Just do what you want to do. I know that it is the nature of forums like these. But why do we care so much what other people do or think? If you want to help your kid move - do it. If you don’t want to - don’t. Either way, your kid will be fine.
My D1 was resourceful. When I told her she needed to figure out her own summer storage plan, she found 4 international students who also needed to store stuff, and they split a storage unit for the summer. She had a friend with a car who helped her. It worked out. D2 is less resourceful, but her school provides storage.
There’s no fuss. It’s just a message forum after all.
The OP said her D claimed that “everyone” was coming to get their kids. The OP didn’t understand why that would be. I’m simply pointing out that there are all kinds of reasons why parents do this, and someone like the OP’s daughter wouldn’t necessarily know that, she’d only know what she observed. But you’re right, I don’t think the students are actually judgmental about these kinds of things; it’s a subset of parents who tend to do that when discussing how other people do things.
But I agree with Hunt that this isn’t really about the packing.
This brings back memories of moving our oldest daughter out of Emerson College in Boston…limited time to park…like minutes limited. All of the students dragged their stuff out in black garbage bags.
I think I will suggest that the youngest start bringing things home little by little…she isn’t a great packer by any stretch of the imagination
@lje62 I really think the purging process needs to start well into Junior year! It’s shocking how much junk students accumulate.
.
I recall when my son my son was moving from Cambridge to LA just before end of year. To move his car was a minimal of $1400, but they would throw in packing and unpacking. I paid for it. Turns out, major snow storm. When they did come, they brought boxes and tape. No way could son have packed his stuff. If I had flown up, it would have been wasted money. Kids learn that parents can be available in crisis, and at other times, be a financial,resource. All part of maturation.
@musicamusica , I am so relieved that my daughter will be living in the same dorm with a girl she is friends with next year…no unkwowns of what to take or what will actually fit in the room. Her roommate this year had way too much junk, right from day one. I have my doubts if she actually used half of it.
I sure hope not. I’m driving to get D in May but I fully expect her to have everything packed and ready to load in the car because time will be short. I’ll help carry stuff but packing her boxes/suitcases/whatever? Um, no.
Late to the party here, but this made me think about my experience, including a funny story. College was about 400 miles away and when the time came to head off to college, I packed up the car (by myself) and headed off with my parents waving goodbye in the driveway. Granted, I had a car, so that made it a little easier. If it fit in the car, I could take it. If it didn’t, I couldn’t.
But it never occurred to me that parents came with their kids to move in (or out) until I pulled up to my dorm and saw all the minivans and SUVs lined up with parents and siblings carrying things. Even if I’d known, I don’t think I’d have wanted them there, but I was a pretty independent kid. I figured out everything on my own from buying towels and sheets I needed, later moving off campus and found apartments on my own with friends, etc. I never expected help with any of this.
Now for the story . . . .when 4 of us were trying to figure out how to furnish our first off-campus apartment, my father kept suggesting garage sales. I didn’t pay much attention because I didn’t really think people sold decent furniture at garage sales, but one day I was driving down the road, saw a sign for a garage sale and remembered dad’s advice. What could it hurt to look? I made a quick turn and saw a house with the garage filled with furniture and the door into the house from the garage wide open, but nobody around.
I wasn’t a shy kid, but still a teenager and a little intimidated to go by myself, but we needed furniture, so into the garage I went, and I’m thinking, wow, dad was right! They DO have furniture at garage sales, and this stuff is pretty nice! But there were no price tags. Could I even afford any of it? So I am sitting on a couch bouncing up and down to see if it’s comfortable when a man comes out of the house into the garage.
Man: Can I help you? (He doesn’t look very friendly – further intimidating me to ask him what the prices were)
Me: Well, I’m just kind of looking around.
Man: You don’t just “look around” in other people’s garages!
Me: But . . . I saw a sign for a garage sale and saw all the furniture . . . .
Man: I’m shampooing my carpets and moved all the furniture out here!
I apologized profusely and practically ran for the car. It wasn’t funny to me at the time, but it sure is now. LOL
Even later to the party. Since I went to the same university where my father was on faculty, we could do several trips to move my stuff home over a week. When I didn’t need my refrigerator anymore, we moved it to my father’s office, so it didn’t even leave campus. I have no idea if this is a lot or a little thing for a person away from home for the first time.
I caved.
I am usually all about ‘ha! let D figure it out herself’ and she is also very ‘I can do it myself’. But I miss her. She only came home for winter break. She spent Thanksgiving and Spring Break at school, 1000 miles away. She’s going to a small, not well-known LAC in the middle of nowhere midwest (seriously - just lots of corn- and soybean fields) so no summer storage service for her school. So, when I asked her if she wanted me to come a few days early and help her pack, and she replied ‘if you want’, I interpreted that to mean ‘Yes!’.
She’s to find and split a storage unit with a friend or two. There are only two storage facilities in their little town and then there are more 15 miles away in the nearest big “city”. I don’t know if they have found one or not. She did say she was getting boxes this week. I hadn’t anticipated the expense of my airfare but at least she has a super-single (two beds, no roommate) so I have a place to stay.
Reading between the lines, knowing her well enough to know anything but a solid NO means yes, but she’s not going to ask - ha! Good call. 