<p>None of my kids went to their prom. I think it caused some concern for a day or two when everyone else was busy getting ready/posting pictures to facebook, but they all seem to have managed to live full, productive lives since then.</p>
<p>No need to go.</p>
<p>As I’ve reported here in years past, S refused to go to his Jr or Sr prom… robbing me of my birthright Kodak moment!</p>
<p>Jr year he had no girlfriend, so I felt badly for him. He wouldn’t got stag with a friend - altho many at his hs did this (male and female). Sr year he had a gf but still wasn’t interested. </p>
<p>He had no regrets. Even I’ve gotten over it 
(almost, lol).</p>
<p>No prom? I think its kind of sad. Sad that so many people reported that their kids didn’t want to go. It isn’t something they should do but something they should want to do. We have had to have a running rule that kiddos may not attend prom before their junior year (all were asked starting freshman year).</p>
<p>It doesn’t have to be about that special night with that special someone–it should be about getting dressed up, going out for a “mature” meal with their friends, and dancing till they drop!</p>
<p>Maybe there are other expectations at other schools, or a lot of drunk kids (that could be annoying) or the dreaded “mean girls”???</p>
<p>Have you asked specifically why he/she doesn’t want to go?</p>
<p>Not going to the prom is about as sad as not making head cheerleader. Somehow it has no relationship to future success / happiness.</p>
<p>^^^teehee…</p>
<p>Depends. Is your student truly ambivalent or is he or she saying “I don’t care” because no one’s asked her or he’s been turned down by a girl. My friend’s s “didn’t care” until my d volunteered to be his “date”. Then, prom seemed like a good idea.</p>
<p>It’s not a big deal to miss dances/proms. But I think it is nice if they opt for the senior prom. At many high schools it’s common to go as a big group of friends, without specific couple assignments. </p>
<p>One of my kids just went to the senior homecoming dance (with a big group of friends) and the senior prom after party at the hs (opted out of the formal prom before it).</p>
<p>There is so much hype about prom in our society. It’s not something that ever appealed to me.</p>
<p>Speaking of prom, what is the proper etiquette these days? My son just asked a girl to their senior prom and she said yes. He has never been on a date or to a dance before. Does he buy both of their tickets? Pay for both dinners? Buy the corsages? I am pretty sure the answers are yes. Should we practice dancing?? LOL! I am excited for him.</p>
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<p>After I heard about what was going on at these HS dances, I was frankly quite happy that DS had no interest in attending any of them. I have never seen ‘grinding’ but from what I heard tell, I have no interest in ever seeing, or having my children see, this form of ‘dancing.’ The parents that were chaperoning were embarrassed. The upshot was that they outlawed ‘grinding’ at HS dances. The (popular) kids, in protest, boycotted the HS dances and held alternate unrestricted ones at the local hotel funded by their parents. Couldn’t believe those parents would do that. Drama and more drama. I think it has all gotten resolved but not sure as we have thankfully moved on from HS</p>
<p>I didn’t go to mine, and never really regretted it. My D didn’t go as a junior, because she didn’t have a date and her friends did. This year she is going to senior prom, but is going with a band buddy (not romantic) who is a fun guy, and a group of friends. I think she is treating it as another fun senior activity, not the highlight of her school life. After all, they all just went on a senior band cruise trip that included a formal dinner dance, so prom is kind of another local event.</p>
<p>D1 one attended every single dance her hs had, either with or without a date. D2 attended a few but decided during her Soph year that she didn’t really like dances and refused to go even when asked. She did decide to go to her Prom this year (Sr Year) and got a dress even before she had a date. Luckily the date materialized over the weekend so she is now very excited. Kids seem to go in large groups and having a date isn’t a prerequisite for going so she would have gone even without a date, but it seems more ‘grown up’ to have a date. Kids have very short attention spans and honestly they won’t even remember who went or not in a couple of months.</p>
<p>Our high school proms are not held at the school, and they are often 30 miles away. I was delighted when DS said that he and 35 of his closest friends were hiring a bus The bus cost $50 (which I gladly paid), and it drove them to the restaurant and then to the prom. They all met at one large house for photos and had a great time.</p>
<p>So much depends on the kid, school & culture. My S has never enjoyed formal dating social events. I forced him to go to a band banquet in 8th grade which he was ill at and did NOT enjoy (I was a chaperone & had already paid for him). I encouraged him to go to other dances & proms & balls (they even have one for USC engineers). He never attended any in HS and I don’t think he did in college either. He was slightly sad that he wasn’t going to attend senior prom but I think that the person he wanted to invite had already been asked by the time he asked her–turned out just as well since he was ill the week prior & week following said prom anyway. His fragile health in HS made it very hard for him to plan social events. I honestly don’t think he has regrets about missing his prom–none he’s voice. His dad (my H), also never attended any proms, balls or formal dances in HS or college. He did go to a lot of Jaycee dances. </p>
<p>My D on the other hand attended quite a few and enjoyed them. It was a very social event–she went with a huge group of GFs & generally, each of them had a date that got along well with ALL the other dates and GFs attending so that no one would feel the need to stick with their date all evening. Sometimes, they just went with a large group of GFs & had a nice time anyway. D attended two winter balls and JR & SR prom (she no longer even attended that HS as a SR but went to a winter ball & SR prom to enjoy it with her friends). Some of the girls did not attend all of the events for financial or other reasons but as far as I know, no one seems too concerned one way or another. The social events really seemed much more important to D than to S in our household.</p>
<p>I went to a goodly # of proms, balls, dances in HS; they were OK but not a must.</p>
<p>S1 went to the prom both jr. and sr. year. Both years he had steady gf’s (a diff. gf each yr) who really wanted to go</p>
<p>S2 didn’t have a gf and never really dated in h.s. He didn’t go to either prom. He has never expressed any regret over missing the prom experience. </p>
<p>S1 said if he had not had a steady gf forcing him to go he would have skipped it too.</p>
<p>For S, far more important than the prom was getting to go on the band trip to Australia, which he thoroughly enjoyed. He honestly seemed mostly indifferent about the prom and all the “fuss.” He also enjoyed several other SR activities–the class trip to Molokai Ranch, the day at the waterpark, and Project GRAD. We were glad that these activities appealed to him more and allowed him to participate and enjoy the events.</p>
<p>I think there are good reasons not to go, for some kids. However, I think that quite a few kids are short-sighted and rob themselves of experiences that they would be glad they did. So, I would encourage kids to:
- Go to the prom
- Go to graduation
- Buy the yearbook, and get friends to sign it
- Buy the class ring
- Etc.
Of course, finances may make some of these things impossible for a lot of kids–but some kids just need some encouragement from parents.</p>
<p>PS: I didn’t have much fun at my senior prom, but I’m glad I went, because otherwise there would be no photos of me in a plaid tuxedo.</p>