Btw, am I the only one remembering the “sloppy sweats” thread and thinking how horrified some would be at seeing actual pajamas out in public?? LOL.
OP, I too suggest you step back not try to think of whether this relationship will or won’t work and why. It IS still very, very early. I remember you had similar worries/concerns about your son’s LAST relationship. PLEASE let him navigate this himself! Fwiw, my older D was involved with someone we did not care for, at all. Expressing this did nothing but make her more determined than ever to make it work, which of course, it did not. Now older, she is happy in a mature, sensible relationship, with no input from us-and that’s fine!
“Btw, am I the only one remembering the “sloppy sweats” thread and thinking how horrified some would be at seeing actual pajamas out in public?? LOL.”
Not exactly horrifying, but IMO wearing actual pajamas to a casual resort breakfast area is plenty stupid. Things potentially stained with bodily fluids should not be worn in public.
When we were in Germany, I was eating breakfast at the hotel restaurant and a family came in. Their two children (guessing 6-8 y/o, NOT toddlers) were wearing their pajamas, slippers, and carrying their stuffed animals.
I don’t know the nationality and wondered if this is a German custom or not…
Not a huge deal, but honestly they did catch my attention.
When at home, I sometimes follow the Jennifer Lawrence style of at home wear. No pants.
( this is not when the kids are home obviously)
EVO has sweats & leggings on sale. http://www.evo.com/shop/clothing/casual/jeans-pants/womens.aspx
It’s easier to find stuff for me than H. Mens sweats seem to be getting wider and bigger.
When I was about 7 years old, somehow my parent brought a friend (who is from New Zealand) home for a stay of one (or two at most) night. He was a young man about the age of 25-ish. I had no idea why my parent invited him to our house.
There was an extra bed in my bedroom. (Two beds are on the opposite end of the room. It was my grandfather who asked a carpenter in our small town to make them for us - his grandchildren.) I slept on one bed and he slept on the other.
We slept with all lights turned off. After the light had been turned off, the young man got up , removed all of his clothes and slept without clothes.
Today, it might be considered as totally inappropriate as a guest. (Somehow we did not hear anything about gay/lesbian/child molester in those years. It must still exist, it is just we did not hear it.)
He was very gentleman-like. As far as I remember, he looks like one of those clean-shaved, well-dressed mormons who are on their mission trip. (But he was not, because it is always the case that two mormons would go out together and they ride bikes. (I believe my parent met him from his work. So he was not a tourist either. I was too young to know anything. I should have asked my parents why he came visiting us for a short stay before they passed away.)
I guess very few in US would sleep like this. (You can not dress more casually than this at home! LOL.)
DS is wider than me (in a good way because I am too thin) even though he is of the same height as me (5’11")
I do not know it is because of the nutrition or more exercises. I have never been in a gym working out but he has been doing it frequently (esp. after high school, and more so today - almost everyday now.)
I always heard that the next generation are taller in general due to better nutrition. But this is not the case in my family (blame it on “too much school work, not enough play” while growing up?! I did play more than my child when growing up.)
Tangent to this thread: The PI is calling DS to discuss their research project. The call was originally scheduled on 12-31-2014, but the PI was too tied up to call him. I heard this year is actually this PI’s sabbatical year - but he is still working on 12-31-2014 and 1-2-2015??
DS mentioned before that some of his classmates think of nothing but their careers in their daily life, and absolutely nothing else occupy their mind. (And I think most of them are 26-27 years old unless they are untraditional students.) That is, there are full of very ambitious people around him. (He may be one of the less ambitious ones.) Hmm… consider the “intensity” of his PI, and the demand resulted from it, I wonder whether he could manage to “get some time off” for, say, 4 consecutive days in the next half a year. (Why did he choose to take the research year in the first place?! If not, he will definitely have no problem in having 4 consecutive days off in the next half a year as the typical last year is normally the easiest except for some sub-i and many trips.)
Is your son a PhD student? What you described is the norm at the majority of science grad programs. For example, my advisor allowed his grad students to take 2 weeks off - one in August and one around Christmas - and the advisor expected his students to forego one of those breaks.
No, he is in some MD program which allows the student to take an additional “tuition-free” research year. Somehow they call it the 5th year but it is actually the year between the typical 3rd year and the tupical 4th year.
The true PhD students may call the research in the 5th year “micky mouse” research - they use (faked) Micky Mouse instead of the real mice to do the research.
meeting the parents of the SO while in pajamas at your parents house via video chat is entirely different than meeting them with in person with the child in pajamas.
I don’t think it’s too big of a deal… not like you guys are walking around in victorias secret lingere, right?
and yes - when I work in the office the first thing I do when I come home is change out of my clothes… unless it was a day where I wore jeans or something. I usually change into sweatpants and a tshirt or my pajamas, depending on what time it is. In terms of other people, it seems to vary depending on what peoples jobs are. If they dress up for work, they seem to tend to change when they get home. If they dress casually, they tend to stay in those clothes.
If you’re so worried about your casual clothes, buy better looking ones that don’t look like pajamas. My go to outfit for comfort at home is a pair of black yoga pants and a decent sweatshirt in the winter or t-shirt in the warmer months. Hair and makeup is done in the morning so if anyone knocks on the door I am presentable. This casual/comfortable outfit works great if I need to run to the store for a gallon of milk. Just throw on some sneakers and away I go. What’s to be embarrassed about?
More than a year ago, I was very sick for many (7?) months (had had a series of surgeries.) In a month or so after I had been sent home (but still needs IV) I wore a pajama-like dress everywhere. I was very sick at that time (with draining tube still hooked up to my body and could only walk very slowly) and the etiquette and proper manners were last thing in my mind! I did try a little bit to avoid going some places where a more formal dress is expected so that I would not offend other people. I remember one store we went to was a Verizon wireless store. It seems to be fine there (they understood.)
As regard to whether or not to “meet” SO’s parents in a pajama-like dress, I was not my concern because it was not me who would meet them. So I just kept my mouth shut and would not offer my unsolicited opinions.
I did stay in the bedroom when he was on FaceTime/Skype/Line/KakaoTalk/etc (whatever they were using.) I have never said hi to her during their video chat yet. (But my wife has - it seems after DS and his GF insisted she do so - because it seems my wife said to her that “she is cooking (in the kitchen).”)
I actually did not know exactly what app and even which gadget - computer or smartphone, they were using. I have no “business” there. I guess it was when DS once mentioned that he did not sit up straight in sofa in some very casual dress at one time and her mom said jokingly he was lazy bone or something (she translated what her mom said after he had insisted she translate it) that I thought of this question. I guess DS dressed up and sat straight up for the video chat from that time on.
It was easier for him to do that when we were vacationing and staying at a hotel - he went to some common facility at that hotel we were staying to do that.
Talking about giving the offsprings the privacy and “space”: I heard of a notorious case where the parents installed some monitoring software on their child’s computer till the child reaches the college age. (The parents did not tell them when they did it but the computer savvy kids found out anyway but it was not even an option for the kids in that kind of family to protest.) We would never do this.
However, we just did not give our child his own computer and smartphone till he went off to college. (Actually the only computer in our family was mostly used by our child because he needed that occasionally for his homework, and he had to put that computer in the living room.) We were all not so addicted to the use of computers or smartphones in those years. My wife actually suggested we reduced the number of our computer to one and the number of smartphone to one as well after I retire this coming year. She said our life style will be better in that way. Nowadays, she actually only uses her iPhone as her camera only but she is somewhat addicted to the computer and I am addicted to my iPhone. She needed the “iPhone camera” because, in her blog, she puts a lot of pictures on it. Her interests were mostly on gardening (in the past) as well as cooking (now) - she has never and will never be on CC.
