I got accepted into very expensive private university X in the US (rankings: around 1 hundred level) - decent edu, not that prestigious, great student life, comfortable living.
It is my 1st choice, but not a dream school - it is one of the best I can get due to my GPA.
I got also accepted into one of the top university Y abroad. (ranking: above UCLA, Berkeley, U of Chi, a bit lower than Harvard and Stanford). Much cheaper than school X. Great city, foreign language. Student life is unknown. Sport activities are not that popular , like in the US.
This school Y is my parents top choice. Their reason: 1. they and their siblings spent a year as exchange students in HS abroad and they all consider that year the most valuable year in their life - lifelong friends, personal growth/independence , worldwide view etc. 2. Fun year as well. 3. learned foreign language fluently. 4. Y is a cheaper school, save money. 5 travel with peers. 6. Do it at least 1 year and if miserable, reapply/transfer to a (better?)US school next year. Or stay put for 4 years. (7. also, they dont do General Ed there, but dive into math/my major classes right away. I am good at math (ACT34), so there is big chance I will succeed there)
I am torn. I have lived in my house since I was born.
Nobody I know from my school and my town went to school abroad. My friends cant give me any advice. They are a bit puzzled by my parents’ position/point of view. They probably think it is not a good idea.
Sorry, but you did ask. It sounds confused, uncomitted, and unaware of policies and possible retributions. It sounds distanced.
If you just got acepted and the ink is still wet, so to say, why mess with this? You either want this school or you punt. A gap is legit, where allowed. And how allowed. But why these convolutions? Doesn’t sound like the best thinking.
There is actually a business called the National College Clearinghouse that checks up on students on behalf of colleges. They make sure students are reporting their previous history honestly. As important as the academic record is the financial: they want to make sure students aren’t stiffing debts owed to one college and moving on to attend another. They do service international institutions, but the coverage is not to the same extent.
So yes, it is a big risk, one that will highly likely come back to bite you, especially between X and Z. Just attend X and do an ordinary semester abroad as soon as you legitimately can work one out with X.
From what i have read here, colleges dont want you to enroll to another college degree program, in general. I am pretty sure, that foreign college Y also wouldn’t be happy if they knew i am there just for 1 year, while being deferred by college X in the US.
Accept school X.
Ask school X for an official deferred enrollment to the following Fall, while fully informing them of your plans during the Gap year; to go abroad and take language and cultural enrichment classes at school Y, with no intention of receiving college credits. Then do it - as long as you really do have the intention of returning to matriculate the following Fall.
Should you change your mind about your educational path while taking classes at school Y, you would let school X know as soon as possible and officially withdraw.
School administrations are well aware that when a student petitions for a Gap year deferral, that there’s always a chance that there will be a change of plan/change of heart. People grow and change at age 18. That’s often what gap years are used for.
So if school X grants you the deferral (be aware that not all schools do), it’s likely with the full knowledge that there’s a chance that you will withdraw.
Bigger question…who’s paying for school X,Y, or Z? And is parent A and parent B agreed on shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars on said overly-complicated X, Y, and Z plan that could financially backfire on them? If I were your parent, I would give you a big N…O.
Here’s a better idea. Pick a good school you can afford and go there for 4 years, then enter the workforce as an educated skilled professional.
Rather than decline school X, I would first call admissions there and ask them what you can or cannot do.
You might also want to seriously consider starting at school X as a freshman, and then take a year abroad. Any university that I have looked at does have some provisions for students to take either a semester or a full year abroad at a different university. Usually this happens during either your sophomore or junior years.
Taking a full 4 years abroad is of course a possibility. I have a daughter who is currently doing exactly that, but what I call “semi-abroad” since she is in Canada (which is not all that far from where we live in the US).
If you want to take a gap year and you don’t care about keeping the credits, why would you want to go to school for the gap year?
Accept school X, as that seems to be where you actually want to go as of now. Ask to take a gap year, if they acquiesce then spend the year in the country where you would have gone to school Y. You won’t be paying for tuition and you’ll have much more time to actually learn the language and enjoy the culture.
If, after the gap year, you attend school X and decide it’s not for you, you can still transfer with no academic dishonesty involved. Just don’t try to secretly enroll in two schools at once.
School X is private and v. expensive with “plush facilities”. It is not a top-tier school (around 1 hundred rank). I just learned, they dont allow deferral. Its study abroad partner-schools are “meh”.
School Y abroad is 1/3 of X price. it is one of the top schools internationally.
I guess I need to visit Y and decide by 5/1 - plenty of time.
Thank you all for the great input! i feel much better now about what to do.
p.s. the hardest thing for me is - to give up a US undergrad experience, both study and college life.
If your parents are paying for college, the amount they are willing and able to pay is an important factor and will enter into the college decision. If you are funding your own education without their help, then it is your choice.
We would be much more able to give good advice if we knew what the two schools are that you are comparing.
One of my daughters is currently studying “slightly abroad” (meaning in Canada, we live in the US). She loves it. The education is first class. The natives are friendly. Winters are almost identical to where we live. Drinking is legal for most undergraduate students which moves the drunk students out of the dorms into the local bars, where they are better behaved and easier to avoid. Polar bears have not been a problem.
“very expensive private university” and “rankings: around 1 hundred level” sounds to me as if it is definitely not worth it unless either you get truly superb financial aid, or your parents are very, very wealthy (into 8 figures).
Your description of the foreign university makes it sound a bit like McGill (the “foreign language” rules out most of the rest of Canada and the UK). McGill is academically very demanding, but is a great university in a great location. There is a LOT for a student to do in Montreal, and you will not run out of things to do in four years. You do not need to know any French at all to study at McGill nor to live in Montreal, but you will pick up some over four years. Let us know if you are actually considering a different university abroad.
Also, as one of the other comments asks, do you have other options as well? Are there still other schools that you have not yet heard from? There is still time to put in a few more applications.
It is not too late to get some RD applications in for some US colleges. If you’re not all that hyped about studying abroad, keep looking for some compromises.
Do parents know better? Generally yes. Does that mean they should make this life-impacting decision for you? No. Does it mean they are obligated to fund what they don’t feel they can afford? No.
Yes, my parents are paying via 529 and University X is covered. And if they are paying, do they REALLY KNOW better which school is better for me? Is it OK to put pressure on me?