This!!!
As for whether we expect to leave a significant amount, remains to be seen. If we died today they would be a great position (not retired, with quite a bit socked away and home paid off) but as we age, start using our retirement funds, if we have any major medical costs…so many variables…who knows if what we’ll have left. However, if I had to guess, I believe we will have something (hopefully significant) to leave for the kids.
I expect we’ll leave something for my D. The size of that inheritance depends on how long we live, what the markets do, and the state of our health. If either one of us has some wasting, drawn-out expensive medical decline requiring a lot of special care, I don’t know how much we’ll have left. At any rate, it won’t be enough to make her financially secure for life; it’ll just be a little extra on top of what she has already managed to do for herself.
I always think it’s a mistake to promise your children you will leave them something. Situations can change. In the late 90s, for example, when people were getting 17% annual returns, my parents believed that they’d die quite rich. My father, who is now in his late 80s, has enough for a comfortable life but not nearly as much, I suspect, as he thought he would in the 90s. He told my sister and me some things back then about how much we’d get but I don’t think he could honor that expectation today.
If we died today, our kids would get significant assets from us, but no idea how much they’ll be spent down over the decades we expect to live.
We do gift our kids regularly, as we enjoy seeing them having their retirement accounts more secure and sharing in experiences with them.
So sorry to read about your son @ EllieMom and your wife@ TonyK
Seconding PG’s caution that even if you don’t want a will for whatever reason, it’s very important to have an advance directive. And since medical realities don’t always line up with cut and dried legal specs, it’s important to have a medical POA who can make the difficult decisions when the time comes.
It’s also important to review and revise the medical directive over time, as we age and our medical situation changes. When we are fairly healthy, the measures we may be willing to undertake to stay alive may be different than when we are battling several debilitating chronic conditions, for example.
It all goes to precious darling.
I have started adding information to every piece of art work I have collected. I worry that some pieces might get overlooked . Especially the smaller engravings and drawings. Maybe I’ve watched too many Antiques Roadshows, but I have a fear of stuff being tossed or sold for nothing.
@EllieMom and @TonyK thank you for sharing your painful stories. Lessons for those of us who haven’t “been there.”
@musicamusica, good idea about identifying art – I would also say do the same with old family photographs. Let generations to come know who’s who in these wonderful old black & whites!
I don’t know what we will still own down the line. Our investments are in the form of real estate. What we will sell remains to be determined. I hope it is all sold long before we pass ( except for our residence )
I have some jewelry that I will pass down. I want my step-daughter to have something that was given to me from my MIL. The other pieces I have will be passed down to my daughters. I don’t have a lot , but I do want everyone to get something.
If there is anything left, I certainly want it to go to my kids. However, I hope to spend as much of it as I can! As my Mom used to say, I am spending your inheritance. I told her, it isn’t mine, its yours. You earned it. I hope my kids feel the same way.
H and I have been meeting with a “wealth manager”( retirement funds company term) recently. The question is, in our system, how you take your retirement benefits. This will determine if and what is left for legacy. So just starting to deal with these decisions.
If there is anything left then yes they get it. But with the costs of getting old going up I doubt there will be much for left.
We expect to leave some because we hope to have enough to support ourselves, but don’t expect to know in advance just exactly how long we’ll need to do that. We also hope they don’t need it and won’t be counting on it. One ex-BIL is still waiting to inherit at 65. I hope his mom lives forever. Another relative just inherited a moderate amount at 60. He probably needs it, since his parents had to co-sign his apartment lease where he and his wife and teenage son live. Now that they are gone, I expect he’ll blow through the money in the next year, after which time I’ll quit answering the phone. Ok, I’ll answer, but won’t make it easy.
As much as I’d like to say I want to die spending my last $$ on Jimmy Choos, I will try my best to leave my kids a substantial amount to help with educating their kids…
I want my own parents to spend ALL their $ and then ask for more before they go!!
My kids will be richer than us. I guess, whatever they want to have after we are gone, is theirs. Not sure if it will mak much dent in their life style at all.
To all of you who are leaving everything to your kids - what about your spouse? Are you leaving it to your spouse unless s/he predeceases you and then to the kids? This would imply that the second one to die wouldn’t change their will at some later date in case of remarriage (don’t do this!).
Or, are you leaving your share of marital assets to your spouse “usufruct” for their lifetime (as long as they don’t remarry) where it then passes to the children?
Just curious because I’ve moved to a state where the law is (if you die without a will) everything goes to the children but the surviving spouse has use of community property while they still live as long as they don’t remarry. Property that predates the marriage and anything inherited is not part of the community property.
It seems so simple and easy and there is no state estate tax so I’m wondering if I even need a will here.
Geeenwitch. You make an excellent observation when you say state laws are all different.
Ours is easy. !00% to surviving spouse. Then equally divided between kids upon their death. Also equally divided between kids if we die together.
Now the problem, as I watched with my dad, is the unplanned remarriage of spouse. Dad demanded a prenup. What’s yours is yours. What’s mine is mine. The new wife spent the entire rest of the marriage trying to get him to change it. When she couldn’t she threatened us with abandoning/mistreating him when he was ill. She was a crafty ol’witch. They were married one year.
Dad did give my brother power of attorney over his money. When she put his ATM card in the machine the day he died it ate her card. Sweet revenge.
I hope we can leave our kids some, maybe even a life changer if we are lucky .But I am afraid we are one long term illness away from leaving nothing. Makes me want to start giving them money already…
It has been fairly interesting to watch the kids work through their own need to assign beneficiaries for their life insurance and 401’ks now that they have jobs of their own.
What do i expect to leave our daughters? No debt or mess to clean up…There will prob be something left and it will be divided but…
If live unfolds as I hope, there will be very little left for the kids to inherit. I hope to spend nearly all of my savings on experiences I share with my children and grandchildren if I’m blessed with any while I’m alive, and to give to charity when I see the outcome of my contribution. But if I die today, my trust gets everything and the kids, as sole beneficiaries, get 50/50 split when they reach age 25, with the caveat that they can withdraw from the trust before then for education only. I don’t want an early-life windfall to dis-incentivize (is that a word?) the kids from going to college and tackling life on their own, so that’s why they get nothing until age 25.
I hope my greatest gift to my children is a good college education that sets them up for fulfilling lives that are gratifying to them in ways that are not measured by money.