<p>None of my “biological” kids are big eaters so food has never been an issue in our house. Until we took in our last foster son - a giant of a football player (think Michael Oher from The Blindside). I thought things were going great until his CASA told us that he said “I’m starving!” He had been too polite to tell me that he wasn’t getting enough food! AFter that he always got twice (or three times) the portion that everyone else did - plus I found out that 2 or 3 PB&J sandwiches after school would tide him over til dinner!! He left us in August and I dearly miss my giant resource hog!! (He still comes by our house after school occasionally to eat! I know when he’s been in the house - there is no food left!)</p>
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@pizzagirl - respectfully, you obviously have never had your husband thoughtfully buy you a special treat (Pepperidge Farm cookies to be enjoyed with your morning coffee) and had a 17yo eat them in 5min…not knowing they were a special treat, simply ‘Oh wow, cookies. Cool!!’. The son then feels bad when dad tells them ‘Hey, not cool. Those were for your mom.’</p>
<p>There are generally cookies in the house for the kids, but no we are not in the financial position that we can provide an unlimited supply of Pepperidge Farm cookies. I make no apologies for that, nor do I feel sorry for my kids. If we are out of cookies, I promise you there is something in the fruit bowl. They want for nothing. They are great kids. When we splurge on a bakery item, you bet that they take a mental note of the number of servings and what their fair share should be. It’s not a matter of going to the store to simply buy another bakery item if they want more. That’s not the point. There is always something for them to eat, just pick something else after you’ve had your share. My kids will honestly check with each other before polishing off ice cream to see if everyone has had at least some.</p>
<p>I get that you don’t understand it if you have come from a different family dynamic, however I’m sure you understand that families have different ways of dealing with any number of things.</p>
<p>I’m with Pizzagirl. If there is something I know they love, then we make sure there’s enough to go around. If I can’t afford Pepperidge Farm cookies for the kids, then I’d buy a small bag and keep them in my room. Rationing food is what causes them to binge when it’s there.</p>
<p>^ What’s the difference between having a bag of cookies set aside for mom in the kitchen, and putting them in your room? I don’t think my boys are at any risk of bingeing on anything. They eat when they are hungry, they don’t when they are not. We have a healthy mix of food in the house and don’t deny sweets. My kids all have their own money and access to the store either by car or bike. They don’t spend their money on a type of cookies they have been ‘denied’ in the house. When they want something we are out of, it goes on the list. Simple. If the family budget doesn’t allow for something on a regular basis and dad wants to treat mom once in a while, I really don’t think this is an issue of being cruel to the kids, or encouraging an unhealthy relationship with food that will lead to problems.</p>
<p>My mom always kept a stash of “her” candy in the back of a kitchen drawer (the one with all the lids!) It wasn’t til I was an adult that I found out where she stashed it. But the grandkids discovered it right away!</p>
<p>Our DD hides food because she has 2 brothers who can go throw a box of cookies in 1 minute, plus, we have always had an open door policy for their friends. DS1 can manage to have 5 of his buds hang for hours and clean us out even if I went grocery shopping that day. She on the other hand could have 5 of her BFFS stay for a week and we still would have food left over.</p>
<p>It really to me is a son/daughter issue. They eat differently. </p>
<p>I have circumvented this issue by buying things that I know each kid likes, but the others don’t, thus they don’t have to hide food.</p>
<p>I also buy large quantities if I know all of them like it so it will last longer and they won’t hide it.</p>
<p>3bm, I like certain things, but I would never bring that food into my room, because if you ever lived in the south you know buggies are everywhere, I prefer not to sleep with bugs.</p>
<p>I am also with blueiguana, kids are like dogs, if you free feed them they are less likely to gorge on food. However, as I stated, if you have a house where the kids friends pop in and out without notice and eat everything, but the kitchen sink, than kids will hide because they know that Mom just did the grocery shopping and is unlikely to go tomorrow to replace it.</p>
<p>Doesn’t anyone have any emotional resource hogs in their family? Our D, who is indeed a darling, is an attention resource hog. She has always been this way, even though she has hardly been neglected. She doesn’t like being left out of anything, even adult affairs. When she’s home from college, we know there will be no outings, especially dinner dates, that don’t include her. If H & I sit on the couch together, she immediately plops down between us. If big brother is getting too much attention, she sulks. Same with the dog! Big brother, who is temperamentally the opposite, just rolls his eyes at her. It would be unbearable if she didn’t have a sense of humor about it, but fortunately, she is old enough now to see how silly she is behaving and will parody herself.</p>
<p>Ever seen the show,Locked Up Abroad? Well, our family LIVED the drama.Our eldest son was locked up in China for 8 months,and we spent our retirement funds to get him out! Like 60k !We even had to borrow some.He’s back here in the US now, and we told him you only get 1 “Get out of jail” pass! Yes, he was guilty of the charges,but with a good attorney, and no wittnesses he was sent home( we paid for the ticket) It was complete agony as we had no direct communication with him !</p>
<p>fauxmaven, I hope your son really appreciates what you’ve done for him.</p>
<p>faux,
you’ve lived thru a nightmare. At least you have your son home safe. Traumatic for all.</p>
<p>faux-and I thought paying for college was bad. . .TG your son is safe.</p>
<p>LOL garland–I think they teach “How to inhale meals in 30 seconds or less” in medical school. H CONSUMES a lot of food, but he doesn’t seem to taste or savor it at all. And he is overweight.<br>
I’m a slow eater. I sometimes buy special treats for myself and hide them so I can enjoy a few pieces of candy or a couple cookies at a time. I always have boxes of the cheap cookies/snacks around for kids who want to load up on them.
(Why should the good stuff be “wasted” on folks who can’t appreciate it? 
)</p>
<p>Some kids demand more attention. One wants hugs. One wants to be listened to for hours with no interruptions. One wants you to work with him. Some have mile-long wish lists. Others want NOTHING for Christmas. One always leaves the lights on, one uses up all the hot water, one eats all the junk food . . .
Yes, I do have an emotional resource hog, and it seems to be the kid that is most “on my wavelength” that gets me to worry. This is the kid that wants to “be heard and understood.” Love the kid, but this wears me out.</p>
<p>Re the post that thinks parents should just buy more cookies or what-have-you, and keep a lot on hand so there’s always enough to go around…</p>
<p>There are so many reasons why that isn’t feasible unless you have a near perfect situation in your home…</p>
<p>1) lots of money to fund all these loads of food.</p>
<p>2) no one with a weight problem in the home (many families have at least one person with a weight problem. So, buying more just worsens the problem and the others still won’t get their shared.)</p>
<p>3) no one who will fill up on junk food and then won’t eat nutritional foods.</p>
<p>4) family not on a closely watched food budget so that the mortgage and utility bills can also get paid</p>
<p>5) enough fridge and/or pantry space to store all these endless goodies.</p>
<p>6) not many family members in the home. </p>
<p>7) have the time to go grocery shopping on any given day to restock whatever got mowed through the night before. </p>
<p>In reality, families who are on budgets, have weight issues, have nutrition issues, and/or have largish families cannot just “buy more” to solve the problem.</p>
<p>I could go on, but…</p>
<p>I hadn’t thought about this but I tend to save treats (or potential leftovers) for the kids. I’ll always ask if they want it before I eat it. DH, on the other hand, will just eat it. Difference between nurturing moms & um, clueless dads? If you saw him you would know he doesn’t NEED the calories…</p>
<p>Youngest son is the best one about asking does anyone want some of this before he takes the last piece. I wonder if he feels like he’s just another mouth to feed! Just kidding.</p>
<p>My mother grew up on a farm in a family of 11 kids, and they used to say, if you tripped over a root running to the house for dinner, there wouldn’t be anything left for you. :D</p>
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<p>I’m sorry, I just don’t think it’s very healthy to have (say) the Pepperidge Farm cookies around “but not for <em>your</em> consumption, heavy kid.”</p>
<p>Not naming names but yes emotional resource hog. And as far as food I rarely shop at Costco because as I like to say my kids don’t consider it is supposes to last they consider it a challenge to see how fast they can finish it off! With a smaller family it just ends up being over consumption.</p>
<p>I have a sock hog. Do you guys have sock hogs? The ones that apparently need new socks what seems like every other day. The sock monster must come up and eat them all, I swear.</p>
<p>S is a big water hog - 2 showers a day…and he is not an athlete.</p>
<p>D is a grazer so I have to stop S & H from hovering over her plate after they have devoured their own. I have forbidden them from continually asking her if she is finished so they can help themselves. LOL!</p>
<p>The food I have to ration are the Jo-Jo’s from Trader Joe’s available only at Christmas. I only bring out one box at a time so that all in the house can enjoy. These are the only cookies I ever buy so they are well-received.</p>
<p>I find it odd that some cannot understand the concept of special occasion foods. There is no food that is prohibited in our house, but there are limits based on nutrition, cost, availability. Isn’t that what makes holiday meals so special?</p>
<p>When my 2 younger sons went to college, all the lost socks turned up in sheets ,the TV couch,and under beds.I tried to only buy 1 type, but each son would only wear a particular brand. I know you are thinking what an indulgent mom, and you are right !I found at least 20-30 socks when they moved out .Now they mostly buy their own stuff, and they are more careful !</p>
<p>Time in the shower:</p>
<p>DD not allowed to take very long showers here at home.</p>
<p>However, she does take long showers at her college. I believe the light in the dorm bathroom is on a 30 minute timer. She showers very late at night. More than once the light turned off. She learned to stick her leg out of the shower to trip the light back on.</p>
<p>*Quote:
Re the post that thinks parents should just buy more cookies or what-have-you, and keep a lot on hand so there’s always enough to go around…</p>
<p>There are so many reasons why that isn’t feasible unless you have a near perfect situation in your home…</p>
<p>1) lots of money to fund all these loads of food.</p>
<p>2) no one with a weight problem in the home (many families have at least one person with a weight problem. So, buying more just worsens the problem and the others still won’t get their share.)*</p>
<p>Pizzagirl’s response:***
I’m sorry, I just don’t think it’s very healthy to have (say) the Pepperidge Farm cookies around “but not for <em>your</em> consumption, heavy kid.” ***</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>Please clarify. I don’t quite understand your response. (And I don’t have any overweight kids BTW. My kids are slim.). </p>
<p>Are you saying that someone with an overweight child shouldn’t ever have any cookies in the house or what? Are you saying that someone with an overweight child should not ration out sweets to help the child with his/her weight issue? I don’t think anyone was saying that they wouldn’t give ANY sweets ever to an overweight child. </p>
<p>And, the issue wasn’t just about sweets, it was about all food. Not sure what your point is.</p>