<p>I just found out that I have an eye problem which, although it isn’t particularly worrisome, is going to involve at least five eye doctor appointments a year.</p>
<p>This came on top of the doctor’s appointments I already need to have because I have high blood pressure and osteoporosis, as well as histories of both skin cancer and colon polyps. And of course, there are routine things like mammograms, too.</p>
<p>In other words, I’m a pretty typical 56-year-old.</p>
<p>But my boss and her boss are both in their thirties. They have minimal medical needs. And I’m worried that by openly requesting time off for medical things, I’m making a bad impression on them. </p>
<p>So I’ve started sneaking around – saying that I need time off for another reason when what I’m really going to do is go to a doctor’s appointment. But this means using up my limited vacation time rather than my abundant sick time. And I could get caught. </p>
<p>If you’re in your fifties or older, what do you do? Are you honest about your medical needs at work? Or do you try to conceal them?</p>
<p>Medical conditions are typically covered by ADA. If you are concerned, you should approach HR. </p>
<p>A few questions: Have you been at the company for several years? Are you hourly or salary? Have your performance reviews been satisfactory? Can you schedule your appointments before or after work or on the weekends. (I found a local mammogram place that has 6am appointments 2 days/week). If your appointments don’t interfere with your performance, it should not be an issue.</p>
<p>I’m salaried, but I’ve only been on the job for 11 months and have not yet had a performance review. I have not had to ask for time off beyond what I’m entitled to – I still have several days’ worth of vacation and sick time coming to me, and I don’t anticipate using it up before I earn more.</p>
<p>I switched to a dentist who has Saturday hours so that I can cut down on the number of appointments during the work day (and also so I can pretend that some of my medical appointments are really dental appointments, which are less indicative of aging), but I haven’t found any other health professionals whom I can see outside of business hours. In particular, the ophthalmologist, who is becoming a major player in my life, works 9 to 5.</p>
<p>Nobody has actually said anything to me yet, but it’s obvious that I miss work for different reasons than my superiors do. For them, it’s issues with their children – snow days and kids’ illnesses and parent-teacher conferences and the like. Missing work for those types of reasons is socially acceptable at our office, and the company is very supportive of parents. But there are only a small number of older workers, and I’m not sure whether they’re supportive of us.</p>
<p>I live overseas, and I like doctors in the US better. I was recently told I may have high blood pressure and possibly heart problem. In the last 2 months I made 2 trips home to get everything checked out. I had my firm pay for one trip and paid for my current trip myself. I was up front with my boss and I told him to stop stressing me out. The short story is I am fine, but I made sure I took care of my health. My boss is fine with me taking time off and he is not p*ssing me off.</p>
<p>I am also on the other side where I have a lot of people asking me for time off for various reasons. I have one pregnant woman who has faked fainting at work, heart problem, bleeding, all related to her pregnancy. Not once has she able to produce a diagnosis. I cut her no slack. If she is late or not at work, I email her and make sure she gets her butt to work. On the other hand, I have people who drag themselves to work, go over and beyond, I always encourage them to take the time to be with their family and go see a doctor when necessary.</p>
<p>No, I don’t see why you need to hide your doctor’s appointments from your boss. I am sure your 30 something boss takes time off for their kids unexpected illness or family emergencies. But I think it would go a long way if you were to put in extra hours or take some work home if necessary.</p>
<p>Cross posted with you Marian. The bottom line we all need time off to take care of personal stuff. As long as you are doing a good job, your boss should have no issue with you taking some time off.</p>
<p>I work for a government contractor. Because there are limits to how much we can bill, the managers don’t want people on our contract working (and billing) more than 40 hours a week. </p>
<p>But we can adjust our hours, and we can make up missed time if we do it during the same half-month pay period. Would it look better if I made up the time that I spend at doctor’s appointments rather than using my sick time or vacation time for this purpose?</p>
<p>Marian - I don’t how it actually works at your firm about time off. How do other people do it when it comes to child care issues? Do they take vacation days? I had someone who was getting paid hourly, he used to put in few hours extra when he needed to learn a new tool without booking it. I was very impressed by his effort, so I used to pay him for bank holidays even thiugh he wasn’t entitled to it. I think a good PC thing to do would be to use your sick days, but work late or skip lunch to let your boss know you are getting your work done.</p>
<p>Also double or triple up on appointments if you can. Eye dr, mammogram, get checked by dermatologist. Eye dr, colonoscopy. Eye dr, regular physician…and can you find a lab which is open early enough in the morning to get blood work done without being late?
I know there are laws protecting you but yes, a healthy 30 year old boss is in a different world.
I feel for you.</p>
<p>My boss is in his mid-sixties and his boss is in his late 50s to early 60s. Most of my peers are in their 50s. We send email to the group when we’re going to be out and generally the reason for it. Our boss has gone through all of the stuff that we’re going through now so he can provide advice on a wide range of dealing with medical problems and that’s pretty helpful to all of us.</p>
<p>In general, we can work wherever we have an internet connection so I can work at a doctors office (I can do email on my 3G iPad or other work if the office has WiFi).</p>
<p>I do not know of any 30-year-old managers where I work; there are a few in their 30s but most are in their 40s or older.</p>
<p>With the new AAADA amendments, just about anything is a disability. Any employer who says a word about medical appointments or who doesn’t fully accommodate them is being very foolish.</p>
<p>I am in my early 50’s and my boss is a woman, 3 years older than me. My PCP and dentist have Saturday or evening hours, as do the lab and pharmacy. I try to do multiple appointments if I have to take a day off. For instance, the Friday before Labor Day (a very slow day in my field), I had blood work, a mammo, an endoscopy and an appointment with a fat pig surgery doctor. That’s the only one I am secretive about. I needed to do a sleep study so I went on a Friday night. However, my boss is usually pretty cool if we have an appointment as long as we don’t do it in the morning when court coverage is required. I just prefer to keep my business as private as possible.</p>
<p>If you have an uneasy feeling about how your 30 year old boss might view your medical issues, you are probably right. Just because it is illegal for him to penalize you for taking medical leave you have earned doesn’t mean he won’t. I think you are wise to try to stay under the radar. Good luck.</p>
<p>One thing I read was that, other things being equal, a primary care doctor who is the same gender and similar or slightly older age as you may be more likely to know from personal experience the kinds of medical issues you may encounter.</p>
<p>Just because there is ADA doesn’t mean an employer won’t find another ostensible reason to let a worker go. S/he would have to be pretty stupid (and yes, I know they are out there) to actually fire someone due to a health issue. It is outrageous that we have to worry about this, but the fact is, older workers, pregnant workers, highly-paid workers are let go every day. I would keep quiet about the health issues, try to become indispensible, get along with everyone. You do NOT want to lose your job at the age of 56.</p>
<p>I think that if you are allowed to use comp time to shift your hours to avoid using sick days or vacation days, then you should do so. That way you haven’t taken any time off and no one can complain, or justify asking much about your absence, since (over the course of a week’s work) you really weren’t absent.</p>
<p>I just assumed that young parents hid their own kid-related absences. Your young coworkers are lucky to work in a supportive environment.</p>
<p>I don’t think younger workers have to hide kid stuff as much as we did. It seems as if more policies are general “personal” days that can accompany whatever the need is.</p>
<p>My H has a chronic lung disease, well managed and in remission. It requires 2 dr. visits per year. They end up requiring the day due to their distance. Even though he was using sick days for these 2, yes 2, absences per year, (and he never takes any other sick days) his HR made him do the lengthy FMLA paperwork. It’s lengthy. The dr. wasn’t happy and neither was H.</p>
<p>Very lucky indeed. I wish I had discovered this company 20 years ago – but then again, they might not have been so family-friendly 20 years ago.</p>
<p>I try to cluster routine appointments and schedule them during the less busy times of the year…but many women of all ages will have 2 dental appointments, a mammogram, annual physical and perhaps an eye appointment every year. Many people have to see their physician more than one time of year because of a medication they may be on. Everyone has “medical” days…either because they are sick and need to stay home or they have some medical or dental think that will consume a day or a half day.</p>
<p>Employers and managers know these things. The only time I’ve seen employees ‘get in trouble’ is when they abuse the system. They take three or four hours for a routine appointment. They continually schedule in the middle of the day instead of early in the morning or late in the afternoon or over lunch requiring a half day out of the office. OP I would just be smart about scheduling, which it sounds like you are and you should be fine. You don’t owe anyone an “explanation” for your appointments but somethings like an annual mammogram or the dental cleaning are so common it doesn’t hurt to give an explanation. You also don’t want people speculating about any frequent absences either. So pick and choose when you “offer” up an explanation, otherwise “I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning at 8, I’ll be in by 9:30” or something like that should be sufficient.</p>
<p>@OP
What a well-written post, and so timely for many of us parents!</p>
<p>I agree with those who say, “When in doubt, don’t mention it”, but it’s hard not to be truthful, isn’t it? We’re used to “no discrimination”, but that’s not the reality of the workplace nowadays, regardless of its illegality.</p>