We are having MIL/FIL and BIL/SIL and some others to dinner. After some debate with DS and DD yesterday we decided on roast leg of lamb. SIL found this out today and is miffed because she does not eat lamb, and informed DD that I was aware of this fact and that she would be bringing something else for her AND for her granddaughter, who is visiting. She also does not eat pork (except when she does), ham (except when she does), beef (except when she does), and doubtless numerous other things.
While we do often decide on a main course based on what she might actually consume, it doesn’t seem fair to always have to request that she provide us an acceptable menu. And no, she is not a vegetarian.
Do you cater to the picky guests? Do you make separate main courses? Just choose things you hope they will eat on any given day?
I cater to all of the guests. Sometimes it gets complicated. I feel your pain. I served 2 major entrees at Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving.
My mother in law just served 4 entrees at Christmas for 7 of us so she returned the favor!
I usually have another option. I made braised short ribs for dinner the other day and got a spiral sliced ham as an alternative. My sister is a vegetarian so I will make sure to have more sides when she’s over, but we still have turkey or whatever main course. If someone is that unpredictable, I wouldn’t go overboard for them. It’s a bummer not to be able to eat the main course, but personally I would always try to be a gracious guest if the tables were turned.
When in doubt, I make turkey something. Unless a real dietary (health or religious) need is involved, I don’t cater to the picky because I always have plenty of sides/salads/cheese tray thingies/etc. to go with the main course. (The young lady who protested the dead bird on the table ended up eating carrots and crackers…)
In our family not everyone likes everything. We usually have two different meat choices, and plenty of sides that will fill up those who are vegetarian. For the gluten free, kosher, and more restrictive diets, they bring their own food, which is fine with me.
Lamb is one of those meats that really doesn’t appeal to,everyone. I think I would make an alternate choice…,maybe a turkey breast or a ham.
I tend to try to gear company menus to the company if that’s a reasonable thing to do. So I too would avoid the lamb, though I love it, in favor of something more universally liked.
When my own kids were young and picky, I travelled with Chicken nuggets.
I try to take into account everyone’s issues. Not because of pickiness that changes every holiday like you describe, but general restrictions, whether dietary or voluntary. My Mom has Celiac, S is a vegetarian but has limited vegetarian preferences (he doesn’t expect catering to that, but i’m his Mom; I know what he likes.) Mom is also diabetic. I don’t eat pork anymore, and moving away from beef, and tend toward low carb (not very successfully during holiday season, though.)
At Mom’s yesterday for Christmas gathering, for eight people she made chicken parm, scallops, plus a vegetarian spaghetti sauce for her very beloved grandson :). Plus enough side veggies and bread to fill everyone.
As the picky vegetarian with UC, I beg people not to cater to me. I rarely know from one week to the next what my body is going to tolerate and that’s my issue, not my host’s. I’ll generally bring my own dish that I know I can eat.
I do try to include everyone’s preferences as best I can. Plenty of vegetarian and gluten free options. Obviously avoid any known allergies.
For those of us with very limited diets for whatever reason, imo, it’s on us to make sure we can eat rather than expecting the host to plan around us.
I try to have something everyone can eat, though I will confess I sometimes throw up my hands at my oldest who really only eats chicken white meat and bread happily. He doesn’t eat any vegetables except carrot sticks and raw red pepper. We had rack of lamb for Christmas dinner - he thinks it’s too fatty, but he eats it. Everyone else loves it.
I have an oddball allergy to,scallops…no other shellfish…just scallops. But if scallops are prepared in a kitchen at the same time as other foods, I can’t take the risk and eat the food. You just never know when someone uses a spoon or spatula in more than one dish.
I do not expect friends to cater to my allergy. That is my problem, not theirs. Most of my good friends and family will ask when they invite about allergies. I will mention mine…and that’s the end of it.
And yes,there have been times when I have eaten very little,as a guest. No big deal. It’s one meal.
I do not cater to picky eaters, but I do usually make enough of a variety of God when I have guests,that there should be something everyone can eat.
But really…in our family, we have gluten free, dairy free, nut free, vegan, vegetarian, celiac and crohns folks, and kosher. It’s almost impossible to cater to all of that. Thus a variety is served.
My D is celiac. Most of the dishes for Xmas were prepared gluten free so she could eat them, but only some desserts were. So be it. It’s considerate to have one dessert for her, but everything needn’t be.
I also distinguish between medical necessity and personal lifestyle choice. Typically vegetarianism falls into personal lifestyle choice. My H is pretty close to vegetarian, but so what - he will fill up on salads and sides instead of expecting a meatless main course. It’s his problem.
Yes I cater too. Hate to say it but what’s the point of hosting if some of your guests feel left out at the meal? At least you found out ahead of time and not at the dinner. I am not a picky eater at all and have the waistline to prove it, but I personally do not eat lamb, veal or game though if it was served, I would never let my host know. I would just fill up on sides.
Yep, growing a up in a kosher home, with lots of vegetarians, I always have lots of sides. I cannot recall the decades since eating lamb or veal. A 60 minutes show on how these items were produced, with animals standing in tiny stalls, turned me off for good. I’m susceptible.
I remember cringing when a cousin-in-law brought cheese to serve to her child, and placed the item on a meat plate. I expected my aunt would bury that plate and the silverware.
I would never in a million years as a guest tell someone what I will and won’t eat. That being said I don’t care for lamb either and would take a piece to be polite and cut it up and move it around and hide it under other things.
For thanksgiving I had 3 different meats. I make a zillion sides. You can’t please everyone with everything but I try and have options so people can find something.
"Hate to say it but what’s the point of hosting if some of your guests feel left out at the meal? "
The point is that the host can’t please everyone. If the majority of the guests is looking forward to my traditional dish and dreams about digging into it, I would not let one vocal picky eater poop the party for everyone else…
Bunsen, I didn’t say I would eliminate it, but I would offer a second more universal entree, that’s just being a great host. I also don’t agree that disliking lamb makes one a “picky eater.” As I said, I am hardly a picky eater, yet don’t find lamb or veal agreeable. I couldn’t even fake eat it, I would just pass on it. However, as a host, I would never presume to impose my tastes on my guests so I would offer some variety. Nor would I as a guest, verbalize my distaste of what my host offered me. It’s about enjoying good company. If the menu is all I’m looking forward to, I may as well just stay home and eat my own food.
I try to be polite, but don’t go overboard. We have a guest now who doesn’t eat beef. I asked her if she was Okay with others eating beef around her, or it being cooked on the same grill, and she assured me that was fine. So for one dinner, I served teriyaki beef and terriyaki chicken. One close cousin was vegetarian for many years, so I would try to make sure to have a more hearty veggie side than I might otherwise have.
Often, when I’m not sure about the guests, I have salmon and chicken, which usually go over pretty well. @thumper1, I too am allergic to scallops and no other shellfish. I’ve never heard of anyone else like that.
“Bunsen, I didn’t say I would eliminate it, but I would offer a second more universal entree, that’s just being a great host.”
and
“Hate to say it but what’s the point of hosting if some of your guests feel left out at the meal?”
Impossible to reconcile the two statements, unless the host has to eliminate the signature dish and provide the same main course for all. Me thinks no matter what the OP does, the party pooper will feel left out unless she, the pooper, gets to dictate the menu.
I host GF people, kosher people, vegans, vegetarians, you name it. If the reason is medical or religious, I will bend over to accommodate the guest. If I know a person with gluten allergy is coming, I will go out of the way to make sure no flour or bread or any other gluten-containing grains are used in the kitchen for a few days before the dinner (yup, I am a chemist and know how to handle things to avoid contamination, but I would do it just to be on the safe side). Ditto peanut products or shellfish. If someone says they will not sit at the table where a “dead bird” is being served, sorry, that is not my problem. If someone says they do not eat lamb today when the rest of the guests wants their lamb khinkali - tough life, the sides are plentiful and yummy.
so she returned the favor!