<p>So, what about ‘daddy’ used by an adult woman for her partner or spouse?</p>
<p>As Johnny Cash sings it "I thought I was her daddy but she had five more’.</p>
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<p>Nothing grates on me more than being called “Darling” “Sweetie” “Honey” or “Dear” by a complete stranger. It’s just too familiar, IMO.</p>
<p>I recently had dinner at a very expensive restaurant where the waitress called me “Baby girl.” I thought it was hilarious. I am 50 years old.</p>
<p>It is better than being assumed to be racist.</p>
<p>This thread is fascinating.</p>
<p>I was born and raised in San Francisco, but I identify with pretty much all of what Pizzagirl said. I would never, ever use “sir” or “ma’am” unless I was speaking to a stranger with whom I had absolutely no connection - as in, “Excuse me, Sir, but do you have the time?”. </p>
<p>Saying “sir” or “ma’am” to someone I knew, no matter what his or her position might be (teacher, parent, relative, boss, etc.) could very likely be perceived as mockery where I’m from. As Pizzagirl explained, it would seem terribly impolite to me to refer to anyone other than a complete and total stranger as sir or ma’am. </p>
<p>I don’t have any problem with Southerners or anyone else using these terms, but I do admit that I would be very uncomfortable were I suddenly in a situation where I was expected to use them, just as I imagine others might be in a situation where these terms were suddenly taboo!</p>
<p>I love the yes ma’m/no ma’m kids. My kids are kinda hit & miss with it. I am hopeful that they are more careful to use it with other adults and just slip up at home. It’s SUCH a refreshing change from the yeah/nope I get from some of their friends. I do remember feeling old the first time someone said it to me, but now I AM old, so I just enjoy it. I never used it in the workplace mainly because I heard a secretary chew out a young engineer who had the “nerve” to call her ma’m at my first job, but I certainly still say it when I go back home to my family in Louisiana.</p>
<p>It gives me the same happy feeling as when someone replies to a “thank you” with “my pleasure”.</p>
<p>I was raised in the north then went to grad school in the south- i also felt very offended the first few times i was called ‘ma’m’ thinking now what did i do to deserve that? then it struck me that they were being polite. i am sure i seemed rude to them but i never adopted their way. it just seemed so unnatural to me.</p>
<p>“Nothing grates on me more than being called “Darling” “Sweetie” “Honey” or “Dear” by a complete stranger. It’s just too familiar, IMO.”</p>
<p>And it’s fake! I’m not your sweetie or honey - don’t pretend that you really care about me when all you know about me is that I ordered the blueberry pancakes.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, you just don’t get it. It’s not fake and they aren’t pretending to care about you. It’s just a difference in the expressions used in the South vs. the North.</p>
<p>I understand, pats mom. IRL, I wouldn’t give any of this much thought.</p>
<p>That’s ok, honey-- don’t pay it no nevermind ;)</p>
<p>Bless your heart, Jym :)</p>
<p>In every country there are traditions/ceremony that are unique to different regions. It gives citizens a sense of identity and generally makes the world a more interesting place.</p>
<p>Y’all come see us sometime:)</p>
<p>Well shucks, ma’am…</p>
<p>(was responding to patsmom, but applies to packmom too…)</p>
<p>Okay, I was raised by a sort-of-southerner (my father, from Missouri) and a northerner (my mother, from Ohio) in Philadelphia (a sort of southern city). I am now 56. I say “Excuse me, ma’am” or “Excuse me, miss” (depending on the age) or “Excuse me, sir” when I want to ask a stranger for something. I say “yes, SIR!” when I want to say “I heard you but don’t order me around” without being too sarcastic. </p>
<p>However, I dislike being addressed as “ma’am” or “miss” myself because it makes me realize that the person is trying to decide which is appropriate, based on my age. I’d rather not think about my age. I realize this is hypocritical, since I make this distinction myself.</p>
<p>I have resigned myself to the many people who are southern calling me “ma’am” and I find it less offensive if there’s a southern accent behind it. I realize it’s a verbal tic and they can’t help it.</p>
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When I grew up in the North, we called people (usually people we knew) “you guys” even if they were not guys.</p>
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<p>Sure it is. “Please” and “thank you” are universally appropriate. “Yes ma’am” and “no sir” are more age- and situation-specific. Even where widely used, they usually are expected (or insisted upon) only when children are addressing adults. To my Yankee ears it suggests not only distance between strangers (as Pizzagirl astutely observes), but also, when used by children repeatedly, passivity and subservience (if not sarcasm). Those are not qualities I value too much in my kids or anyone else’s.</p>
<p>Recently, my household water conditioning system was overhauled by one of the smartest, most competent tradesmen I’ve ever met. He understood plumbing. He understood water chemistry. He approached the job thoughtfully and thoroughly. He charged fairly. However, every time I asked him a yes or no question about how the system worked, he responded with “yes sir” and “no sir”. This guy was an expert in his field and nearly my age! After the first couple of times, it sounded very awkward to my ears. </p>
<p>Then again, maybe he was annoyed by my pesky questions and just wanted to be left alone to do his work. He was “distancing”. Fair enough. I still liked the guy and would hire him back.</p>
<p>New favorite expression - my sister has a coworker from the south who uses the expression “too much sugar for my dime,” which implies that someone poured it on a bit too thick. Had never heard that one before!</p>
<p>That’s a nice phrase (from an album cover, IIRC). Better than calling someone a 10 lb bag of sugar in a 5 lb sack :)</p>
<p>“my Yankee ears it suggests not only distance between strangers (as Pizzagirl astutely observes), but also, when used by children repeatedly, passivity and subservience (if not sarcasm). Those are not qualities I value too much in my kids or anyone else’s.”</p>
<p>Which gets back to the whole “are we out of toilet paper” scenario. To my northern ears, if I’m asking my kid a question, I don’t need to be reminded that I’m the “superior,” so to speak. I just wanted to know if we were out of something. Therefore, I don’t see anything wrong with “Yes” or “Yes, Mom.” Perhaps it’s just more egalitarian, I don’t know.</p>
<p>Wow, some of y’all are just wound way too tight. I’m sorry that the Southern way doesn’t conform to the Northern – and, therefore, presumed correct – way of things, but I suspect you’ll survive.</p>
<p>Bless your hearts, it’s not that big a deal.</p>