We visited a friend this summer in SoCal, and she was shocked that we did not hire a college counselor. She said that everyone in her neighborhood with high school kids had one. DS already has a school assigned college counselor at his private school, but he does oversee a lot of kids (80-90). DS has been good about seeing his counselor on a regular basis.
Should we be concerned? He has already taken his SATs (old). He will take the new SAT this October. My only concern is that he has a large list of schools that he wants to apply to (he’s worried he won’t get admitted anywhere despite his good grades), and I don’t think he realizes how much time he will spend writing essays and filling out applications. He has already started writing his essays…well at least one. At what point would you shell out $$ for a counselor?
Are you expecting the private counselor to write his essays and fill out the applications for him?
How much do you know about the process? Does your son understand WHY he needs to apply to a range of colleges? Do you have at least $1000 to spare? To answer your ?, you do not need to be concerned.
If your son goes to a private school I think he is in a better position than many kids in public schools, in terms of guidance. As for hiring a private college advisor, I freely admit I hired one. I did so because I felt my daughter needed help with interview techniques, as she is shy, and I wanted someone who could help her list her ECs in the best way, as they were not outstanding. The person I hired also steered my D towards the college she will be attending. I am not sure it was totally worth it, but it also wasn’t a total waste of money. However, if I knew then what I know now, I certainly would not have hired someone and will not do so for my S19. The person who pooh poohed the fact that you don’t have one is being snobby, IMO.
No idea how many colleges your S is applying to, but if he is a strong student, there is no reason for him to apply to a huge number of schools. My kid, an excellent student, applied to 12, got into 9. A good friend’s son, not a great student, applied to 14, got into 13. My D applied to too many, and so did my friend’s son. If your son applies to a range of schools where his stats fall comfortably within the mid 50%, and some where his stats are at least in the 75th percentile, he will get into several colleges. Kids run into trouble when they only apply to reach schools, thinking that because they have good grades and good test scores, they only need to apply to enough reach schools and one of them will come through. IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! He must apply to colleges he will be happy to attend, even if they aren’t famous or super selective. Unless you are Malia Obama, you have to sacrifice something and apply to schools that are not necessarily your top choices.
Also, all those apps get expensive. I would urge your son to whittle down his list. I personally think a good number of colleges to apply to is 8-10, more or less, depending on how many safety, match and reach schools a kid applies to. 2-3 safeties, 3-5 matches, and the rest can be more matches or reaches or safeties. Your son is going to get into college, unless he only applies to Top 20 schools.
DS used the HS GC at his private school, who had fewer students (30-40), but also did a fair amount of related tasks (setting up school visits for colleges, explains FA to parents, etc.). We did not hire a private GC, and I think it would not have been appreciated by the school GC if we had. He had a very successful application process.
We are at a large public school that is nationally ranked as one of the best. Our counselors have about 30 kids from each grade, but spend most of their time with the juniors and seniors. They are always available to meet with parents and students of any grade. I recently met with our S19’s counselor and he was so knowledgeable it was shocking. He is so upset that parents are made to feel like they need to spend upwards of $12,000 for a private college coach. It’s just not true. He said there is one exception: if a parent feels like the student will drag his feet and not be able to follow the (very specific) timeline given to him by his high school counselor. If it becomes a nag fest at home and parents want to pay someone else to keep the child on track, then hiring might be the way to go. He also admitted that ACT or SAT tutoring can be helpful, or at least a book or a class if not a private tutor.
In our neighborhood, many people hire someone to help. Parents have the money. Around here, they outsource everything - their lawn care, their dog walks, etc., and they certainly pay big bucks for tutors for many subjects. I’m convinced that it makes the kids dependent on the tutors. Are these kids going to have a tutor all through college? Come on.
After talking to our counselor, I really think it can be done without one. If a parent has time to help their child organize themselves, that’s a plus. This is not rocket science. Sure beats spending $12K if you ask me.
I agree that it’s not rocket science. Since he’s attending a private school that has experienced counselors; he has access to the Internet; and he has you (an English-speaking parent), a private counselor is a nice-to-have but not absolutely necessary.
Your major responsibility as a parent is to cull from his list the schools you cannot or will not pay for. Start by filling out the Net Price Calculator on each school’s website.
Your other major responsibility is to make sure he applies to at least one school that 1) he is highly likely to be admitted into, that 2) you can afford, and that 3) he’s willing to go to. Everything else is gravy.
The questions you would ask a private counselor can be asked on this website. Help with selecting appropriate essay topics and essay proofreading can also be obtained for free here.
Some private counselors are extremely helpful, but nobody needs to hire one and nobody but you can make the decision. (A) if you hire one, do your homework and find a great one and (B) if you don’t hire one, do the homework and learn the ins and outs as best you can.
Best of luck to you, either way!
Thanks for all the advice. I guess I’m feeling a little guilty that we didn’t look into a private counselor for him, and I didn’t realize so many people used one. I have been checking CC off and on throughout the past year(s) so I am not totally lost with the college app process. I’m just worried that I might be missing something.
We did not use a college counselor, and I’m surprised to learn how many people did in our area.
I think a counselor can have a lot of value if you have a particularly resistant kid who needs to hear a voice other than yours, or are otherwise swamped or overwhelmed by the process (and of course have the spare change), but if you don’t, your kid should be fine so long as you consult a few standard resources, ask a lot of questions on CC, and keep up with recommended time frames.
In my case, I was heavily invested in understanding it all firsthand, and had some schedule flexibility, as well as friends who had been through the process recently and were solid sources of advice – plus CC – so don’t feel my kid missed out. It’s a lot of legwork, but worthwhile if you can swing it. (Our public school GC was generically helpful, but not a particular font of wisdom.)
One of the friends I spoke with had a counselor who made some simple recommendations to focus her search for a fraction of the costs discussed above, and she was happy for the input.
“hire a college counselor.” - nobody does it where we live. You do whatever you wish, it is your money and your time.
Why on earth are you feeling guilty? You should be feeling proud that you didn’t see the need to hire somene in a panic. IMO, if you go this route, you should not pay more than $2000 total for a counselor. I live in an expensive region not far from a major metropolitan area. There were many counselors who wanted me to buy a $5000 package which included the whole shebang. I wasn’t looking for that. I wanted a few very specific hours to: ensure the list was appropriate (helpful), learn interviewing techniques (helpful), essay critique (not very helpful), and filling out the activities section of the app (very helpful).
If your child has decent ECs, is comfortable talking to strangers, is a good writer, and can firm up a list, then you will probably be fine. In your case, as your son has a long list, it might be useful to spend some money, which you will save in app fees, in order to cull his list. But, he is at a private school. Has he been in to see the counselor to make his list manageable? You said the counselor has 80-90 kids. Is that for a four year high school, in total? I would think if the counselor is only dealing with about 20 seniors, he should have the time to help your son. I would have him see his school counselor first, and only then, if the counselor fails to help cull the list, you can think about hiring someone.
Our GCs had closer to 200 kids to look after, so 80-90 sounds good to me! I agree that most students who aren’t chasing merit money can probably stick to 8-10 applications. 2 Safeties and 6 matches or reaches should give plenty of good choices. If any one in our school was using a private counselor, I didn’t hear about it. Kids got into plenty of very good colleges.
My opinion:
While I see their value, we decided against it for our kids because:
- I got interested enough to learn myself, here and through the investment of large time and small money in the many books on admissions. This takes a commitment but there is no substitute for a parent educated on this crazy process. (I have gotten a bit obsessive though… and that’s not good either!)
- Like the posters above, we are lucky that our public HS has excellent – really almost miraculous – college counselors.
In the absence of #1 and/or #2, I feel professional counselors can be immensely valuable.
In our public HS that sends 98% of kids onto 4 year college I have only heard of kids using an essay assistant, not a whole counselor.
I think the essay helper was charging $300 to help the kids create and review their essays. Some parents liked that idea.
I personally don’t see the need to spend any $$ on counselors unless your kid is really reaching for the top 20 schools and they are unhooked students with just nice stats and ECs.
Buy the Fiske guide to read about schools, use CollegeData to see what the median range for scores/gpa is and if your kid fits in the middle have them apply ( if you can afford it!)
There’s a book, “How to Prepare a Standout College Application” that offers excellent advice on the topic of the basics of essay writing and activities lists. My kid of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole, but I read it, then used it to inform what little guidance he was willing to accept from me.
We are at a large suburban public high school in MA and I am not aware of anyone who hired a college counselor.
I believe that admins at colleges see right through the kids who use the professional consultants…their essays are slick and polished…their wording on the common app is similar…they just feel packaged. Do it yourself…we did (our poor old public school had 240 seniors for 1 counselor LOL) and it worked out great…D was accepted everywhere from uchicago to tufts (though then we weren’t able to pay for it…but that’s another post! 
I think the journey is fun on your own. Almost addicting. As my dad would say the quickest way to people $$$ is through their kids.
Really? I’ve been wondering if I can ask some of you to assess my kid as your own, for free (I figure most of you don’t need money). Some of you are way more knowledgable than I whose native language is not English and who didn’t do undergraduate in the States.
My kid is only in middle school, so I’m only thinking, loudly. I like holistic admissions but don’t like standard testing (not that my kid is bad at it).
@eiholi, I’d come back and ask when your child is a HS sophomore or thereabouts. Many people on this site have done what you’re asking, and provide advice that is worth much more than it costs (setting a low bar here ).
If you have any specific questions, many of us respond to PMs.