Yes, parents really do know better when they are footing the bill. BTW, University X sounds terrible. We had a couple of nephews go to expensive, private not highly rated schools. They ended up with a lot of debt and friends from college who were in the same boat and not a solid alumni network. College isn’t about the social scene alone. It is mainly about getting a solid education and being able to go from there.
Do you have a major for which graduate school is likely? Our daughter who is studying “slightly abroad” in Canada will have money left in her 529 when she graduates, and we are letting her keep this money for graduate school.
I am torn about this…I’m not sure your parents necessarily “know better”, but, I do believe they have a major say based on the fact they are paying.
What is it you don’t like about the school they prefer? Is it the distance? What about that makes you nervous? Can you express that in a way that they will understand?
While I also believe that time abroad can be really valuable, I absolutely do not think it would have been the best thing for my D right out of high school. As it is, her college is 1000 miles from home, and the distance was a big issue for her when she made her decision. We talked a lot about it, checked out the flight situation, and we budgeted for trips home for breaks and for us to visit her if necessary. She hasn’t come home a lot but I think just knowing it’s a doable 2.5 hour flight has been psychologically helpful for her. But, that’s HER personality. While many of her friends from school have not seen their parents since August, including several international kids, that would have been very difficult on my daughter. I do think she’ll eventually study abroad, and I think she’ll be fine with it, but I don’t think she would have done well being abroad for a long time right out of college. So, I guess my point it, just because they studied abroad for a period of time doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you right now.
As for the college you prefer, I think others have raised some good points. Will going to that school help you reach your goals? Will be be in a significant amount of debt when you graduate? Do you plan to continue on with school after you get your bachelors?
And like the previous poster said, aren’t there any other options for you than what you’ve mentioned? There are a LOT of schools in the US that are good, affordable, and provide a good quality of life. If you give us a bit more information about you (where you live, GPA, ACT, etc) we might be able to help you come up with a list. It’s not too late to apply. Maybe there is a school that is a good comprise between schools X and Y and the “mediocre” in-state schools you mentioned.
Agree that we could help you more if identified the schools.
What do you want to major in? What type of career are you thinking about? What is the US job placement record of college Y?
Only on CC would a ‘around a 100 level’ university be called not highly rated…there are nearly 3,000 4 year colleges in the US. Sheesh.
The money didn’t get into the 529 plan by magic. The fact that it’s there means (probably, absent an inheritance) that your parents had planned and saved ahead, likely sacrificing other expenditures, to have the money in that fund. From my perspective - as a parent who also has fully funded 529s available for my children - yes, that does give them a say over what college the money should be spent on. Does it give them the right to force you into a school you don’t want to go to? No. The only way out of this dilemma seems to be to find other options - I’m also not understanding why there are only two colleges at opposite extremes in this mix.
I am definitely not understanding why a gpa that apparently gets you an expensive, but not fabulously ranked compared to its cost, college or 2 “mediocre” state schools, manages to get you into an international school ranked above some excellent US ones, when most international schools focus much more on gpa than holistic US schools. Something doesn’t sound right to me here. As others have said, maybe a school name will clarify this.
Right now I’d be in the camp of you applying to some more schools RD - I am sure there must be one in the mix that your parents will be happy to pay for and you will be happy to go to.
Hmm…
I prefer not to look at more schools here, since school X is good enough for me. I think I will be happy there.
my question was about only these 2 schools and about My decision vs my parents pressure.
(paying for both is not a burden 529, finding a job is not a problem in both cases, prestige is higher if go to School Y .) I think for me life at school X is better, i know people going there. My parents think school Y abroad is better choice, that it is best time for me to get out and try new things because they were 17 when they did that. (study abroad program at school X is quite weak)
Parents do get a say when they are footing the bill.
FWIW, I would have a hard time paying more money for a lesser academic experience.
What do you mean that school X has “great student life and comfortable living?” If that’s your only criteria, you may need to dig deeper to make a plausible argument to your parents.
What is your intended major? Plans post graduation?
I’m sorry, but just because your parents are able to pay for school X doesn’t mean that they should. They need to consider the value and ROI. In comparing the two schools, if the only pro about school X is that you think student life and facilities are better (those are important considerations but should not be the primary reason to choose a school) while the quality of education is higher and COA is lower at school Y (these should be the most important considerations), I would have to agree with your parents. You have not mentioned what the price difference is - that would be a critical factor.
I understand the curiosity about the schools names. I prefer to keep it private, at least for now. (SMU vs McGill would be kind of similar comparison).
re. low GPA - they looked holistically and didnt care about low grades in US History, theology and electives etc. They really cared about my AP Calc BC AP Stat and related and ACT
I guess my essay was good and/or i just got lucky.
PS. my parents are not refusing to pay for school X. they just are trying to convince me to choose Y, because for them it is “no brainer”.
If it was SMU vs. McGill, I’d back your parents every day of the week. Better school, better rep, much cheaper.
Oof, I’m not sure how I feel about all the “well, they are paying” comments when we’re talking about a kid who wants to stay in his or her own country for college, as if that’s so unusual. I’ll pay but you have to go to France (or wherever) over a RIT or TCU?
Would they and you be up for a gap year somewhere abroad if you can find a cheap/free option? Would that satisfy their need for you to try new things?
The cost difference is 30-35k (depends on living arrangements)
$30-35K per year? Needless to say, that’s a heck of a lot of money!
Is “abroad” really far away? Like, not Canada? That’s a factor for sure, leaving home for college is stressful but to also be leaving my country to go study in a foreign language - or even just a foreign country - is a pretty big step.
That’s a big difference. Do you think you might want to attend graduate school? If so there might be a trade off if you parents might agree to putting some of that toward helping you with grad school.
I’d be a little concerned about this. College is tough enough without the added challenge of taking classes in a language in which you’re not already fluent.
Are your parents US taxpayers? If not, are you sure it is a 529 plan, which is a US tax savings plan?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to go to school in the US just because you see it as more fun than going to the cheaper school where you live. There is also nothing wrong with your parents saying they want to save money by having you go to a cheaper school for at least a year until you know what you want. Problem you have is parents control the money.
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What is your intended major? Plans post graduation?
I am wondering if it is “Cheating” and/or in general “Bad Idea”:
- I got accepted into school X here AND school Y abroad.
- I would like to defer school X 1 year as a gap year and to spend this year at school Y abroad, learning language and other subjects, exploring culture.
- I will come back to school X after one year, PROBABLY without mentioning I was enrolled in school Y abroad (my credits most likely wont be transferred anyway, since they are not General education courses)
also, - After year abroad i might decide I dont like school X that much, i withdraw from school X and apply to school Z here - as a freshman or transfer. I probably wont mentioned to school Z about my “betrayal” of school X. (-?!)
How does it sound? Dishonest?
I really feel uneasy about both scenarios, although it might be “legit” and common practice, i just dont know.
My goal is - to spend invaluable year abroad studying and come back.
Thank you
v
MODERATOR’S NOTE: I merged the user’s two threads.
Studies are in English.
529 is not covering foreign school. so penalty and taxes will be difference of 25k yearly