<p>Our daughter always performed well above her peers in elementary and middle school but when it came to actually having to work for her good grades, fell a bit short of an outstanding record, due to her sheer lack of interest in studying! She tested pretty well on standardized tests (National Merit Semi-Finalist, etc.) and got some very decent academic full rides to some very respectable LOC’s. If she had just applied herself, she would have had many options, which she now says she regrets. However, she is now at her third college (long story) and continues to do just so-so. I feel that she is floundering, and am worried. She just doesn’t seem to apply herself, gets into a hole, and then feels bad about herself, which leads her to performing worse. She has “high” graduate school aspirations, but at this rate, I am thinking that she may not make it in grad school. She is a very bright young woman, but just holds herself back. She has made reference to staying out a semester, or studying abroad. She is also drinking a bit, something she did not do before. I just keep sensing that all is not well, although she says she is o.k. I cannot get her to see that if she just does the work on time, she will excel! Anyone out there have experience with a bright under achiever? I feel very worried (and sad)!!</p>
<p>Does she have a “track” she is on for a course of studies - a major she feels confident and enjoys? Sounds like maybe she is just floundering and not feeling drawn in and invested to a course of study to help keep her on track. </p>
<p>Does she have a history of losing interest in things (activities, boyfriends, ec’s, etc.) quickly? </p>
<p>Just trying to get a better feel…</p>
<p>Could be ADD…just because she’s in college doesn’t mean she doesn’t have it (heck, I have it and I’m an old lady…) It presents differently in adults than in children but medication helps.</p>
<p>ADD sprang to my mind, too. I do have a gifted underachiever, a 10th grade boy, who was diagnosed last year. I don’t think the ADD is the only source of underachievement - years of unchallenging courses have taken their toll. I should also say that he is achieving at the highest levels in the classes he likes and on an independent science project that he is doing for credit. It’s hard to sort all these things out, but it does sound as if your daughter may be suffering from ADD or, perhaps, depression.</p>
<p>And, like Novelisto, I have ADD, too. Medication makes a tremendous difference.</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s a case of immaturity. Stopping out of college and working for a year may do wonders. If she has always had things come “easy” to her or if her life has always been organized by adults she might need to do something on her own.</p>
<p>The drinking is also a marker for Adult ADD…we tend to self-medicate if we don’t get help.</p>
<p>If she is still on your insurance, can you get her to a doctor? Check out the signs of ADD on the web and ask her, when she’d relaxed and happy over the holidays, if she recognizes these symptoms or feelings in herself.</p>
<p>Very same thought sprang to my mind. maltipoo, please see whether you recognize your daughter in these books: “Driven to Distraction” and “Delivered from Distraction” by Hallowell and Ratey.</p>
<p>I second worrywart’s suggestion - “Driven to Distraction” was an eye-opener for me. I saw S1 and life in our house described perfectly. I also saw myself, in spades, in the description of adults with ADD.</p>
<p>Is her curriculum interesting and challenging her? If not, then the problem may just be that she’s bored.</p>
<p>maltipoo,
In answer to your question(do you have a gifted underachiever?) - YES!!!
What you have described sounds exactly like my son, so I feel your pain! My suggestion, like others, is to have her tested by an educational psychologist or someone who specializes in ADD. We had my son tested and found out that while he is “profoundly gifted” he is also ADD inattentive type. He is now on medication which does help some and it also has helped my husband and I to understand all that has and continues to be a problem for him. He always tests very high but his grades in school are not that great due to missing or late homework. He continues to struggle with homework and motivation, so I am not sure how he will due in college. There is lots of information out there including an add forum (just google it) where you can talk to other parents or college students with add struggles.
Best of luck to you and your daughter!</p>
<p>NYMomof2,
Is your son on medication? If so do you mind if I ask what and if it seems to be working? We are on our 3rd med. now still trying to find something that works and will allow him to sleep once in awhile. So many issues to deal with, but I like you, also wonder if years of unstimulating classes have taken their toll.</p>
<p>This is the most pathetic thread I have ever read. </p>
<p>“Get her on some meds.” </p>
<p>“Couldn’t be her fault, something else must be responsible.”</p>
<p>“She might just not be interested, or it could just be that devil disease.”</p>
<p>What a cop out. Grow up, take responsibility for yourself instead of covering actual problems with the thin veil of medication.</p>
<p>jw, your callousness depresses me.</p>
<p>Jw – do you have children? Or even a pet? Telling people who may have valid medical concerns to ‘grow up and take responsibility for yourself’ is about as useful as telling someone with a broken leg to ‘suck it up and walk it off’. First you rule out medical issues, then work on other things…</p>
<p>I bet you tell depressed people to ‘cheer up and get a hobby.’</p>
<p>Did her so-so work begin in college, or did it start in high school?</p>
<p>Has she (or your family) undergone any major life events? Or anything significant worth noting? (deaths, bad relationships, etc.)</p>
<p>Dealing with super-smart kids can be complex because they have well developed coping mechanisms. </p>
<p>My daughter’s reading was delayed to second grade, but she was two grades ahead by 5th. All the teachers, ed specialists, and doctors never figured out that she was blind as a bat, until a nurse ran a simple test in Sophomore year of high school when my daughter complained of headaches.</p>
<p>schoolmom, My son, so far, has refused to even try medication. I took Concerta at a very low dose (18 mg) for a couple of months, and it made a major difference. Besides the expected effects (better focus, clearer mind), it also made me see things about my life and relationships more clearly, and made me feel stronger and able to take action. One very striking thing was that driving in traffic was much easier. Somehow I was able to effortlessly integrate all the incoming information about other vehicles on the road, their positions and speeds, etc. Taking those pills made an immediate and profound difference in my life. It was easy to eat the way I should and to get myself to the gym. Somehow, “Just do it,” became easy. I lost some weight and felt much better.</p>
<p>The plan was to gradually increase the dose, and I took 36 mg pills for two days. Both evenings, I had pronounced tightness in my chest. I did not associate this with the medication until the 2nd day. I immediately stopped taking it and called the doctor, who referred me to a cardiologist as a precaution (no risk factors). I saw one and had a thorough checkup, and a stress test, and all seemed well. This took several months to take care of, and I have not gotten my act together to get back to the doctor. I am afraid to take the 36 mg again, but I will probably go back to the 18 mg. I occasionally take one of those pills (I have a few leftover) because it is hard to live in my unmedicated mind now that I know what it is like to have the meds.</p>
<p>I hate the idea of taking these pills, but my life is much better with them. I wish my son would give them a try.</p>
<p>maltipoo, I wonder if your daughter knows how to study? My son’s idea of studying is to read the material he’s going to be tested on; it has never occurred to him to go over a section several times to try to memorize something (vocabulary, parts of a whatever, formulas), for example, because he has never had to. I didn’t learn how to study until I was well into college, and it wasn’t until my fourth college at that. (Being older helped some, too, as in, I knew I had to do something different from what I’d always done… or not done.)</p>
<p>I don’t have experience with ADD nor with diagnosing it, but I do have a lot of experience with getting a kid evaluated for various things. If you think your daughter might have ADD, be depressed, whatever, my advice is to look for a generalist to do the diagnosis, and use a specialist for treatment. My experience with those who have a special expertise in an area brings to mind the expression, “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” (I’m sure there are many specialists who wouldn’t bring that expression to mind, but I’ve run across precious few of them, alas.)</p>
<p>could she be dealing with depression?</p>