<p>As the title said, do they have to go to the prom?
If a senior who doesn’t want to attend the prom or any school dancing event, how the peers will think of her/him?</p>
<p>Dunno about the peers, but I moved into a homeschool program before that. It would’ve been nice and your son/daughter will probably regret it later in life but it’s not the biggest deal in the world.</p>
<p>I’ve told my kids - you can’t go to the prom when you are 35. Do what you can when there is only one chance</p>
<p>It’s not really a big deal at my daughter’s school. If a kid doesn’t go because he/she doesn’t want to and this makes their friends think less of them – maybe it’s time to get new friends!</p>
<p>in 1992, i was a pregnant senior when prom time rolled around. i didn’t go. was i ostracized for it? NO. nobody cared. many people opted out of the prom. not a big deal!!! u can relax and breathe now. lol</p>
<p>I guess it depends on the school. Some schools many of the kids go without dates. At my daughter’s school some of the kids go without dates, but not many. My daughter does not want to go unless she has a date. She has not been asked and she is too shy to ask someone so I do not think she will be going, unless she gets asked in the next week or so. </p>
<p>I have told my daughter that she does not want to peak in high school and to have that to be highlight of her life. I did not go to my senior prom many moons ago and have never regretted it. Kids are so into themselves these days I do not think they give too much thought to what other kids are doing for very long.</p>
<p>Trust your student.</p>
<p>Two points:
Kids this age only think about themselves. Most will either not notice your student is missing from the dance or will only give it a passing thought. No one will think badly of your student. Once the weekend is over the kids move on to new topics to discuss.</p>
<p>The dancing at many school dances has become very sexually suggestive. Many, many students do not attend dances because of this. Trust a student if they do not want to go to the dances.</p>
<p>Somehow, despite not caring about prom, I have managed to live a happy and successful life. Your son/daughter will survive too. :)</p>
<p>“Must” they go? No. Will they regret it? Well that depends. If the student does not want to go, they will be fine about it. If they don’t go because of friends issues (or boyfriend/girlfriend issue), they could have regrets later in life. Speaking from personal experience.</p>
<p>I never had the slightest desire to go. Just not my kind of thing. No regrets but I bet I would’ve regretted going just because everyone else was.</p>
<p>I didn’t go and my kids didn’t go, they haven’t regretted it and I never did, it depends on why.</p>
<p>No go? And miss having those dorky photographs for your kids to laugh at 30 years later? Not have the priceless stories about the lame behavior of your peers to share with them? Miss the realization that no matter how grim your future circumstances are, they will never be as grim as senior year at high school, with prom being the lowest note of all? </p>
<p>Tell you kid to pretend he or she is an anthropologist visiting from another country, exploring the mating rituals of this particular community. A detached and tolerant eye can make this a very interesting experience.</p>
<p>It is absolutely unnecessary to go to the prom. Many students skip it – often because they prefer to spend their money on other things or they simply don’t like events of this type. Prom is expensive! It doesn’t make sense to spend all that money on an event you don’t want to attend.</p>
<p>My son said that in his circle of friends, most of the guys would have preferred not to go to prom, but those who had girlfriends felt obligated to go because it was an event the girls looked forward to. He happened to have broken up with his girlfriend a while earlier, so he didn’t have to bother.</p>
<p>As for being ostracized, who is there to ostracize the student? Prom takes place at the end of senior year. The social groups that existed in high school are about to break up.</p>
<p>I didn’t want to go to my prom, but was forced to go when I was nominated for prom court. Went, had a horrible time.
My d really wants to go, so she asked a junior friend of hers. To my tremendous surprise she is very excited about it!
In our school kids often go stag or in groups of friends and have a great time. Other kids opt out of the prom and just attend the free after prom party sponsored by the PTA (it runs from after the prom until 5 a.m, food, entertainment-a way to keep kids safe and sober). the after prom party is actually much more fun than the actual prom!</p>
<p>I think proms have changed a bit since I was in high school. Back then, you had to have a date and it was a high-pressure, exclusionary event. Now, the kids seem to go to prom in packs rather than in pairs. It’s like a mixer, except with better clothes and more elaborate decorations. And it’s far more inclusive and less stressful.</p>
<p>If the OP’s son really does not want to go, of course he should not feel obligated or pressured. Of all the things one regrets in later years, I doubt that missing prom would be one of them.</p>
<p>Ugh. Of course not! I was made to feel guilty about not going back in the day and had a miserable time; I was the only person not to drop mesc at my table and trust me everything they were cracking up about wasn’t funny if you weren’t stoned ;)</p>
<p>D1 went with a friend last year in a small group. She didn’t know if she was going until about 2 weeks before since she didn’t want to go solo. She had a fine time but she would have been fine if she hadn’t gone too. She said some of the dancing crossed the line, but it was the kids she would expect to behave that way. </p>
<p>Agreed with whomever said that kids won’t really notice who’s not there. And if they’re that judgmental who needs them? Your child won’t see them again after May until the 10 year reunion.</p>
<p>S/he may not want to go now/today, but if a group of friends decide to go spontaneously…don’t be that surprised.
Your kid may be one of those reluctant types, the one that friends have to beg to join them.</p>
<p>If he’s a senior why does he care what his peers think? Chances are slim he will see a majority of them again for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>No they don’t need to attend. My oldest didn’t. Dances were just not “his thing.” No homecoming dance. No after-football dances. No proms. I know he had girl-friends who were not happy with him, but he just didn’t enjoy or want to go to high school dances. I encouraged him, offered to pay and all that stuff but the answer was no. His friends all went to high school dances but they didin’t give my son a hard time. My middle son went to prom junior year but not senior year. He adopted the “been there done that” attitude about the prom. #3 loves to go to dances and always invites a girl. It’s a personal choice so let your son make his own decision.</p>
<p>Who cares what a bunch of high schoolers you’ll never see again thinks of your decisions?</p>