<p>Apropos of designer brands, my D has a down ski jacket that is Burberry - it was actually a hand-me-down from my SIL who was moving to Florida, didn’t need it and gave it to her. It is cream on the outside but has the signature plaid as the lining. She prefers to wear her North Face coat on campus because she doesn’t want to be seen as “that girl.” So be it, that’s her call. Though I note that she did hijack my Burberry thin quilted jacket a few years ago and I haven’t seen it since :-)</p>
<p>PG, my post wasn’t really about handbags or cars or other material goods but rather the way I occasionally see the concept of “gaps” taken as a given. My post was more a metaphor. Perhaps a bit off topic, but it is CC, lol.</p>
<p>Jay Cutler is a household name here! I have a lot of friends who mention him in their prayers every night- as in “Please come to the Tennessee Titans”, but that isn’t going to happen.</p>
<p>I have huge gaps in my knowledge of politics. I try to know enough so that I can participate in conversations if I have to. I think in this day and age, due to social media and media in general, we are exposed to a lot more things than in the “old days” and the “I grew up in the boonies and no one cared about designer things so I never heard of Louis Vuitton” doesn’t hold as much. It’s not about LIKING designer purses, expensive cars or iPhones, it’s about at least knowing what someone is talking about- and my read is that many, many more people are aware of things they might not have heard of in the past.</p>
<p>PG, Happy post-birthday.</p>
<p>I do not think we have a fear of being judged. We are however interested in knowing the likes and dislikes of our child’s generation.</p>
<p>Re: baggy clothing vs tight/snuggle clothing, I remember when our child was young and was living with us, we bought baggy pants with well too many pockets. I guess in those years, loose and baggy things were “in” but tight things were “out”.</p>
<p>Also, when we were still buying things for our child (we have almost stop doing these any more today, maybe with the exception of computers or computer-like gadgets), we had to know this. If we bought something (especially clothing) that is not “in”, it might just waste our money when he would not wear it. But since we do not have a daughter, we paid very little attention to the likes and dislikes of girls at various age.</p>
<p>A wallet can be very expensive. I wouldn’t assume wallet is an inexpensive present. I think wallet is a very intimid present from a woman to man because most men only has one wallet and it is something he would carry everyday. </p>
<p>The wallet gift DS received was a small J Crew one. He told us he thinks it costs $40. His old one had been quite worn so she might have noticed it (I guess they were out together a lot by now - considering the frequencies of their contacts while he is home for holiday now.)</p>
<p>I think it can be hard for women to come up with ideas of what to give men for gifts. A wallet is a very normal gift because it’s something a woman can come up with that she thinks a guy might like. :)</p>
<p>I agree; a wallet is a nice “safe” gift.</p>
<p>MCat, I think what I keep reacting to is how you keep talking about “your child’s generation.” There is no one uniform set of likes / dislikes in any generation - whether it’s designer vs plain handbags, tight vs fitted clothing, etc. All that matters is the preferences of the person in general. </p>
<p>It’s rather like saying “what music does the young generation prefer”? Well, I can find college students who like hip-hop, rap, classical, jazz, country, classic rock, oldies and those (like my kids) who just aren’t into music at all. Asking about the preferences of a “generation” just isn’t useful. Romanigypsyeyes wouldn’t know a designer handbag if she tripped over it; oldfort’s daughters have a small collection. They are of the same generation, but were raised completely differently. </p>
<p>It’s likevasking what folks of us parents’ generation like or dislike, prefer or not. As this thread clearly shows there is a huge variety of opinions, which is why all the various manufacturers stay in business. </p>
<p>I’d suggest you take it slow and just observe the variety of what different people of various ages like. Also don’t worry about your S; his relationship will develop (or not) over time. Fretting about it is NOT helpful. </p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>Lately, I kept thinking I may even not be very familiar with my own child’s thought process and “value” system due to a different growing-up environment. There is something called individualism that is highly valued and nurtured in the culture in which he grew up with, but there is another thing called collectivism that might be more emphasized and nurtured in the environment I grew up with. If we are unable to compromise and “meet in the middle”, one side has to go an extra mile in order to meet the other side, otherwise it could result in some misunderstanding in the best and outright conflict in the worst.</p>
<p>This could apply to the relationship between the parents and their own child. It may be even more crucial if the relationship is between parents-in-law/son-or-daughter-in-law, as the maintaining of the latter relationship lacks the long-time living-fighting-with-each-other experience to fall back on.</p>
<p>On a lighter note, we went to the Hollywood area again today (since our hop-on-hop-off tickets are for two days.) We noticed the malls in the southern California tend to have a large open space where there is no roof in the center of mall. This is the case for both the mall on the Hollywood blvd near the Chinese Theatre and the mall called Santa Monica Place (which is close to the Santa Monica beach.)</p>
<p>Due to the holiday hours, there is no tour bus that goes to the Santa Monica beach from Hollywood after 3 pm. We ended up hail a cab to take us from the Hollywood Chinese Theatre area. We thought of relying on city bus service to get back to Santa Monica beach area at first but shot down the idea due to some lingering safety concern (especially when my iPhone’s battery almost ran out of its juice.)</p>
<p>My wife suggested we took this vacation with our child (who happened to come to this city for some 1-day test.) She somehow thought after this vacation, it will be a very long time before just three of us (and nobody else with us) may take vacation together again (if ever). So she suggested we should jump on this opportunity.</p>
<p>mcat, please just relax. You seem to overthink a lot of things. </p>
<p>My partner’s parents and mine had their first extended, relatively alone (just the six of us) get together today- after four years of us dating and them meeting well over a dozen times. Our parents could not be more different. My parents are very liberal atheists- dad essentially raised himself and mom was a European immigrant- neither of whom are especially close to siblings. His parents are very conservative Catholics from multiple generations of Americans and very large, close-knit families. </p>
<p>But you know what? Everything went fine. Why? Because people are generally civil and they are united by their kids (for better or worse). They don’t meet very often. They have no reason to be friends outside of our gettogethers (and they’re not). </p>
<p>As for meeting in the middle (or whatever), I can’t think of a single thing that they would ever need to compromise on each other with. My partner and I are doing the wedding stuff and they are simply helping where they can. They’ve made (really) no demands (with the exception of being in a Church, his parents, to which we said “no” and left it at that). </p>
<p>It sounds like the issues are much more between you and your child rather than your child’s SO and her parents. </p>
<p>Please, just take deep breaths and stop over-thinking. Whatever happens, happens. My MIL NEVER would’ve thought that her precious Catholic baby boy would end up with an outspoken queer feminist atheist and look at where we are now. She tries to accept me and we meet in the middle (when possible) and let the things that divide us mostly fall away or avoid the topics. She knows her son loves me and that is what matters most to her. </p>
<p>Oh, and fwiw, I can’t tell you the likes or dislikes of my generation (and I’m probably about within a year or two of your son). I can tell you MY likes or dislikes, but trying to figure out Jane Doe’s likes or dislikes isn’t going to tell you a lick about mine. </p>
<p>Coming late to this thread, but my mid- twenty something D1 attended candlelight services tonight carrying an authentic Prada bag and I am pretty sure no one had a clue. Not that they would have been examining. But they are subtle in appearance. Her Prada does not look that much different than a Longchamp leather tote she has. My inexperienced eye? ( Neither were cheap.)</p>
<p>She loved Coach bags in HS and college, but have given them all away. However, she asked me for one of my old leather Coach bags. One of the ones made out of good leather and with no logos. </p>
<p>D2 never really cared about labels and still doesn’t. I am not sure it is about private/public school or age. I think it is more personality as roamingeyes said or implied. </p>
<p>Not to imply D1 is a label lover. Her Prada was a gift. But she did buy herself a Cartier watch. Haha. </p>
<p>Thanks for the input, again.</p>
<p>It is coincident or not: My adult child also said we tend to overthink a lot of things, just recently. Maybe this is just our “personality” which is not easy to change.</p>
<p>Some upside and “downside” of their relationship:</p>
<p>Both attend the same Catholic church now (granted, he originally went to a Protestant church but switched after her “influence” (maybe?)) Her mother is a more devoted Catholic but her father is not so much. We are atheists mostly - but one of us would occasionally read (and try to remember) the Bible. Also, many years ago, all of our family members went to church when our child requested that we went to a church with him, starting late middle school or early high school (since we drove him there anyway.)</p>
<p>He is a 2nd generation, and she is “almost” a second generation.</p>
<p>They rarely have had any arguments as far as he tells us. DS did say that she was once unhappy that he did not spend enough time (or attention) during one break in the past half a year.</p>
<p>The “cultures” between her family and us are close but not the same.</p>
<p>This one could be huge: he (and we also) could only communicate (i.e., have a face-to-face conversation) with her parents with her being a translator. No problem with communicating with her siblings though. He may not know much about her parents’ culture either. It is more like both he and she try to be more Americanized while still keeping a cozy relationship with their respective parents. (This may be what ramoni said "the problem is more between the parents and the child </p>
<p>Does she have or care about having, any handbag with a label? I have no idea but I do not think I need to know.</p>
<p>My name’s not roamingeyes :/</p>
<p>I apologize that I did not type it correctly on my smartphone. I was not in a particularly good position to type it correctly: the screen and keyboard on the phone are too small for my aged eyes and not very steady hand, the battery was very low after a whole day out so I needed to connect it to the charger while using it (and I had to type in this awkward position on a hotel bed.)</p>
<p>But I appreciate your inputs (occasionally a “harsh” albeit sound and badly needed advices :))</p>
<p>Oh…somehow my child thinks she is smarter than him (his comment) and more organized than him - he said almost all of her standardized test scores are about the same as his (his were quite good in most standards here in CC.) But he thought so likely because her “not-so-perfectly-normal” schooling environment as she spent more her life time in Canada than in US.</p>
<p>Oops. Sorry. But I have to admit my mistake made me laugh after I read your response and realized my mistake!!</p>
<p>D1 just gave me a Kate Spade New York bag for Christmas. Haha</p>
<p>While idling without a better thing to do at a hotel waiting for the flight later today, I started to learn from the internet some strange psychological and cultural concept called jeong, which is said to extend the concept of “love” to one not only between people, but also between a person and an object.</p>
<p>Could a designer handbag be this kind of object so that a person could establish a bond to it? In a culture that has more of the jeong valued in their society, is it possible that if one member (esp. a more respected member) in a group likes a particular kind of object (e.g., designer bag or dress), more members in the same group may more likely develop the “I want it too” mentality in order to get the feeling of “I am a part of the group”? Is jeong just a plain “peer pressure” sugar-coated with a more “noble” word? Is it why these expensive items are sold so well in the more developed, wealthier areas in Asian where individualism and personal fulfullment as a person’s goal in his/her life has not been very well developed yet?</p>
<p>I learn this from this link:
<a href=“http://www.prcp.org/publications/sig.pdf”>http://www.prcp.org/publications/sig.pdf</a></p>
<p>I am curious about this: Why perfectly sane people could develop such a strong like toward a simple object like a handbag? Using a $3000 handbag to hold and protect something which could be much cheaper than the container just does not make much sense to me. (I do not want to label such people as being shallow or being social status conscious, because I think there may be more into this affection toward an object. BTW, since this is CC: may we say the same thing happened for people valuing a prestigious college degree in their lives?)</p>
<p>Pizzagirl: Happiest of Happy Birthdays!</p>
<p>Mulling over this thread again…my disconnect is that it is “good” to be non label loving. If one covets a certain brand name purse (or shoes or dresses) it is bad and shallow. A nice purse does not beget a person with lesser or no values. Label loving signifies a few things: the design is good/bad…too heavy…not big enough for function. Expensive and label loving (perhaps because of fit) makes you shallow. It doesn’t. I wear St. John pants because they fit. They last forever…and they FIT. This doesn’t signify anything to me…except they fit and I can sit down without the coin slot. </p>
<p>I will grant you that some people (on both sides of the aisle) don’t understand labels or the decision to shop at Goodwill. If a parent or friend or young person rejects someone for either infringement…I am sorry for you. You will miss a lot.</p>
<p>I agree it is helpful when you discover the designer thatgets your body type/ feet.
Until they change the materials/ manufacturing process.
I used to love a certain style of GAP & Calvin Klien jeans for instance.
Then they changed.
I also liked the very first perfume Calvin Klein put out. It was called “Calvin Klein”.
They haven’t made THAT for years.
:(</p>
<p>I do find that it is easier to find a pair of New Balance running shoes that fit my feet better, without too much efforts in searching high and low, even though “New Balance” shoes tend to be not the cheapest one. I do value quality (and sometimes just its varieties of sizes). That is, I do not shop everything from Walmart.</p>