<p>So, how many parents “help” their kids out to make them seem a bit more skilled than they are? I’m not talking about actually helping with homework or helping them to learn better or gain skills, etc.</p>
<p>What I’m talking about is parents who do the homework for their kids so their kids get better grades (but don’t actually learn the material). </p>
<p>Parents that teach their kids the answers before a special presentation (i.e., science or history) so they will appear smarter than the other kids in the group.</p>
<p>Parents that will write out card envelopes in what appears to be their kids handwriting, so friends think the kid is super smart and can write at a young age.</p>
<p>I’m sure there are more examples…but do you know parents like this?</p>
<p>Take a stroll through any elementary school science fair. The projects that the kids actually did themselves (you can tell, because they can tell you all about the project in their own, appropriate for their age, language) are sort of crummy, but charming, and occasionally brilliant.</p>
<p>The projects that the parents did are perfect, and boring, and the kid doesn’t have a clue what it means or how he got those results. You can spot the parent made projects a mile away.</p>
<p>I used to teach. Parents aren’t fooling anyone.</p>
<p>The closest thing to this was when parents would “help” on arts and crafts type homework projects. You’d know immediately that no second or third grader was capable of anything close, but the reality was that many of the parents were involved to some degree. Some took it to an absurd level - architectural style models etc. </p>
<p>I’m not sure that your second example represents lying. I suppose it would depend on the circumstances. But pre-teaching is an important strategy with some children because of the reinforcement they get from repetition.</p>
<p>Our former elementary school used to require a project from all fourth graders that involved building a replica of a California mission. It was eliminated from the curriculum because the resulting projects were so clearly beyond the abilities of the typical fourth grader working alone.</p>
<p>Our older daughter had to build something from maniac mcgee when she was in 4th grade. We still have it.
Sounds like the california assignment set kids up to either cheat or fail.
Was it tied to the curriculum in some way?</p>
<p>When I was in elementary school it always annoyed me when parents helped kids with arts and crafts or science projects. Mine never did so my own work seemed like complete garbage next to something an adult did. Even worse that some teachers held those to the standard. ahhhhhhh. Especially that infamous clay volcano and baking soda project. lol. Now to the op, I do not have kids but I suspect many parents lie or embellish the truth to make their kids and by extension THEMSELVES better than they really are.</p>
<p>Our local schools haven’t changed the curriculum in the ten years we have lived here, so the same stupid projects get assigned year after year, especially in the elementary and middle schools.</p>
<p>It got to the point that you KNEW that damned “make a model of an atom” project was looming, and after your oldest kid got points off for making an atom whose electrons couldn’t freely move around the nucleus you’d end up calling a friend (or, if you were really into letting your kids do it ALL by themselves, you’d have your second kid call a classmate or ask his older sibling for advice) on how the h@@@ those electrons could be made to “move freely”. My family made three atom projects, each kid feeding off the knowledge the ones who came before. Is that gaming the system? I’m a parent who absolutely lets her kids do their own projects, but the system ought to change things up once in a while.</p>
<p>And then there was the family who had a LOT of kids. The dad made a working roller coaster for the oldest kid’s “make a working roller coaster” project eight years ago, and ever since, each kid re-spray painted the thing and handed it in. Every parent in the school was well aware of this, but everyone thought the project was such an overly time intensive, stupid waste of a spring weekend, that we all silently applauded. And the teachers in that grade never caught on to the fact that the same project was handed in five times. For all I know, it may have been included in the family will to the first born grandchild.</p>
<p>The only help that I gave for projects was normally to be driving to a store at midnight to buy supplies like glue or construction paper. I did sit up many nights reading essays and making suggestions, showing him how to make outlines, looking for weaknesses in arguments, double checking his sources, etc. I never did the work, but I pushed him to continue when it wasn’t quite good enough. He is a much better writer now, so I haven’t been needed in high school. </p>
<p>My only goal as a parent was to make DS able to live on his own, and doing his homework would not have helped. Besides, I couldn’t think like a 10yo boy, let alone write like one.</p>
<p>When D1 was in fourth grade, they were asked to build a pyramid by using any material. D1 made one by using marshmallows and toothpicks. I thought it was brilliant. I complimented D1 on the job well done. It was only when I showed up at school for parent night that I realized how behind D1 was (I knew then that Harvard was not in the card, high, high reach). There was a pyramid made of ceramic tiles, perfectly cut and grouted. Tell me what fourth grader knew how to lay ceramic tiles. D1 was quite upset with us not helping out more (I didn’t realize it was our projet).</p>
<p>I helped my kids out with their first book reports this year. They were weird and hard to understand. My kids had no idea how to adress an envelope in the third grade. I did give them an example and they had to use it to address the fake envelope that was to the writer. I told them that they had problems with their sentences and they needed corrections. I didn’t make the corrections myself. I am sure had I not helped at all it would have been handed in wrong. I talked to a teacher about why she only gave one book report and the other teacher had given four book reports(I have twins in different classes). The teach that gave one book report and I agreed that too much of the work is done by the parent. Funny thing now the fifth book report from the other teacher is to be done in class. I am pretty sure our conversation got back to this other teacher. I guess one of two things will happen. My one dd will get busted for not doing well on her paper in class or she really did learn from the earlier book reports and know how to self correct. Crossing my fingers now.</p>
<p>LOL oldfort, that is what I meant. These projects were often an embarassment to me, even more so when the teachers and students acted as if the student had done them! haha. When in reality your daughter’s pyramid might have been one of the better ones for HER age range not when compared to someone whose engineer’s father/mother built. I resnted these useless projects as did my parents, I think if more people felt the same way they would be assigned less.</p>
<p>My kids wanted to do the projects on their own(which was great). I helped by buying whatever materials they needed. Of course the projects that they did always paled in comparison to the parent made projects…
And then a funny thing happened. D was in a G & T class in elementary school and the projects were all done in the classroom so no parent involvement. One day I showed up a few minutes early for a class presentation and while waiting outside the classroom I looked at the projects hanging there. I saw one in particular that impressed me and when I looked at the name I saw that it was D’s.</p>
<p>I think classroom projects are the best. I work with students and research projects. They are done completely in my class and not taken home. If a student struggles they can come after school and get help and I help them. I want them all to understand and complete all the processes. The final written paper is not the key. Most of the grade goes to the note taking and outlining. It should be the same for any type of project. But getting help from a mentor is important to many. Showing them what it should look like is important. In that vein, working with a parent or adult can help. But if it is sent out of the “class,” it should be for a “sharing” project or a little "art show"and nothing else. The students could talk about the process, how it was done and include adult help. That is my two cents as a retiring teacher-librarian.</p>
<p>LOL @FallGirl. True story in my house as well! I have proofread and made suggestions about grammar and phrasing but as a rule would never make any major edits to college or scholarship essays.</p>
<p>For homework, my kids have always been on their own (even my 7 year old son with ADHD/learning disabilities gets no overt help) but huge projects at a young age which require the use of a glue gun or sharp/power tools (Pinewood Derby anyone?) do get some assistance. In the case of the Derby car my son may not have cut out his own car but he painted and sanded it himself. A lot of the parents admitted to buying premade cars off Ebay and at Lowes or just doing all of the work themselves. Not sure how a child gets anything out of winning when they know they had little to do with it.</p>