<p>lje62, I am so sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>lje - oh, how very sad. I hope you and her family can find some comfort in one another.</p>
<p>lje, how very sad. My sympathies.</p>
<p>mommusic, I’m sorry about your friend. I think it’s true that having young friends can keep things lively and youthful as one ages. I wish I had more friends in their 80’s and 90’s! (They make ME feel young, even childlike, at 50!) I once was invited to a party of a friend’s 83 year old father. I have no idea why I was invited, everyone there was the father’s age, not even my friend was there. After an initial feeling of panic, I ended up having a great time and wishing I had more older friends.</p>
<p>lje, I’m so sorry about your SIL.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’m so sorry, lje62.</p>
<p>I found *Man’s Search for Meaning *and am most of the way through it. Quite thought provoking, but I admit that it had intensified my inner turmoil intead of calming me down.</p>
<p>My sympthy goes out to mommusic and lje62 for your recent losses.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Actually, if you die first, then YOU will have a huge funeral, Shawbridge. As someone noted, funerals are for the living, so all the people who love your wife will support her by coming to her beloved husband’s funeral. (I’m guessing a few people will be there because they loved you, too.) ;)</p>
<p>Couldn’t help but think of this thread today after “working” a shift at my local United Way’s Gifts of the Season drive. Although I chair a United Way volunteer committee, I hadn’t been on site for this holiday gift drive before. When you see this enormous operation to match people with their most basic wishes (slippers, a nightgown, a coloring book), you realize that your current life-- whether large or small-- is a darn blessed one. I admit to having checked out the thread about ‘your best buy of the day’ on a regular basis in recent weeks but the items we’ve been hunting are all “nice to haves”, not “need to haves”. At the moment, I’m feeling like the life I lead is just the perfect size.</p>
<p>My sympathies to mm and lje62. </p>
<p>I attended a memorial service for a friend early this year and was comforted by a number of the readings during the service, which were from a book by Unitarian minister Forrest Church. The book is: Love and Death: My Journey through the Valley of the Shadow." I bought the book, but didn’t read it until recently. It was an uplifting book with much to recommend it. Church wrote it after being diagnosed with esophageal cancer.</p>
<p>I just ordered that book for my ipod bromfield, thanks for the recommendation, it looks great.</p>
<p>How many will show up at my funeral isn’t particularly interesting or important to me. I would like, however, lots of people to show up when I’m in hospice or otherwise dying. I had 2 friends die in the past 2 years, and both had lots of very loving, supportive friends visit as they were dying. That’s the way I want to go out…</p>
<p>This discussion was so thought-provoking and moving, I thought it should get a bump - maybe it will inspire some of the kids and parents currently wrapped up in college decisions to put them in perspective. I don’t know if any kids read this forum; maybe some tech-savvy person knows how to move it or highlight it.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>+1. You’re dead.</p>
<p>The idea of the thread is reflecting on how many people you touch in your life - whether or not they show up at your funeral is not relevant.</p>
<p>The beloved dean of the honors college at Pitt died last Wednesday; he was the only dean who taught a class regularly. A student at Pitt set up a Facebook page and students soon filled it with “Docisms.” It was quite a tribute. The services were on campus yesterday.</p>
<p>Funny but I occasionally think about the postings that were shared in this thread. One of the most touching discussions I’ve come across in my 8 years on this message board. (Yes, 8 years in spite of my “join date;” guess I must’ve changed CC identities when I changed email providers.)</p>
<p>I like this thread, too. It’s like “It’s a wonderful Life,” though. I don’t really think we can completely know how many lives we touch. Heck, raising one kid well, we are effecting so many other lives indirectly. Hopefully we effect however many lives we effect in the most positive ways that we are capable of on any given day. </p>
<p>remembering this thread effects me in a postive way…so, you can all add one to the list. :)</p>
<p>It does not matter to me when I am in a box. Why should I care? The most important is to enjoy what you have at the moment. if you do not enjoy your moment, you need to change something to make all moments of your life enjoyable. I do not think I will enjoy laying cold in a box, it is just unavoidable part of life.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But Miami, in the moments before it’s time to go into the box, wouldn’t you like to be able to reflect on all the lives you’ve touched, instead of all the magazines you’ve read, or all the reality TV shows you’ve watched? Not saying that you do those things, just that we’re thinking about the significance of our lives, not what happens upon our death.</p>
<p>Regarding no one coming to a funeral – I once went to a funeral where there were about five people in attendance – and I had barely even met the woman who had died. Maybe it didn’t matter to her, but it felt so sad to me, partly because if that’s how many people showed up, then think of how little support the widower would have in the lonely months to follow. That seems really sad. When I go to a well attended funeral, then I at least feel comforted that those who are left behind have people who will be looking out for them.</p>
<p>missypie,
Your post 178 is about somebody else, not me. I just try very hard to live in a current moment, because I do not know what will happen in a next one. I am so much NOT into reading anything, watching TV, and a lot of other very boring (to me) activities. I have chosen to do only what I enjoy doing and stay clear of what I do not. I love my family and very proud of every single member. I am very willing to support them whichever way I can. However, my personal needs are never neglected by me. If I do not take care of myself, then somebody will be burden by this task. There is no time for me to do anything else, just work, take care of family and pay taxes, that are not used the way i would wish them to be used. But then the time comes to vote and I always do, but often it does not go my way, but I am not the one to do more than just vote. Life is pretty simple in my case. I guess when I am in a box, my family will be by my box. But I still do not care who is there when I stopped feeling.</p>