<p>Summer 2007- family vacations loom- Will you allow your college student optional participation? Probably, but what about the 12th grader who enters college in the fall? Does he/she get a choice? What about your rising senior, perhaps with a great summer job? Does he/she get a choice?</p>
<p>What factors are ya’ll using in making the decision as to who is mature enough to stay at home alone? Length of trip? Distance? Reliable busy-body neighbors? Older sibs to keep an eye on the younger?</p>
<p>I am sure there is a vast array of right answers for various CC families and I would love to hear what went into your yes/no decisions before the issue arises.</p>
<p>Once our kids are off to university, we figure they can determine their own summer plans. It is more the sub-18 kids I am wondering about.</p>
<p>ANy one choose to let their kids stay home and live to regret it? Do tell all ;)</p>
<p>We have four Ds and I think all of them started to stay at home for weekends and/or summer/winter vacations, for varying reasons, starting at about age 16 or 17. It wasn’t so much a matter of their choice but jobs and summer sports/activities intervened for one, or more, of them by that age. We never insisted that they come with us if they had other commitments so it wasn’t a case of not ‘allowing’ them to stay home, and I’d certainly never look at it that way with a kid who was going off to college in the fall. </p>
<p>It was difficult to do an entire family vacation once they hit that age, and we often found ourselves taking various combinations of them whenever we’d travel. Of course, by the time the younger two were that age, the older two were in college so they’d often come with me to visit the older ones. Our kids also travelled alone, with each other, and/or friends, internationally from the time they were 14 or 15 so leaving them home alone for a week at 16 or 17 wasn’t really an issue. We try to do a trip each year now with all of them, now that they’re older but I’m not sure how easy that will continue to be now that two have graduated and are working. Never really had anything happen while we were away that made us regret leaving them. :)</p>
<p>Speaking as a former HS teacher, I would NEVER NEVER NEVER leave HS students alone for the weekend. Too easy for them to get in trouble. </p>
<p>And I allowed my kids to travel alone starting at age 16 (D went to Paris and London for two weeks). NOT the same thing. For one thing, their friends were not asking if they could come over to party/do drugs/have sex in my unsupervised house… my (normally quite responsible) kid might have been alone, but the house wasn’t available.</p>
<p>NOTE: some of my friends when I was in high school were left alone while their parents traveled… which is why I know all about the kids of trouble kids can get into.</p>
<p>My parents have let me stay at the house alone when they were out of town starting Junior year. There will be multiple instances this summer (summer before college) where both will be out of town and I will be the only one around.</p>
<p>For the majority of students, leaving the kid alone would be asking for trouble. The problem is that most parents aren’t the best judge of whether their kid is the kind who can be left home alone. Unless you’re sure that it’s OK (very responsible child with very responsible friends, no interest in drugs/sex/rock&roll, and close friends or family nearby), you shouldn’t allow it. </p>
<p>My siblings and I love family vacations more than anything. Maybe you should try to figure out how to make it enjoyable for everyone.</p>
<p>Like others have said–depends on the kid (and their friends). I never left any of mine in town by themselves prior to college age–grapevine (with help of cell phones) works way too well.</p>
<p>We have pretty much figured any trip our family does can’t be, at this point, more than 3 days…with lots of notice, to work around work schedules, camps, etc.</p>
<p>it never came up
with only two kids and one working( at a residential camp) almost all summer except for a few days off here and there-, we haven’t had to leave anyone. I have left them together- but since they are 8 years apart- when I left the high school age one for a long weekend for instance-her sister came up to stay with her. I would have felt comfortable having just a friend stay, but it gave the sisters a chance to see each other without mom and dad around.</p>
<p>We make sure to plan our summer vacation so that all 3 kids can go with us. (rising college junior, 12th grader and 7th grader). We work around their summer jobs, sports camps, whatever, so that we can have those 2 weeks together. They seem to realize how very fortunate they are to be able to enjoy these destinations. To date, no-one has asked not to go, so I think they all really love that time.</p>
<p>If their summers ever got so crazy, we would cut back our vacation to 1 week, and if one of them was in a very serious relationship, I guess we might invite their love along.</p>
<p>Things may change in the future, esp. after the oldest graduates college :(</p>
<p>Oh heavens, here’s a post about my latest worry… H and I made reservations for a 30’th vacation thinking our 27 year old would be home with 17 year old sister. He’s now got a job, cool urban apartment and life in our city. Meanwhile we have non-refundable tickets and a hankering for some beach time after all this… she’s trustworthy but not “street-smart”, plus all the problems of dealing with a property for 10 days… pool, yard, bills, etc.</p>
<p>It depends on the kid. I have left my kids for 1-2 days on weekend, up until now the oldest cannot drive so only weekend trip is possible. But I do have relatives nearby.</p>
<p>The first parent meeting I attended at my daughter’s high school they emphatically stated, “Never leave your kids alone when you leave town. They may be the best kids in the world, but word may get out that the house is unsupervised and things can get out of hand in a very short period of time.” I think it puts your son or daughter in a very vulnerable position. You are also liable for what happens at your house whether you are there or not.</p>
<p>Mom3D, I appreciate your point. I actually called the police on this and they told me it depends on the kids. But now I can see your point that it’s not a good idea.</p>
<p>momof3d - we got the same talk from our HS. They said they have heard of a number of instances that the “word gets out” and the well-meaning home alone kid is put in a situation that they cannot handle. They said to either NOT put your child in that situation or, at a minimum, to have a neighbor or parent your child can contact who can intervene.</p>
<p>In our family we plan our vacations around our kids’ crazy schedules. They enjoy having the opportunity to go, and they help in planning the destination. This year between jobs, volunteering, soccer, etc., we’re squeezing in a week’s vacation immediately before my oldest son goes off to college. It’s a great time to be together before the send-off.</p>
<p>my parents left me home- I guess I must have been 16- when they went to the Spokane Worlds Fair.
I would have went- if I had felt that anyone would have noticed.
I was a little put off that there wasn’t any discussion about where to go- we usually had went camping on our family vacations which I liked. But I was just told that- “we’re going to the Worlds Fair” * I don’t want to go* " fine, stay home".
They must have figured that I was gonna do, what I was gonna do-but I didnt throw any parties. While our house was much bigger, I had a friend two blocks away whose single mother was rarely home, and who didn’t seem to know what to do with housefuls of teens.( so she stayed at her boyfriends house)
Needless to say- I keep a much closer eye on my kids.
( I was just thinking yesterday- how nice it is that many of Ds friends don’t have cars- yes it can be inconvinent to give them a ride * but then they take the bus*, but I have a better idea of where they are, and when they will be home & I get to meet more of them- of course it helps when H is home so * he* can give them a ride, like yesterday to Folklife, when I was covered in mud from the garden- so I had a good excuse! )</p>
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