacting with adults. </p>
<p>For example, today, I went to the ortho to get my wires changed. I felt a little bit of the end of the wire scratching the back of my mouth, but I thought I’d be able to deal with it, so I went home thinking not much of it. A few hours later, the scratching was getting worse and during lunch I found out that the inside of my mouth was bleeding cause of the constant poking of the wires. I went back and got the end clipped off. It got better. But after a few hours, it started poking me and bugging me again (I would’ve normally sucked it up, but with my wisdom teeth coming out in a couple days, I didn’t want to double the nuisance). So I went back a third time. This time, before even looking inside my mouth, she said she did everything she could to stop the poking. I told her that I didn’t feel this sort of poking and scratching for the past 8 months that I’ve had braces on for, so I thought I’d come get it checked just in case. I also told her that my mouth bled whenever I tried to chew something. </p>
<p>Then, she made a remark that I would have chased after IF she was a peer. She said, “Whad’ya eat? Cherries?” and sort of snickered at me with the receptionist. Then the receptionist said, “Maybe we need to get out a bedroll for you!” And they sort of laughed it off and never really said “sorry” or expressed any sentiment of that sort for making my mouth bleed all morning. </p>
<p>I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t get myself to say something back. Would it have been appropriate for me to be smart-alecky and say something back? Honestly, I don’t think it was fair for them to make me out to be some whiny pansy when they were the ones not doing the job right. </p>
<p>For those who may be wondering, this is the same ortho and the assistant who made my two front teeth uneven…</p>
<p>I know what my kids would have said to them, and I would have been on a call to the doctor before they could even say sorry. My kids are usually respectful to adults, but they would have no problem calling them to the carpet if they were treated badly for no good reason.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if it’s the same ortho who made your two front teeth uneven, and you still went back to them, then you need to think about why you are not a better consumer.</p>
<p>Where was your parent in this case ? Clearly, they took advantage of you .Didn’t they give you wax for emergencies ? This is a case for OBNOXIOUS PARENT !! I would have handled this in a jiffy !! Sometimes ,it is good to be older with more life experience . You probably don’t have enough experience in dealing with adults ,but you will get better as you grow older .Good luck !! Adults here to mean non -family .</p>
<p>That’s the thing…my parents can’t speak English very well, and I’ve always felt because of that, I need to take care of things on my own. </p>
<p>As for not moving, I called numerous orthos and dentists and jaw surgeons and the majority seemed to say it was okay. I would have still moved just to ease my mind if another ortho was more available, but the next one is 3 hours away.</p>
<p>Tell them if they couldn’t fix it then you would need to go to another doctor to get a second opinion. Your insurance company may question as to why you would need to go to another doctor, if it’s due to malpractice…</p>
<p>I think you’re just being respectful to adults and I commend you for that. Also, I’ll let you in on a dirty little secret which you’ve probably figured out already: some adults do not treat adolescents well, especially when there is no parent present. This happened to both my kids at various times, but usually with service people. I don’t believe in stepping in and fighting their battles for them but sometimes it was necessary. They did learn to be more persistent or even argue or demand if necessary, usually by watching my example. Anyway, this is what you could have said: “Honestly, I don’t think it is fair for you to make me out to be some whiny pansy when you are the ones not doing the job right.” Then they’d think twice next time about being flippant with you.</p>
<p>mousegray - I think you’re right. I think a big part of the reason I don’t know how to react or respond is because I never had the occasionally-obnoxious-english-speaking parent to learn from. I’m starting to realize it, though, and I think that’s the first step.</p>
<p>I totally understand your reaction - you were being polite and respectful and they were not. I wish you could have said in response to the cherries comment: “You wish it was cherries!,” and regarding the bedroll: “Yup, bring it out cuz I’m gonna need it after she gets done with me!”</p>
<p>If you do lack confidence, I certainly don’t see it in this case.</p>
<p>What we have in this case are some seriously incompetent (whether wrt technical competence or patient relations or both) adults. There is no excuse for how this orthodontist treated you and little excuse for the behavior of the assistant (but, hey… she hired her, didn’t she!)</p>
<p>The only thing I would suggest you should have done differently in this situation was to speak up while you were in the chair (or on your way out) and noticed that the wire was scratching you. I would have said “I think the wire is scratching at the back of my mouth,” and expected the orthodontist to look, adjust or whatever.</p>
<p>Where do you live that the only other orthodontist is 3 hours away? Because what you need to do is find a different orthodontist at your earliest convenience.</p>
<p>It is true most adults, especially in the service industry, do not treat young people with respect. That being said, I know at least with my older daughter (she is 21 now) she would have made a scene, in the nicest way. She would have said it in a loud enough voice that everyone(other patients) would have heard her, “I am sorry if I am whining a bit, but my mouth is still bleeding and I can’t seem to chew anything…Are you sure there is nothing you could do for me?” </p>
<p>When D1 was in high school, sometimes when out to dinner with friends, they would get very bad service. She would call the manager over to express her view. If it’s a restaurant in town, I would go in to on her behalf sometimes.</p>
<p>jmmom, I’m in rural northwestern Canada. ONE school district in the city, one safeway, one ortho, one community college, you get the point.</p>
<p>I’m going to be at UPenn starting this fall…if my orthodontic treatment is not finished by then, I’m going to look for one down there for sure… </p>
<p>Does anyone know how dental insurance works for international students in college?</p>
<p>Oldfort - I did say that my mouth was bleeding quite loudly and that’s when she said, “did you eat cherries?”</p>
<p>Powerbomb, did you make all of those visits in the same day? Speaking as someone who had braces 15 years ago (not sure if orthodontics have changed…), it could just be that the damage the wire did the first time around scratched your mouth inside and the braces rubbing it after she clipped it the second time could have just been irritating it some more since it was sore from earlier. I probably would put some wax on it and see if it felt better the next day. Is the woman that did the work your actual orthodontist or does she work for him/her? </p>
<p>That being said, they were very rude. You did what was right. You can’t be afraid to put your foot down when speaking to someone older but you don’t want to overstep your boundaries either. You’ll figure out what they are as you go.</p>
lol, in my town there is one school district, zero Safeway or any other major grocer, zero community college… just got our first traffic light. But I can still get to a large number of orthodontists within 30 minutes in various surrounding towns/cities.</p>
<p>I guess there’s different kinds of rural :).</p>