Yes – thank you for sharing your perspective; it’s helpful to understand what others are experiencing…
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I have some patience for the F-word but the N-word really bothers me.
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I think in general people are ruder but I moved back to the Midwest a few years ago and for the most part people here are decent. Between getting older and taking into account the times we live in I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to be as polite to others as I can be. I can only control my own behavior and hopefully people appreciate that.
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Well, this was before the new bike lanes were put in. They have a buffer now and plastic bollards.
Interesting you bring this up. We just went out to dinner with a very good friend and her husband this week, and I realized what seems like a sort of “rudeness” he seems to have is really because he can’t hear what we are saying. I planned to text my fried soon and suggest we make a point of getting together at our houses instead of at noisy restaurants. I have another friend who is hard of hearing, and our normal group of 8 typically meets at someone’s house, which I think really helps him.
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I’ve been thinking about the OP’s question the last few days and here are a few of my thoughts.
Do people seem ruder: in my opinion, the short answer is yes. However, I believe I’m observing rudeness more often online/secondhand rather than actually witnessing it in person. The part that I have found disturbing is not necessarily the rudeness itself…there have always been people rude/inconsiderate people…but the disproportionate response in a given situation. Escalation feels like a real possibility and I feel it’s become a tactic to intimidate others into submission.
Do people seem more easily angered these days: again, the short answer is yes. Imo the more interesting consideration is why. To try and keep my thoughts succinct I attribute it in large part to the general sense of frustration due to 1. Lies and 2. Increasing/changing power disparities.
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For the most part, people in my orbit are generally pleasant. Yeah, there’s the guy on the e-bike who speeds up behind you - silently - and then realizes the path is narrower than he thought and forces you off the road. Yeah, there are tailgaters. But overall, I witness people being more oblivious than hostile.
With that said, it can really help to make an effort (and sometimes, it really is an effort!) to be pleasant. When complaining about getting charged twice for an item, asking if maybe the scanner sensitivity had been changed rather than suggesting the cashiers were incompetent…. Asking if you’re joining the line at the end. Telling the clerk at the post office you appreciate everything they do.
It really feels like people don’t connect as much in person as they used to and that bad connections immediately assume malice. Sure, there are people who are angry, and/or unhinged - and rude. It’ d be great if more people made it a personal challenge of de-escalating these situations. Because when you are rude and someone meets you with an offer of help or grace, it’s far easier to feel a bit of remorse than if they scream at you, proving they deserved your ire! Which is also a way of saying we don’t expect much of each other…
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