<p>Ok, I sort of took the easier way out.
I told him we decided it was time for him to handle his money, but I was starting by giving him enough money till he comes home for the holidays.(my husband was actually more comfortable with that). We will go to the bank when he comes home for Xmas, and put his name on the money market, so he could transfer money to debit card himself.
I explained that there are 30 weeks till end May (when his job usually kicks in), and his money includes frat fees, New years, etc., and not to expect anything more from me if he’s short. I tried to get him to realize that the final months before graduation will not be fun if he has no money.
He seemed pretty happy with that scenario.
Now I have to stop looking at the debit card, because he’s already spending…</p>
<p>I also mentioned that Barnes and Noble was looking for help in his town, sorry…couldn’t resist! He said ‘I could do that’…we’ll see.</p>
<p>Sounds good! He’ll have questions, but that’s to be expected as this is a new responsibility.</p>
<p>Today, my college freshman called to ask how to cash his work-study check. What? He’s had a job since he was in seventh grade so this is nothing new. But then he pointed out that when he was in middle school I would get him money as needed and that for the past several years his money was direct-deposited and so he never had to worry about cashing a check. OK, new skill learned! It’s all part of growing up …</p>
<p>I wondered about check cashing also, the bigger firms will direct deposit, but if its a small restaurant I doubt it. Our bank is not in his state, so I wonder if he will have to pay a fee to cash his check?</p>
<p>
An on-campus job, if he can find one, is often better from the standpoint of being more lenient with finals and class requirements but of course it varies.</p>
<p>
He can just open an account at a Credit Union (or a bank if he really prefers that - CUs are usually better IMO and usually with lower fees) that’s convenient to his campus. There’s a good chance there’s a credit union branch on campus if it’s large enough for one. He can then handle that himself - yet another learning experience.</p>
<p>Many banks will now let you deposit with an iphone app. Endorse the check. Take a pic of both sides and it is deposited. Keep the paper copy for later verification if needed. Works great for D who is out of state.</p>
<p>Can he go to campus cashier or bursar’s office and cash with student ID at no charge? Hasn’t he opened an account on or near campus? We did that when each student enrolled in college.</p>
<p>Yes, our kids love deposits made via smartphone too. Haven’t tried it myself but both kids really like the convenience.</p>
<p>Thanks for the tips!
He has managed to work only with a debit card from our local bank, which is not in his state. He avoids fees by getting cash back from purchases.</p>
<p>Suggest that he keep a daily record of everything he spends–dare, amount, and what was purchased, as well as expenses he knows he’s obligated to pay like frat fees, parking, insurance, grad gown and photos, etc, so he can have a better idea of how much money he will actually have over what period of time.</p>
<p>Our S2 was paid weekly for his p/t job throughout h.s. So when he went off to college (lived off campus), he preferred that his money for living expenses (food/gas/incidentals) continue to be deposited into his acct. weekly. </p>
<p>He had a student account connected to our bank acct. DH set it up for the same amt. of money to be automatically transferred from our acct. to S2’s acct. on the same day every week. It worked well for him and we didn’t even have to think about it since it was an automatic transfer. We never asked how how/what he spent it on. It was his to manage. If he blew it all at the beginning of the week, he’d just have to lay low until the end of the week when the new deposit came in.</p>
<p>Let him go broke, but be sure to cap any credit cards that you’re responsible for. Also be sure to warn him to not charge on hid own card what he cannot cover in a month.</p>
<p>My vote is to give him the money he earned and when it runs out, it runs out. DO NOT GIVE ANY MORE!!! You will be giving him money for the rest of his life if you don’t stop now. We all know people that no matter what we earn it is never enough. Do you think things will get any better when he has graduated and you are no longer paying for his room and board? Money management is one of the most important skills we can teach our children.</p>
<p>If you wanted to give more money, I would base it on what he didn’t spend in a month. For example if he has $2000 left in his account and that is to last for 4 months. At the end of the first month, if he had more than $1500 left in the account, say he had $1600, you would match the amount he saved that month, which would be $100. </p>
<p>We gave our kids control of money early on and they all are very good savers. If our kids were going to an event where they could spend money on this or that, we always told them they could keep whatever was left over versus bringing back to me the change. They always would have money left over because they saw it as their money and they are much more frugal with their money than with mine.</p>
<p>Give him his money, and drop off a case of ramen noodles when you hand over the check. Tell him that’s for if he runs out.</p>
<p>He deserves full access to his money. I had full access to my money since I started working at age 14. I did not ask my parents for money while I was in high school, and when I was in college, I got from $20 to $50, usually only $20, per month for incidentals from my parents, and they paid for my books as well. I did not take anything from my savings.</p>
<p>Let him have the money, and be prepared if he goes broke to either catch his fall, or tell him to bum a spot on a friend’s couch until he gets a job.</p>
<p>This is a good opportunity for him to start managing his own money. Will he make mistakes? Likely. But this is the best time for him to learn, before he leaves college.</p>
<p>+1 to BrownParent in post #113.</p>
<p>I often wish that my parents had said that they would like me to live in my college town all year long and learn how to survive as a working adult during the summer, and that they will both provide help in figuring out where to start but that to a certain degree it would be up to me to learn how to use the resources available. And that if I was going broke, that it would be up to me to figure out where to go from there. I will say that as someone in hos older 20s right now, I actually wish my parents had done that instead and feel I would be better off in more ways than one if they had.</p>
<p>If you are really worried about his abilities, you could break the money up and give him more and more per giving it. For example, there are 7 months left in the school year, divide what he has left by 8, and then give him that portion by the month. </p>
<p>He should have had control of his money years ago so that he was not in senior year and dealing with this. My husband had a similar situation and it took years in to our marriage for him to finally get it. The longer it goes on, the more damage that is done. But letting him lose it all doesn’t neccesarily teach everything. You can coach him on what to do and work his way back in to having his money. Maybe help him write up a budget so he knows how much be needs. You don’t want to leave him having to drop out, or homeless, mid senior year. However, homeless mid senior year is not the worse thing that could happen. He could continue down this path, and learn his lesson a much harder way…like after he has children and his marriage falls apart or he and his wife and children end up homeless or bankrupt because he never ever learned to manage his own money.</p>
<p>His money… He’s an adult… His prerogative to spend as he sees fit. He’s never going to learn how to handle finances with someone doing it for him. Maybe he needs to learn the hard way. At any rate, you can’t babysit his bank account forever. Cut him loose to live and learn. At that age he needs it.</p>
<p>Right! How did this start? I’m curious because once my son started making money I never saw it after a couple of little jobs when he was 12. In fact, back then it was his 50-bucks and he knew it. If it was a check he was right there at the mailbox. Even at 12 he was not about to turn it over to me…and I wouldn’t make him. Because, why? Hmmm.</p>