I think the split of money may be related to when in life people got together. My first husband and I were together pretty young, we had no money to speak of, and I helped pay for his college and for him to start a business. We barely had enough money for one account. My current husband and I both went through divorces, and there were significant money issues involved with his divorce. So he wanted nothing to do with merging money.
My thoughts exactly, but that is for H to take up with his sisters. In my mind it would be a fool’s game for a non family member to get involved in a discussion of that nature.
No, it does not affect our financial planning in any way. It was never something we ever contemplated or depended on. I think H’s belief, based on how things were handled in the past, was that this individual would allocate according to need. Did not turn out that way but in any case it was “found” money.
@sooziet that is not my general understanding of the law, but I am no expert in matrimonial matters. Perhaps there are circumstances where a judge would award portions of an inheritance to a spouse. Just speaking personally, it would not be something I would feel entitled to.
Out of curiosity, did those cases take place in community property states where even accounts in one spouse’s name is regarded as part of the community marital property?
Just wondering as when I checked with a few lawyer friends and a relative who specialized in trusts and estates for divorcing friends that inheritances to an individual in NY wouldn’t be considered part of marital property for divorce purposes unless it was comingled with the spouse’s assets in some manner. However, one does need to disclose that to the presiding divorce case judge at the outset just to be safe.
Wisconsin is a marital property state. The marital property rules are focused on treatment of property during marriage and at death but they do have some effect, at least philosophically, on treatment of property at divorce. Under the marital property rules, separate property (e.g., received as a gift or inheritance) loses its status as nondivisible if it’s commingled with marital property.
H and I have separate checking accounts but joint savings. He suggested/ insisted this at the beginning of our joint relationship way long ago. I hated it at the time but could not fathom living w/o now. He, making more than me., pays the bills. My pay is for the extras such as college tuition, travels, cars, etc.
For many years, 8 or 9 years, 4 years paying double tuition and one year paying triple tuition at private schools, my pay was for tuition. For the last several years, instead of paying tuition we are paying to enjoy ourselves,
We do those separately as well. For years, DH had/has more favorable tax deferred retirement plan options from work so we maxed out his account rather than mine. His was also allowed three times as much as mine was. I don’t know how we would disentangle that one. We will just have to split our retirement funds in half. At that time, I contributed more to mortgage and bills. Now kid’s tuition is high so not much saving.
Yes.
Good quesition. We haven’t bought one in a long time (16+ years) so I don’t know. I am hoping our current ones will last another 10+ years. 
I forgot how to buy a car. Can you use amazon? 
I think my mother paid for both last century. I hope she buys the next ones too??? when she is 100 years old??? :))
DH has been buying and fixing and selling cars under $1K for a hobby with his own money. Well, it’s his time and money. Longevity and health of our regular cars are due to his hobby.
I don’t know how we would have handled.
We do quite similarly to what @1214mom wrote in #178.
DH and I have very different views/attitudes with money so this is best for us. YMMV.
Yes, I sometimes do “count other’s money” and we have our share of relative’s baggages.
I am okay with my mother giving my siblings different amounts but not okay with mother in law not giving DH any money while supporting sister-in-law only because my side of family is better off. I guess it’s rather illogical.
At least, I pretend not to be bothered by it much.
Seems like it can only lead to bad outcomes to count in-laws’ money in any situation other than if they ask you to lend or give them any money.
Yup.
We did both, lent money and are giving money monthly.
I do not expect ever getting any back.
What is considered separate versus marital property can vary, depending on the state in which a couples lives. So-called kitchen-sink states such as Vermont, Michigan, Massachusetts and Connecticut, for example, don’t typically distinguish between separate and marital property.
I can’t imagine all this separate stuff, but I got married in my mid 20s and we’re still married. 401ks are obviously separate, and the 529s are in one of our names with the kids. I’m getting an inheritance from my mom, I can’t imagine keeping it separate, but hubby wants me to decide what I want to do with it. I am thinking part of it will be used to take my sisters on a trip. Hubby wouldn’t care if I spent it or saved it but he doesn’t want me using it to pay bills. But we’ll grown old and live life and retire together, I can’t imagine maintaining separate accounts through that. Our goals are mutual.
We have set up trusts which for our daughters which are protected in a divorce. They cannot be counted as a marital asset by a judge.
BUT: Say that D1 takes 100K out of her trust in order to buy a house with her DH, and each of them are on the title. That 100K is now “co-mingled” with her DH and is considered community property. The money that remains in the trust continues to be protected, however.
My husband and I have our retirement accounts under shared management, but not commingled.
For me, taking my money would be a much more serious betrayal than physical infidelity. I’m not eager to experience either one, but I know what would shut me down for good.
When H and I lived together but we’re not yet married we had 3 accounts. His, mine and joint. We each deposited an equal amount each month in the joint and paid our living expenses out of that. Once married we switched to 1 account. Credit cards we each have a separate card and several joint cards. The separate cards are from back before we were married.we don’t use those cards on a regular basis. All our bills go to the same place.
2 of my children live with SO’s. I know one of them has considered opening a joint account for shared expenses but I think they haven’t made the time to do so. I think they switch off on groceries and split the bills evenly.
^^We lived together for five years before we got married. We split everything 50/50, and I wrote him a check out of my account each month, and he paid the bills out of his. We did line by line expenses each month (on unlined orange paper, because somehow we’d ended up with a giant stack of it for free), and we still have those papers almost 30 years later-we are amazed when we look at them at how we got by on so little.
And how much powdered mac & cheese with chunk light (couldn’t afford white) tuna we ate.