“that’s where I’m different than some here who are asking whether this is something parents do or not… I had no clue whatsoever whether the other parents were going to be there or not. That never entered our minds in deciding whether to go or not, and I wouldn’t base a decision on whether other parents were doing it or not.”
Yes!!! This x 1000. I, too, had no clue and didn’t care what other parents do / did.
Can’t help, way too far away. Would go pick up if we were close by, but would expect everything to be already packed if that were the case. Her roommate’s parents are going to store her stuff, but my expectation is still that it will be all packed and that she will help move it into their truck and maybe even into their house if they take her there to help out.
She went to music camp in college dorms every summer from fifth grade through 11th. I think I only helped pack that fifth grade summer when she hadn’t (she was 11), but even then she heard about it.
“She said that one of her friends was shocked—SHOCKED!—that D will not be having a parent come to help.”
Well, I say - let her be shocked. I’m sure the world will continue to turn.
Thinking back, there were many years when my own parents had 4 kids in college and/or grad school at the same time. No way they did all those drop offs and pick ups. I remember my brothers dropping me off and picking me up. They helped with the heavy lifting but packing was up to me.
That dorm storage setup sounds great. I certainly never had anything that convenient. These kids today. 
I had a tiny quad room as a freshman. I’m trying to imagine the logistics of having everyone’s parents there to help pack up. I would not really have been helpful. Move-in was bad enough.
Yeah. It’s an outside business. Great idea for a business. Captive audience.
The dorm storage service at my daughter’s school is kind of pricey when you add it all up. Though it sure does seem convenient.
Back in the stone age, my parents put me on a plane by myself for my freshman year with 2 suitcases…and never came to campus until graduation. Somehow, I figured out how to furnish my dorm, pack and store at the end of the year, find an apartment, move off campus, etc. All without parents or internet. My kids have had it so easy in comparison. My opinion? If parents want to help (and the kid is OK with it), then help. If the parents don’t want to spend the money or time, then tell the kid to do it themselves. That simple.
I think it’s human nature to feel at least a little sad if most other people are going to have a parent present, and you aren’t–even if you don’t really need the parent’s help at all. I still think this whole question is not about the practicalities of packing up. I also think it’s reasonable for OP not to go if the expense is unreasonable–but the reason to go would not be (in my opinion) a practical need for help in packing.
I would say it totally depends on the kid as well as the situation at the college. Our D has significant organizational/ time management deficits and she hyperfocuses on her academic obligations. No matter how much we encourage her from 2000 miles away to figure it out ahead of time, we know she will not because she cannot plan ahead. Given that she has 18 hours between her last final and the time she needs to be on the two hour bus ride to the airport, H is going out to help her. Her school has no packing/shipping services, limited storage hours and capacity, a mail room that’s only open M-F, 10:30-3:30 (D is in class most of that time), and is more than a mile from the Post Office. At least we have enough airline points that both of their flights are covered. We are hoping that after seeing how it works the first time, that she will be able to do it herself in future years.
I’m sure many parents enjoy helping their kid load the stuff into the helicopter. 
Many kids probably just want help with an unappealing task. “Everybody else’s parents are helping paint the picket fence.” Often times they are coming off an intense week of studying and finals, where packing & cleaning were not the priority. They finish that last final and can either release steam and say farewells or pack…hmmmm.
As her freshman year drew to a conclusion, my daughter assured me she’d be ready to roll by the time I arrived to pick her up. Nope!
I hope my kids will helicopter a little bit when I ask them to help me move into assisted living.
If they are good kids, I am sure they will whether or not you moved them in or out of their dorm. My parents barely stopped the car dropping me off in front of my dorm (a 45 minute drive home) and let me take the Greyhound back. No problem. I was all grown up and did not associate their absence with any lack of support. Many years later I not only shopped for their assisted living but handled the entire move and subsequent financial arrangements just two years ago. No problem. Whether in college or assisted living one does what ones loved ones require. (or at least they should) And each scenario is different.
This is a quibble, of course, but we tend to do more than what is required, as I suspect most parents do.
Well, that’s true, I think we all do to much. I know that I am constantly keeping myself in check. Even though D is well on her way to 30 years old I have to remind myself that she is more capable than I know. Heck, when she was a sophomore she self evacuated out of New Orleans during Katrina with seven other students in her car… so.she can certainly pack a bag, get to the airport and board a plane with out my physical or emotional assistance.
@Teriwtt said:
I agree. My D was driving her car home in the summers, from North Carolina to Texas. You bet I helped her pack and get home. That’s a long drive to take by yourself. I have done it myself, and it’s not ideal. It’s helpful and probably safer if you have another person along to help take shifts.
In spite of having parental help, D graduated from college, applied to grad schools, flew all over the country, made her selection, and is in her fourth year in her Ph.D program, doing quite well. Helping her pack and get home at the end of the year didn’t stunt her growth one iota.
People who can’t or don’t want to make the trip are well within their rights. Making a different choice is also just fine.
Yes, I made that long car trip from LA to New Orleans with my D. The jeep packed to the gills with her insturmentsand “stuff”. A week later it was all gone but that’s another story.( This thread is slowly jumping the shark.)
I don’t think anyone has said that driving cross country with a daughter would stunt growth. This was about helping someone who doesnt need help. Safety or physical well being is not the OP’s daughters issue. This is in no way related to the OPs quandry. But it does point out that every situation is different and every students abilities are different.
Exactly. But unless my D told anyone specifically that her situation was “different”, other students would not have necessarily known that; they would only have observed D’s parent “helping” her when, as said numerous times in this thread, she really “should” be able to do this on her own.
“But unless my D told anyone specifically that her situation was “different”, other students would not have necessarily known that; they would only have observed D’s parent “helping” her when, as said numerous times in this thread, she really “should” be able to do this on her own.”
Other students would say she “should” be able to do this on her own? People who do not know you are constantly making snap judgements. Who cares what other students think?
But thanks, I now understand the fuss.
Agree…store as much as possible. The ONLY things that should be shipped are things that NEVER will return to the college campus because your kid realized they are not needed. Really…summer clothes…and computer should do it. Store everything else at the school.