<p>I have a 21 and 20 year old. I have started taking them along to meeting with financial advisers and reviews, if the opportunity presents itself. We didn’t do it earlier because we figured the children were not mature then, and the knowledge may somehow take away their motivation to be independent. I think it’s very important to be savvy about personal finances and investments so letting sit in on the meetings would give them a good foundation. They get to hear our questions (we had been investing for over 25 years so we are relatively knowledgeable) and hear the answers. </p>
<p>I do not know about my parent’s financial affairs nor do I know about their will. I have an inkling of course and they do not make it a point to be secretive. My ILs were not clear about theirs, in fact they deliberately underestimated their net worth to their other son, which caused a lot of problems among the siblings after they passed. </p>
<p>It is with this in mind that I thought I should be open with my children once I am comfortable that our financial situation is not going to be detrimental to our childrens’ motivation. I am curious how is it with other families ?</p>
<p>We talk “generally” about finances but don’t have a financial planner. They are only concerned at this point that there is enough money for them to attend the colleges they are accepted at and want to attend.
Down the road we probably be more inclusive of them in our discussions of finances (honestly H & I rarely discuss them–probably should talk more about it among ourselves).
We don’t have much info about our parent’s finances. I know about hubby & his sibblings investments – they hold some real estate together, since hubby & I handle whatever comes up with these investments.
Our kids really don’t want to know more at this point. We have reassured them that they will not have to support us in our old age and we will be able to get them through undergrad. That’s about all they want to know for now.</p>
<p>I roughly let them know how much but they don’t know exactly because D2 is too young to know. But I keep emphasize that these are our money not theirs, so they need to make a lot of money themselves. My in-laws told my husband years ago when my daughter was young how much they would give him but they have not mentioned anything in particular recently. But they also have repeatedly told us once they are gone to keep the money for ourselves and not to let the girls spend it. The same advice they told my SIL. Their reasoning is that we will be getting too old to work while the girls are still young and should be able to work and earn some money.</p>
<p>With H out of work for over 18 months and D applying to grad school, I have been very specific and blunt about our financial situation. She is 23 and ready to take on the world and grad school on her own nickel. (at least thats what I keep telling myself)</p>
<p>16 year old D knows everything and has known for a couple years. No offense, DH, but if anything were to happen to me, D would be the more responsible one with the finances. Besides, it won’t be long before she will be on her own and this is one skill she won’t be thrown into on top of all the other new adult-y things.</p>
<p>We have always been completely open about our finances with both kids from a fairly young age. To the extent they have shown interest, we have shared our spreadsheets on income, savings, losses, investment strategies, etc. My H handles my mother’s investments (only living parent), so we obviously know her finances inside and out. We just don’t see any need for secrecy. The kids know how to be discrete and I believe they have learned how to make smarter investment decisions with their own savings through frequent example and discussion.</p>
<p>I can see some families have more mature children than ours. Only 1 year ago, daughter was commenting how “rich” we are when I did a print out of our bank balances before we embarked on a long trip. We then started showing how far the bank money would go with their college and living expenses and she understood finances a bit better. I was worried she thought she can use the money to spend on summer vacations to Europe and Coach bags. </p>
<p>On both sides of our family we have financially irresponsible members, so secrecy was used to shield parents/ responsible members from unending demands for help. For a while I didn’t know how my children are going to turn out.</p>
<p>My kids know that we’re the “poor relations” and are careful with their spending as are many of their “wealthier” cousins and other relatives. They have good role models for fiscal responsibility so we have not really discussed it much. They see hubby & I do a lot of comparision shopping before purchases and they do the same. They know we rarely purchase things “on a whim” but buy things of lasting value. They both had assignments in HS where they had to calculate how much you needed to earn in order to have a decent place to rent, money for food and transportation plus other essentials. They decided they would need to earn much more than they could at the jobs offered to most HS kids & kids without enough education.</p>
<p>They have not been very curious about the family finances, other than being reassured we should not need their help financially as we age & we can help them with their undergrad ed. Neither of them has requested things we consider extravagant & S has turned into a better shopper than anyone I’ve ever met!</p>
<p>My parents have always been stubborn about sharing their financial situation with me. In retrospect, I agree that this was probably a wise decision when I was younger. Now, however? I -need- to know. </p>
<p>They had been giving me a chunk of money for rent and expenses every month. They did not tell me that doing so was preventing them from shoring up their savings. They did not tell me that if my dad’s generally unstable job (he’s a contractor on an annually-renewable contract) fell through, there would be trouble. So it was with great shock and panic that they told me that they wouldn’t be able to give me that money anymore – on December 27th, 4 days before my rent was due and during the middle of the holiday season where even retail jobs are rather difficult to get.</p>
<p>Knowing is important if parental finances in directly affect student lives.</p>
<p>I’ve started telling 17 yo son about finances with more specificity (we are figuring out college funding). I told him generally, prior. He’s a little bummed (“I can’t go to college” – but, he can). However, I have yet to see him ante up & start his part-time job that he’s got lined up, son not sure if the lesson has sunk in!</p>
<p>Money was completely a non-topic when I was growing up – I would have preferred to know; it would have provided some important training, understanding and motivation.</p>
<p>Hope I’m not going too far in the other direction (TMI) w/son…</p>
<p>Being honest and open with my kids sure wouldn’t make them less independent; it could only make them more so! We have, almost, gotten them through school, but after that our plans are based on as shrinking an income as we can make work, so they certainly know they can’t expect a whole lot from us in the long run. they pretty much know the details.</p>
<p>My parents never talked to me about their finances. My mother handled them all, my dad was totally hands off about it. Perhaps that’s how my mother squirreled away a gigantic chunk of money while my dad thought we were barely getting by on his salary.</p>
<p>I talk to my kids about some of the finances, but they don’t have the full picture. I’ve seen too many people get real with their kids about where the money goes and suddenly the kid feels they have a say in how money is spent - no thank you, don’t want that at all.</p>
<p>In general, I’ve spoken to my children about money management, explained how credit cards work, how check cashing businesses work, about protecting one’s assets - those sorts of things and more.</p>
<p>You need to realize that years ago I saw a teen boy scream at his mother for spending so much money going to the ice cream parlor because she was spending his inheritance! If all we are is bags of money, I’d rather be less revealing about the specifics and keep to the concepts.</p>
<p>I have and still do ask the kids to plan dinner menus and such and work it within a certain budget - as a challenge so they can see how far money goes (or doesn’t). They do know somewhat about utility expenses.</p>
<p>But besides finances, I’ve also taught my kids to cook, clean, sew (in addition to potty training, dressing themselves, and feeding themselves)…it’s all part of the package in my opinion.</p>
<p>As my dad used to say, you can only teach your kids so much - the rest they have to learn on their own and hopefully they don’t kill themselves in the meantime.</p>
<p>I wish my parents did this. I asked earlier in the year if they would be fine still paying for my college after my dad stopped working, and they said yes. But then they slapped on some loans about a month ago right out of nowhere! I feel financially inept and they have not taught me any of what I know (which is little).</p>
<p>My mother told me everything about her finances when I was a preteen. Bills, paychecks, everything. Sometimes it was good because it gave me a valuable understanding of money - I honestly can’t imagine how much one would miss out on if one’s parents gave them no finance information - but sometimes she was too vocal about bills, and it made me feel guilty when I needed her to purchase things for me.</p>
<p>I have started talking to the kids about managing money & investments - hence the meetings with financial advisers. I want them to watch what questions we asked and what answers were given. Then we go over the meeting with comments afterwards. Last week we took them to an adviser and funded (very small amount) their first IRA type account for them. We let them pick the investment vehicle with input from the adviser and us. It was interesting to watch their thinking: both kids are pretty conservative and preservation of capital was important to them. Later, when we went shopping at Costco, the d picked up a book “Financial Planning for Dummies”. I thought that was an excellent development.</p>
<p>We also honestly answer questions we’re asked and include our kids in any financial discussions and decisions we are making. We have taught them how to do laundry, taken them grocery shopping, tried to teach them to write checks (they weren’t very interested), taught them about savings accounts and a bit about the stock market (S learned much more in his HS econ class). They can make repairs on fabrics and are pretty resourceful about improvising.</p>
<p>For kids who want to know more about financial issues (in general), most Us & communities offer basic financial courses about credit cards, checkbooks, loans, mortgages, investing, and the like.</p>
<p>My parents never told me anything. The only thing they will say now about their finances (they are 72/78) is that they would sooner give any money have have left when they die to charity than to my brother or myself. I know they have money because they have been taking 2 vacations a year for a while now (last one was a month long cruise in December).</p>
<p>OTOH, I have been very open with my son. He had to realize that my net pay is HALF my gross pay (after taxes, retirement, health care are taken out).</p>
<p>In the last couple of years we’ve tried to share information on our finances. They were rather shocked when they found out what we have to pay in income, real estate taxes and mortgages. They’ve got friends on all ends of the economic spectrum - some who probably earn twice what we do and live in incredible houses and others where the kids are working in the parents’ restaurant every weekend. </p>
<p>We are incredibly lucky to have received an inheritance that seems to be quite well managed. It hasn’t gone down in value nearly as much as the market - knock on wood!</p>
I thought that was an excellent development.</p>