<p>As a college student I wanted to ask you adults…For my whole life I could never “get” what people get so excited about or what they have so much to talk about. To me, most conversation is stating the incredibly obvious and not worth discussing. I often find that I don’t have anything to say - except when I talk about nutrition, animals, and children. Then I feel interested. Those are really my only interests and my brain does not seem able to absorb anything else (like if I go to a movie I won’t remember who was in it 2 minutes later, or I can’t remember who the vice president is, or most current events the next day).</p>
<p>I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I would rather observe people than try to force myself to make conversation. I find being with people for long periods of time exhausting.</p>
<p>You remind me of the times my college son has no interest in taking the time to listen to what interests me but not him. However, you may also have some mild depression going on in addition to the arrogance of youth. Since you are in college you most likely have access to free counseling services through your school. I recommend that you talk to someone there- they can assess your individual situation and ease your mind about yourself in a painless way. Make the appointment now so you get it before the semester ends. From what you said in your post I could offer many more words of advice, but the bottom line is to get a professional’s opinion, not just parents who don’t know you, regardless of our professional backgrounds. If nothing else you will get a clean bill of mental health and know you speculations and lack of interest are normal- or you will get help for the subtle signs before you lose too much time.</p>
<p>Not disagreeing with Wis75, but for what it’s worth: do you think you have a problem or are other people just not interesting to you? You do have interests - and you enjoy talking about those interests. Fine, so you should find people who have those same interests. You might then find you care about those other things those people bring to the discussion. I used to think I had a personality problem, always finding large social situations awkward, etc. I would prefer to do my taxes than be invited to a dinner party. Then I took a Myers-Briggs test for work (you can google it and take a test online), it classifies people’s preferences into one of 16 personality “types.” It described me absolutely to a T. Very reassuring, so there isn’t something wrong with me, this is just the way I am, and so be it. Also helps identify types of work that would be better suited for me, like I should not be in sales for example!</p>
<p>I think I have a problem but I don’t know what it is. When I am with people I feel disinterested most of the time and kind of out of it, like I am watching but not interested in participating. I speak because I know I have to, but I have even had someone say to me “wow, you don’t speak with any feeling or excitement in your voice.” That’s cause I really don’t feel or feel excited.</p>
<p>One of the continuua contributing to those types is the scale from Introversion to Extroversion. You sound like a flaming “I.” If you’re an introvert, it’s not a negative or a problem any more than having one dominant hand or the other or having a particular eye color or another. It simply means that interaction with other people drains your energy instead of energizing you. It’s not a reason that you can’t be anything or act any way that you wish. I’m right-handed and if you hold a pen out to me, I’ll instinctively take it with my right hand. But if you ask me to hold my right hand behind my back, I’m fully capable of taking your pen with my left hand. And if it’s really important to me and I’m willing to put in the extra effort, I could practice writing with it in my left hand until I became pretty good at it. Likewise, an introvert can learn to ramp up the social energy when it’s called for and afterwards, seek some solitude to recharge (as a moderate “I,” I work in a highly interactive job and do this every day).</p>
<p>If the distinction between introversion and extroversion and the readily available coping strategies for learning to socialize as an “I” don’t seem plausible to you, then maybe you might be dealing with something along the lines of depression. In either case, your college Counseling Center can help you to understand personality typology and/or help you get screened for depression if you’ll go by and make an appointment.</p>
<p>OP,
What you are describing sounds like generalized apathy. You also sound a lot like me when I was your age. I was the type who always said, “Oh I don’t care what we do/ where we go, anything is fine, you choose,” because I really didn’t have a preference. I was envious of peers who had strong opinions and were passionate about “causes” because I just didn’t care about anything like that. I loved to attend social events, but I found conversations exhausting and preferred to listen and watch others rather than be the life of the party. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life, and made decisions about it as I went along only because I had to. I never loved any job I had, but I worked hard because that is what I was supposed to do and did well because of it. I tried a lot of hobbies, but didn’t feel the desire to stick with anything for long.</p>
<p>Looking back now, my life sounds like it was kind of pathetic, but it really wasn’t. I still made good friends, did well in school, was hired for good jobs. My internal apathy really didn’t seem to impair my achievement.</p>
<p>The two things in my life about which I finally became intensely passionate were the person I fell in love with (my H) and my children, and they have been more than enough to make me feel like I have a very fulfilling life.</p>
<p>You are still young and have so much left to experience in life, that you should not be discouraged about how you are feeling right now. Just try lots of things and keep an open mind and a positive attitude.</p>