@sax - I brought it up because I had a similar problem with my Dad. My mother died at age 63 and he got remarried a few years later, stupidly having the same kind of will that leaves everything to the spouse unless they predecease. He didn’t even realize that he had disinherited my sister and I and I can’t believe his lawyer didn’t point it out to him! He did name us as partial beneficiaries on his 401K but that was mainly what they lived off of. My sister and I didn’t want much more but we did want the rights to his personal property that predated his second marriage, much of which was our mother’s. When my father realized all that, he wanted to change his will but he was too old and sick and I didn’t want to add to his unhappiness.
Take care of these things NOW, while you’re able, and tie it up so neatly that it won’t need to be redone!
Get a will! A few horror stories and you will be running to the estate planning attorney. Spouses who re-marry, taxes, probate. The state is not the entity that I would want to take care of my last wishes (plus it can be a long drawn out process).
I hope to leave money to my kids and also hope they won’t need it.
That is where trusts come in handy. Our money goes into a trust. Future spouses and their children are specifically excluded. The trusts protect the assets from future divorces.
It’s a good idea to re-examine your “financial affairs” periodically, especially once your kid(s) turn 18, when someone marries/dies/has a kid, etc. This way, you can be sure things will pass as you intend rather than sad surprises to survivors.
My parents had their money in a trust . When my dad turned 76 he met a woman and married her.
She wanted him to change the trust. She keep calling his attorney and telling him my dad wanted to see him to change things.
Luckily his attorney was a long time friend of my parents and he absolutely adored my mom. When dad died she went to the attorneys office and asked how much she was getting.
$0.
She got on ebay and started selling all my parents stuff. Oh well.
I’ve seen a few horror stories in the newspapers concerning large inheritances. For those of you who will leave things “to the grandkids”, please be specific! Some people resort to in vitro fertilization and surrogacy decades after a death so that a “grandchild” can claim a piece of a very large pie. Specify grandchildren born or conceived by a certain date, adopted by a certain date (or within a certain time period after your death), etc.
I am going through a divorce. I have a will. If I die before the divorce is finalized, under the will my two daughters will equally share my half of the marital property. I have specifically stated in the will that it is my intent to give property only to my daughters. By state law, I cannot give away the other half of the marital property, because it’s my husband’s property, not mine. After the divorce is finalized, I will make a new will, in which I will indicate that all my property (which will no longer be marital property) goes to my daughters in equal shares.
Is anyone paying their executor? We named a close friend as executor of our trust. It sounded like a big job, especially because our executor is in one state and our children are in 3 states. I think he will get about $30k for his work. Does that sound fair?
We paid our executor what he requested and the amounts were recommended as reasonable by the estate attorney. The executor has a law degree and did a lot of work over the course of 3+ years. We paid him something in the low 5 figures, I think, but am not sure of precise amount.
We have an estate attorney in our extended family, who is serving in that role as a favor to me as his only sister (I guess he’ll feel so sad about my untimely death he can’t bear to charge my children for his expertise).
Based on what he tells me, unless you have a really complicated trust/will and millions of dollars at stake, you could name a trusted sibling (or very BFF) as the executor to make sure your preferences are carried out. Unless there is a dispute, I don’t think you need to have attorneys involved.