<p>“In other words, he disagrees with our approach of letting him learn classical music only when he grew up.”</p>
<p>What motivated you to having this approach, as opposed to an approach where he learned classical music but was also exposed to pop/rock/the music his peers listened to?</p>
<p>It strikes me in all of your postings that you like to have a clear path laid out for you, as opposed to the ability to explore multiple paths at once. Is that something that is true for you?</p>
<p>Honestly speaking, when we took him to private music lessons, the main motivation was to give him an opportunity to be exposed to English. A lot of things that English-speaking family takes for granted (like picking up English language from parents) could be something we as new immigrant family need to work hard to get it - We even “hired” his preschool classmate’s mom, older sister, etc., to be his “babysitter” in order to ready him for the grade school. Learning music was not our original motivation as we had a more major concern at that time.</p>
<p>We learned last night her GF and her parents will visit the country (for touring purpose) we came from. Wonder whether it is her idea or her parents’ idea but this is their spontaneous decision to add this tour. She could be his tour guide next time, should they tour that place. LOL. (He could not remember that he has ever been there - when we took him there, only once in his life time, he was 2 yo.)</p>
<p>I actually do not have any idea about the paths as mentioned above. Actually, even no clear question.</p>
<p>“She could be his tour guide next time, should they tour that place. LOL.”</p>
<p>That is funny, Mcat.</p>
<p>@Deborah, And if this tour guide needs a translator, he could become handy.</p>
<p>Not sure which one knows more about the signs that is not written in English though. I know my S is totally handicapped in that. Maybe the tour guide can help him with that. (I heard she took more foreign credits for that language than DS - not sure in her high school or in her college.)</p>
<p>Anyway, this “tour guide” and this tourist could complement each other and teamwork to get this touring job done :)</p>
<p>Seriously though, since my S does not have a means to communicate with her parents without her help, I encourage him to learn a little bit more about the culture and customs of her parents, as a little bit knowledge there could help him. Guess what, a typical reaction from a child to his parents: He does not think so because she is quite americanized. He even ignored the part: “her parents” are the subjects I am talking about here. He will learn a lesson in the future in other way on the rocky road ahead, in the opinion of this overly concerned parent. It it fruitless to nag him about this.</p>
<p>“We learned last night her GF and her parents will visit the country (for touring purpose) we came from. Wonder whether it is her idea or her parents’ idea but this is their spontaneous decision to add this tour.”</p>
<p>I think this is what we mean by overthinking. It doesn’t really matter whether it was her idea or her parents’ idea to visit the country you came from. It’s some other family’s vacation / touring decision; there doesn’t need to be any bigger meaning behind it. It is not something you need to spend time “wondering” about.</p>
<p>Your English is very good, by the way. I cannot imagine how difficult it is to come to a new country and have to learn all that you have. You should be very proud of yourself and your son’s successes. </p>
<p>Thanks! I came to this country at 30 yo and really appreciate that this country gives me this opportunity.</p>
<p>I’d be curious about the exact same thing as Mcat. Taking a trip to another country is no small matter, lol. If this portion of a trip is 95% related to the relationship between Mcat’s son and the young woman, of course I’d want to know whose idea it is! And if it’s the parents’ idea, not the daughter’s, how does she feel about it? That is a fascinating turn of events, Mcat. I guess as parents we strap in and go for the ride as our children grow up. :)</p>
<p>I heard her parents “met” him on FaceBook video chat (but likely just say “hi” due to the apparent reason) in the past.</p>
<p>DS keeps saying she is more a Canadian. But the fact that she is currently not in Canada (and likely most winter breaks in her life.) tells me that she is still quite immersed in her parents’ culture (likely more so than DS in our original culture.)</p>
<p>Her elder brother living in Canada does not travel back for holiday and DS heard from her that her parents “were upset.” I guess her GF is still the little “princess” of her parents who likes to be with her parents for holiday (hopefully she will stay the same in the future after she is married, with DS or not.)</p>
<p>Her elder brother was dating somebody in our ethnic group and was not successful in the end. Do not know the exact reason. What a drama!</p>
<p>Isn’t there a recent thread about where to stay for Christmas holiday for adult children who have been married and may have had their own family with young kids?</p>
<p>“Her elder brother was dating somebody in our ethnic group and was not successful in the end. Do not know the exact reason. What a drama!”</p>
<p>Is that really a drama, though? People date and break up all the time. </p>
<p>The breakup might happen 10-15 years ago when her family was living in Canada and her elder brother was in the marriage/dating age. (Her brother is much older than her and she was not the result of an “unplanned birth” though - her parents really wished for a daughter after two sons, according to her.) It seems his then-GF’s family/parents intervened and broke them up, if I remember what DS told us correctly. But I am not 100% sure – only sure about the breakup part.</p>
<p>If it were his elder brother’s side which intervened, it would be more ironic. This is because there is an ongoing MIL-DIL conflict between her elder brother’s family (already having young kids) and the elder brother’s parents, even though the DIL was sopposedly the “blessed-by-the-parents” one back then.</p>
<p>DS’s GF told him that her elder brother always takes the side of his wife, not his own mother’s side in the inlaw conflict. My wife’s reaction to this? She thinks her eldest brother, most likely than not, does the right thing. It is easier to say so if a person is not in the middle of it though. My wife also advises our S to stay out of her family’s “internal matters.” It is not proper for him to express his opinion. Depending on the stage of the relationshop between DS and his GF, it may be somewhat surprising that she would let DS know so much about this. In DS’s opinion, she is a very “level headed” young lady (definitely not enjoying gossip especially about her own beloved family), and she is much more level-headed than her own mother. (DS also thinks his GF is smarter and “more organized about the life” than him, for some reason unkown to us.)</p>
<p>@Deborah, Your previous post reminds me of this: Before their holiday break, DS once mentioned briefly to us that his GF actually “encourages” him to visit her parents. It seems she might be OK with the idea of having him accompany her to her home during this holiday. He was more tied up by the school’s activities than her right now so he hesitated to take a longer break. Actually, recently, they were talking about another trip in the early spring to another country (do not know which one) but DS said if the time off is not long enough, maybe let’s just travel within US - or maybe to Canada because it is a short hop. I could feel that DS has more pressure than her to do work for his more demanding research group leader in his “research year.”</p>
<p>BTW, for tourists between her “original” country and my “original” country (and also US or Canada), there is no visa requirement to have a short vacation trip. So it is easy to go from one country to another country among these 4 countries for the touring purpose.</p>
<p>mcat2, your son is over 21. The information you posted here should be private between your son and his GF. It’s really none of your business. Is the information volunteered by your son or after a grilling session? You had said your son didn’t talk to you much, but this is not the case here.
If I were the GF, I would be very upset that a BF would disclose her family dynamics to his father and then his father would post this online.</p>
<p>Change can be both scary and exciting. There are always so many unknowns, but the future greets us ready or not. You’ve adapted before and you’ll do it again, Mcat. Best to you and your family.</p>
<p>Your advice is sound. I should not talk too much online (That was why I originally indicated that I just want to know how the next generation may know or not know about handbags IN GENERAL.)</p>
<p>He indeed did not talk to me much but he had no problem in talking to his mother while I am around. We live in the same hotel room for almost a week in the past week and were together 24 hours a day everyday, so I know (maybe more than I need to know.) There is zero grill session, BTW. when the mother and the son are as close as they are, there is no need for any grill session.</p>
<p>I will “keep my mouth shut” regarding this matter from now on. Thanks!</p>
<p>It may be much more useful for me to “help” with his iPhone problem as this is a request from him to me directly. He would appreciate my spending time on that front.</p>
<p>“Also in the South, a woman’s handbag is sacred - not to be opened w/o permission! That may be ‘old South’, but I like the concept.”</p>
<p>@SOSconcern - Yes! If I ask my H to get something out of my purse, he brings me the purse. He absolutely won’t reach into my purse. He is definitely “old South.” He never sits until all ladies are seated, still opens my car door, etc.</p>
<p>I am not old south but I like that! </p>
<p>Knowing about and lusting after designer bags is actually sort of a hobby, IMO. It’s not my thing but it’s very fun and important to some women.</p>
<p>Not southern, but DH will never open my bag. My day-to-day bag is a Kipling. DH got me a red leather bag on a trip to France a few years ago. Has a La Baggagerie tag. </p>
<p>DIL doesn’t buy name bags though these days she could certainly afford one. We had a chat about bags, and her feeling is that a purse is a rather intimate purchase and would not want to get one as a gift. S1 wouldn’t know where to begin. I also took note! ;)</p>
<p>She did just buy a Victorinox wheeled suitcase and DH was shocked (even though she got a great deal on ebags). She loves it and it works for her. Hurray! </p>
<p>Both of my Ds like designer bags. They started with Coach in HS, then Kate Spade and Longchamp totes in college. Vera isn’t as popular around here and they were never LV fans. Now they look for craftsmanship and style rather than name. They still keep their old bags in their dust bags hoping their “vintage” bags will become in vogue again! 
D2 dreams of finding a classic black Chanel bag but would never buy a new one. D1 has carried a classic leather Coach tote to work for the past 5 years and it looks brand new. Both of the girls differentiate between work totes and real life bags. Both are very careful not to have super high end bags at work. I have been searching for a new handbag for over a year. I am very picky! Has to be buttery soft, compartments inside and have a crossbody strap to use when shopping. Still on the hunt! ;)</p>
<p>It seems many women are fond of their bags! It is understandable that some may like them.</p>