do kids say yes ma'am and yes sir ??

<p>

</p>

<p>When the above happens, it doesn’t bother me too much. It just seems silly and almost kind of cute.</p>

<p>On the other hand, when a younger stranger addresses me as “Miss” (“Excuse me miss, you dropped this”), is sounds so gratingly ignorant and almost rude to me…given that I am in my 60s.</p>

<p>Regarding the topic of what mothers get called, has anyone here ever heard high school girls call their mothers “Mamadukes” and/or refer to them that way?</p>

<p>I never said one was more correct than the other. Obviously one is correct in the south and one in the north. I do think it’s interesting, though, that while most northerners seem to understand that “this is how it’s done in the south” and recognize that kids down there are showing the appropriate manners for their region, that some southerners conclude that “northerners are just rude” as if northerners believe sir / ma’am to be polite but are just too lazy to use them, and aren’t aware that sir / ma’am can be perceived as overtly rude and disrespectful in the north, especially when applied to loved ones. That’s all.</p>

<p>PG, you wrote: “Too bad it sounds polite to Southern ears,” like it must be incorrect. And perhaps, Northerners recognize “that’s how it’s down in the South” but that hasn’t stopped posters from saying it was a manifestation or ageism, sexism, racism and more. It’s simply regional manners and nothing more. If a young person doesn’t say sir or ma’am to me I’m not offended or don’t think poorly of them, but I admit that if a young person says sir and ma’am I think to myself, There’s goes a well-mannered Southern kid. :D</p>

<p>

I don’t think that is happening on this thread. Is that really how you are perceiving the comments from the folks down here in the south? There are just different customs and phrases. No one needs to be right or wrong.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Having lived in the south for 25 years, I don’t think anyone thinks that because someone doesn’t use these terms that they are being rude. It’s really something that kids are expected to do, not adults. Now there are adults who do continue to the expression as described by tk21769, but not all do and often it’s done in very limited circumstances (like when addressing the elderly or someone is a very senior position). I think people are reading way too much into this.</p>

<p>I think an interesting offshoot of the whole ma’am/sir discussion is how many people object to young people addressing them that way because it makes them feel “old”. I can’t believe that anyone really and truly believes that those 2 forms of address have ever been intended only for the elderly, but it is true that they are intended to be used in addressing adults. </p>

<p>Maybe those of us who are boomers and younger are still ambivalent about being considered “grownups” but I can’t really believe that any 35 year old (or older) parent really thinks that the 17 year old boy who cuts their lawn or their 19 year old daughter’s visiting friend considers them peers, but who knows; maybe they do. What I find hard to understand is why any adult would want a child, teen or even a college kid to consider them to be at the same level in life. They are no longer around to be asked but I’m pretty sure that my parents were very content to be adults and had little to no interest in having my friends call them anything other than Mr. or Mrs. In fact, they would have considered any of my peers who presumed to call them by their first names to be quite impertinent…and they were born and bred yankees for heavens sake! </p>

<p>Would Don Draper have objected to being called sir because it made him feel old? I think not!</p>

<p>Joblue, I also have found that aspect of this thread interesting.</p>

<p>In my neck of the woods, I expect my 17 year old’s friends to call me “Mrs. Smith,” not “ma’am.” They are not my peers, nor are they at my level, obviously. It seems to me that the southern style is less formal, friendlier, but I’m at an age where I can tell if it’s sincere or just a veneer - and if it’s a veneer, I’d rather not hear it. I’ve spent a lot of time in Texas, and I can tell the difference. BTW, the friendliest, most unassuming people, generally, who I’ve encountered in this country live in Wisconsin, or more specifically, along the Lake Michigan shoreline north of Milwaukee to Gill’s Rock. They are quite casual and genuinely friendly - it’s very noticeable to someone like me who lives in the northeast.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>ditto. differences in cultures should be treasured. that’s why diversity is considered a positive thing. just let it be, no one is “wrong.”</p>

<p>JoBlue, I think you have hit upon something important that is currently going on in our society right now. There are many in our generation who believe that getting old is a sign of some sort of personal failure on their part. Thus, the quest to look as young as possible for as long as possible. So, of course, some people don’t want to be reminded they are getting older. I think there’s a lot of denial going on.</p>

<p>Where I live, addressing the elderly as ‘sir or ma’am’ is actually considered to be a form of bestowing the highest level of respect upon the recipient. There was actually a time when older adults were accorded a lot of respect. :)</p>

<p>Yes, MomLive. That. I remember the first time I was called ma’am. It was a little shocking and then totally pleasing. Rather than thinking, “AAck! I’m old” I thought “I’m of a stature that I qualify for this kind of respect.” I guess it’s a matter of outlook.</p>

<p>Don’t even get me going on 7yos who call me by my first name.</p>

<p>

Perhaps I’m reading this differently than the way it was intended, but you make it sound like our use of manners (because that’s what we think it is here in the south) is a disease that can’t be helped. I truly am sorry if folks visiting the south are offended at “ma’am” and “sir” because we intend it as a sign of respect. When DD recently made the 20-hour drive to start grad school in Boston, she said she was made aware that she was different when she asked, “Excuse me, sir, do y’all have a restroom I can use” when making a stop in Pennsylvania. I’m sure it was the “y’all” that gave him pause. When I’m up north visiting my husband’s extended family, I notice the regional differences, but they certainly don’t offend me. I get lumped in with “you guys” even though I’m not a male, but I know that’s the way they often address people. I just find it kind of cool that we all speak differently. Life is good … don’t sweat the small stuff!</p>

<p>When I was young, the southern accent and manners went a long way in every part of the country. the northern girls loved it and their parents did too. i live in mississippi and always have. i attended a school a couple of hours from chicago in HS</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>when I was growing up there was no place considered more Northern than “any part of” Ohio. Philly is definitely not a southern city. Missouri is not Southern either. I like those places but I’m not sure you have a grasp on the Southern way of things. LOL</p>

<p>Splashmom: my father considered Missouri to be part of the south (slavery was legal there); I’ll note that he told me many years ago that he worked long and hard to rid his speech of the southern accent and his habit of saying sir and ma’am to everyone. (More on that in a moment.) He was also raised as a Southern Baptist. All of these things were left behind when he went to college in 1925; my father was born 103 years ago. I realize Missouri is not considered part of the south now, but a quick look at any map will show you that it isn’t far from it. (I’ll mention that my father struggled hard to not appear to be a midwesterner, either. At that time, southerners and midwesterners were considered hicks by New Yorkers (where he ended up). Who knows what they thought of Californians?)</p>

<p>SplashMom: I apologize for the words “verbal tic”. Perhaps “verbal habit” would be more appropriate. The people I know who use “yes, ma’am” here in the Pacific Northwest were all raised in the south and definitely say “yes, ma’am” in the same way I say “of course.”</p>

<p>I also agree with many posters that regional differences in speech and culture should be treasured. With so much of America becoming one giant sprawl of Costcos and Starbucks, it’s nice to know that there are differences in regions of the country and that we’re not completely homogenized…yet.</p>

<p>My D, born and raised in Texas, is enjoying being a “fish out of water” at school in DC. Her accent has even mysteriously thickened, along with her use of “y’all” and “fixin’ to”.</p>

<p>I think regional accents are fascinating. Has anyone read anything of William Labov’s? He’s apparently “the” expert on this topic. Having moved away from the Northeast as a teenager, I have a mix of Philly and midwestern, and I wonder if a linguist would be able to pick up the influences. Everyone laughs at me for saying “wooder” for water :-)</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>i dated a girl from Nebraska who never could understand why i said “cut the light off” rather than “turn the light off”. Admittedly, i did not have a good answer. LOL</p>

<p>Yes ma’am, no ma’am. Grew up with it totally.
Two important scenarios-- 1) age of your elders–a simple sign of respect and expected by those much older than you. (By my age this was usually parent’s friends or elderly relatives).
2) You have orders to follow and did you understand? Yes, ma’am. We used this even in the workplace (we also used “Make it so” akin to Captain Picard on Star Trek.)
I think simple respect beats “yeah, yeah, whatever” any day.</p>

<p>We moved from NJ to TN when D1 was in 6th grade & D2 was in 3rd. D2 picked up the “yes, ma’am” and “no, sir” expressions while D1 didn’t. I was VERY aware when we were moving that manners, especially in children, were very important and I made sure that my girls knew that. They were very polite, but I didn’t know if “NJ polite” would cut it down here ;)</p>

<p>I LOVE when my kids friends “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” me! Sarcasm is my native tongue and I’ve never detected a hint of sarcasm from those kids.</p>