<p>I had a bit of indigestion Sunday morning as I was reading our local rag and ran across a story about a local family in the suburb that I live in where the mother threw a big bash birthday party for her 15-year-old daughter. The story goes on to tell all the expensive things that were provided (name recognized musical artists, etc.) and ended up with the presentation of a new BMW Z4 convertible that had to be shipped across country because the local dealers in the region didn’t have that color. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, this is her 15th birthday, so she can’t even drive it yet!</p>
<p>They talk about how the family got the idea from watching that MTV show about these “over the top” parties.</p>
<p>Hello? I guess if you’ve got money, you don’t need any sense to follow the other fools.</p>
<p>I just find it embarassing to say I live in this particular suburb and strangely enough happy that neither of my children attend any of the schools where these kids go.</p>
<p>It doesn’t bother me. I’m thrilled, personally, that someone has the resources to be spending that much on a birthday party, and I’m too busy working so that I, too, can afford to buy very expensive cars for inane reasons, to be worried or even thinking about what other people are doing. </p>
<p>Having said that, even if I had that much money, I would NEVER provide for such a lavish birthday party, and doubt I would contribute that much even for a wedding. It doesn’t work with my philosophy on what my child should be given, and with how I think money should be spent. But if other people think it’s a good idea, and they have the money, if that’s what they want to do, great. It’s their business.</p>
<p>Well, they do bother me as well as amuse me. I guess folks can spend their big bucks (or go into their big debt) on whatever they want. But, jeez, priorities? values?</p>
<p>I hope these parents will not be complaining when Failure to Launch time comes and their kid lands back home after college because “everything is so expensive kids just can’t make it on their own on starting salaries these days.”
… Well, yes. If they think they need to start out with a BMW sports car, the attendant insurance, an apartment to match (did I say <em>apartment</em>?!?!! - I’m sure this kid will need a townhouse or urban-chic loft) , etc. etc.</p>
<p>Living in a similar community, I’ve become inured to the excesses of brand new expensive cars as presents for teenagers, frequent trips to exotic vacation spots, etc. But what does get my goat is the kids are being indoctrinated into the belief that they have to follow suit. </p>
<p>For example, the mandate that asking a girl or boy to a dance or prom has to be a production worthy of Cecil B. DeMille. I heard a mom complaining the other day that her daughter’s beau “only” scattered a couple dozen roses around her house and delivered the dance invite in a balloon-festooned basket full of candy. Tsk tsk. Soooo substandard! I asked my wife about it and she patiently explained that this was de riguer. Among the Must-dos and Must-not-dos:</p>
<p>MUST purchase retail items to accompany invitation
MUST extend invite in person
MUST clear invite with all of invitee’s friends first.</p>
<p>MUST NOT extend invite by phone
MUST NOT simply ask if they’s like to accompany you to dance/prom.
MUST NOT invite anyone that anyone else in your group has declared is “mine”</p>
<p>kluge - Sheesh. Who the heck starts these “traditions?” Methinks it was not a group of guys hanging out in one of their rec rooms one evening. “Hey, I really want to do something <em>SPECIAL</em> when I invite Esmerelda to the prom. What do you guys think - should I make a path of rose petals up to her door?”</p>
<p>Yes, v. bad taste. Kids will be subsidized by parents throughout their lives, or, in the alternative, will be given extremely expensive educations to allow them to make a lot of money. Daddy will talk to friends on Wall Street so kids can get a fancy job.</p>
<p>I do worry about what the parents are teaching their kids. My 18th b-day was lavish by many standards - the traditional present in the Athena household is diamond earrings for the girls from grandparents. New tradition is that kid gets dinner with 3 friends and a limo for a few hours. (Dinner, from what I remember, was $75 for the four of us.) Tons of fun - some time with the girlfriends to play around town, get dressed up, and have a fun meal. (Mine was at the Rainforest Cafe!) </p>
<p>No Z4s. No cars. Never got invited to the prom, let alone via roses. ;)</p>
<p>My only teen birthday I had any sort of do for was my 17th. Meal at my favourite restaurant with 5 friends and my bf. Went back to mine afterwards and played silly party games and watched films all night. </p>
<p>My eyes hurt from rolling too much at these parties!</p>
<p>Yeah, it bothers me. At that age, if my parents had money like that to part with on behalf, I would have preferred that they donate most of it in my honor (or not in my honor-I would not even care) to a charity. There is too much pain and suffering in this world!</p>
<p>I did not need to worry about it though, b/c they never had it.</p>
<p>LOL, they would never marry my sons, and my sons would never pick out young ladies like this to marry, and I am so happy that I at least I won’t need to worry about that little problem.</p>
<p>Northeastmom, I’m afraid you’re laboring under the common misconception that young men “pick out” the young ladies they will marry. I’m unsure of the actual process (my memory of my own experience in this regard remains somewhat of a fog) but I’m pretty sure nothing along the lines of a rational “choice” was factored into it. :)</p>
<p>Maybe the parents of the teen mentioned in the original post are spending all their money now so that they will qualify for financial aid in a few years. :)</p>