<p>A pollyannaish person is someone who is always optimistic, almost to the point of naivet</p>
<p>Yes. And as bad as it sounds, this person is hard to be around. Sometimes you just want someone to hand you a pint of ice cream and agree with you, that at times, life can suck.</p>
<p>Where do “realistic optimists” fit into your scenario? The type of person where the glass is mostly 1/2 full? I’m one of those & like being around similar folk. I get tired of the toxic glass is always 1/2 empty & even often cracked types.</p>
<p>“An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadow. An idealist, however, is one who sees the lights and the shadows, but in addition sees something else: possibility of changing the picture of making the lights prevail over the shadows.” Felix Adler</p>
<p>That’s my goal, but I tend towards optimism and I am rarely disappointed by people.</p>
<p>OK, I guess I’m an mostly an idealist under your definition. People have rarely disappointed me & have learned to make lemonade that is pretty tasty.</p>
<p>D1. And she is a joy to live with.</p>
<p>Relentless cheeriness is kind of wearying, but I do like an optimist! Especially the ones who keep it to themselves. ;)</p>
<p>I had to look up Pollyanna on Wikipedia. Here is part of the plot summary from the original novel of that name:</p>
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<p>When bad things happen, it is important to acknowledge them, not simply brush them off.</p>
<p>I think this is the aspect of Pollyanna-ishness that rubs me the wrong way.</p>
<p>When taken to extremes, it could put an end to any kind of rebelliousness or revolutionary spirit. (“At least Hitler is good for morale!”)</p>
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<p>Agreed. There’s being an optimist and then there’s being in denial. For example, I have a friend whose husband is an alcoholic. A functioning one but nevertheless, an alcoholic who gets drunk every single weekend. The friend has very much a ‘pollyannaish’ personality and claims it doesn’t bother her. Maybe it doesn’t but I can guarantee her three kids are going to be * hugely * affected, for life, by having an alcoholic father.</p>
<p>This person, rather than saving for her kids college, is certain her straight A, 3rd and 5th graders will get full scholarships somewhere. When I point out that a lot can change between 4 grade and graduation, she thinks I’m being negative.</p>
<p>IMHO, it’s important to strike a balance between being an optimist and being a realist. I like the Felix Alder quote. Might have to pin that one to my bulletin board. That is how I try to live my life. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.</p>
<p>Pollyannaish…my H is not cheerful, but he just never things anything bad will happen to us/him. Divorce, cancer, that’s for other people. He truly is always shocked and dismayed when peple get divorced (while half the time I’m wondering how the marriage lasted as long as it did.)</p>
<p>Nothing wrong with being optimistic. It gets annoying when the person sees good in everything to the point of “are you kidding?”. Dismissing any negativity, your feelings and making you feel like there is something wrong with you if you are not feeling the same.
I don’t like Pollyanna people. There is a difference in being upbeat, positive and joyous with being ms sunshine at all cost.</p>
<p>I do know some, but (even though I’m a curmudgeonly old cynic) I tend to find them inspiring when they’re sincere optimists. An elderly man I knew who suffered terribly with heart and kidney disease for the last few years of his life recently died. He’d always been optimistic - even joyful - and amazingly, his attitude never really changed. He was quite intelligent and accomplished, so I couldn’t call him naive; he and his wife faced several challenges before his illness, so he wasn’t sheltered. I think of him often (Harry, you made this a better world, and we miss you). </p>
<p>I agree, though, that one must acknowledge losses and problems in order to work through them. Maybe the Pollyannas out there can do this faster and more internally than the rest of us. The Disney movie did bug me as a kid, certainly.</p>
<p>I’m an optimist the vast majority of time. I can be a realist but I find it a waste of time and energy to be a pessimist. I have one pessimistic son and it’s exhausting.</p>
<p>My Pollyannish friend was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer over 5 years ago at the age of 28. She was not expected to live much longer than a couple of months. However, she refused to give in and kept her positive attitude. She lived until last month, and was sweet, kind, and optimistic until the very end. I really do think her attitude helped her live those 5 extra years.</p>
<p>mousegray, why would you want them to keep their optimism to themselves?</p>
<p>Maybe there will be a remake of the movie.</p>
<p>My H is a total Pollyanna. He sees the best in E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. He has the thickest rose-colored glasses ever. He says he chooses to be that way, it makes his life easier and happier. I am a realist, and it drives me NUTS. Maybe I worry too much, but when something goes wrong, which one of us do you think has foreseen the possibility and made contingency plans? That would be me.</p>
<p>D has inherited H’s rose-colored glasses. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes not. Example of not good:
Me: D, eat your vegetables.
D: I hate veggies. I’m 18 and I don’t have to eat them.
Me: They prevent cancer.
D: I’m not going to get cancer.
(Our family joke is that D’s gravestone will say, “Really, I’m fine.”) </p>
<p>She can be very gullible/naive, which I worried about when she went to college, but she seems to be street-smart when it really matters (about things like frat parties). The problem comes when she ignores little negatives in friendships, etc, and ends up being deeply hurt by friends she thought she could trust. This has happened to her more than once.</p>
<p>Kajon, if you’re interested, you can watch “Pollyanna” on YouTube.</p>
<p>[YouTube</a> - Pollyanna Part 1](<a href=“Pollyanna Part 1 - YouTube”>Pollyanna Part 1 - YouTube)</p>
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There is a difference in being optimistic, positive thinking and pollyannaish. The latter dismisses negativity as not being relevant. They refuse to address that aspect. They do not look at the healthy debate of some negativity and what that can help us do to create better.
<a href=“http://www.suite101.com/content/positive-thinking-and-pollyanna-a20333[/url]”>http://www.suite101.com/content/positive-thinking-and-pollyanna-a20333</a></p>
<p>Good link, MilkandSugar. That is definitely a more emotionally healthy way of dealing with life.</p>
<p>One thing I have learned in cognitive therapy is you need to acknowledge there is a problem, feel your feelings and then move on to solve or at least deal with the problem. Not admitting there is a problem (ore refusing to plan ahead for life’s inevitable challenges e.g. college, retirement, etc. ) or wallowing in negativity are simply two side to the same coin called unhealthy thinking.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s any easier to be around people who are totally optimistic than it is to be around people who are always negative. There is something very superficial about a person who can’t acknowledge life’s challenges. </p>
<p>IMO, there is a big difference between saying ,“Yes, this is a challenge but I’m going to try and be positive and deal with it the best I can” and saying, “Problem? There’s no problem, everything is perfect.”</p>