Both of our Ds have already established a very strong work ethic. Sometimes I worry too stong of a work ethic. One D in particular needs to find a little more work/life balance.
But we have set them up to receive a large estate (already set up with trusts), even if we live long lives. They are already mature enough to handle it imo; once they are old enough to take over from the trustee, we have no doubt about their abilities to handle the windfall with grace and wisdom.
We plan and hope to but who knows what the future holds? We definitely have a nice pension & savings and retirement accounts but canât guess about costs as we age.
We do gift generously, significant amounts. We also fully support D financially as she never knows whether she will be vertical or horizontal, due to her documented medical issues.
Yes, I plan to leave my kids with money - just like my father plans to do with us.
Money is tough to come by and Iâd want them to have a wonderful life that money can help bring.
But I wouldnât want to talk about it with them as teens- because I donât want them wasting away for 30 or 40 years, doing nothing, waiting for a few million.
But heck yeah, if I die with little in the bank, then I did something wrong planning wise. Iâm hopeful that my portfolio will generate to cover living, healthcare issues, and the charitable giving that my wife handles for the family.
And still have principal that grows - crossing my fingers.
Yes but we are not living as frugally in retirement as we did during our working years. We are reaping the fruits of our labor now. We have dynasty trusts set up for future generations.
Yes, Iâm hopeful that we will be able to leave them money. All our kids are hardworking and donât expect anything. No down payment on a house as we live in a high real estate market. What our goal would be to make their lives easier but not to allow them to not work.
We also have set up 529 accounts for the grandkids.
My upbringing was paycheck to paycheck and my âinheritanceâ enabled me to buy some high priced plates and bowls from William Sonoma.
We plan to leave assets/properties to our kids, and money to our future grandkids. My wife and I have luckily reached a stage where we donât have to decide between living well and leaving an inheritance. Both of us came from middle class families and have tried hard to pass on those values to our kids.
Hopefully, our financial contributions helps our kids to pass on a more stable foundation to future generations.
We plan to but we are also gifting now and funding our GDâs 529. At the same time we are traveling and spending and not depriving ourselves.
Of course, one never knows what will happen.
Our son gets whateverâs left, and he knows that. What he doesnât know is the significant inheritance he will receive from an unexpected source. We and the source have chosen to keep that from him.
Look into something called a Special Needs Trust - itâs a godsend. 
When asked by FA about money to be left to the kids, we joke with a similar phrase we used with them growing up, âthey will git what they gitâ.
Odds are there will be something left over after we are both gone, and the kids are alternate beneficiaries on most of our assets. Of course if grandchildren appear, they might be in the mix too because our kids did benefit from some inherited ira money from grandparents in their 20s, a good age to have some extra safety net.
A nice surprise for a young man who chose to serve-- what a beautiful legacy!
We would very much like to leave a good inheritance for our kids, but we are not planning things around that desire. If things go well, we should be able to gift money to them in a couple years. If things arenât going as well as hoped, weâll save that money so that we can afford end of life care. If we are fortunate enough not to have to blow through our money when we are old & infirm, our kids will most likely inherit a decent amount. D will probably not need anything, but we will split it equally between her & her brother, just the same. He will probably need it more than she will, and I do hope that there will be a good amount left for him. If not, though, heâll be fine ⊠he is an adult who is taking care of his own needs, and he wasnât raised to expect anything.
My friendâs H is working a number of years longer than planned because they want to leave as much as possible to their kids. She doesnât understand why we feel differently, but I say to each their own.
H and I grew up in families that were paycheck-to-paycheck. Education was our way out, and we put paid to giving that to our sons with college. H and I both put ourselves through without parental assistance.
Our sons took out Staffords and worked for books/spending $ because we werenât full-pay, but still had a huge EFC. They overlapped two years in college â the joys of kids 15 months apart. OTOH, we didnât put limits on where they chose to attend. They had the choice of flagship with $$ and help with grad school or house, or private with Stafford loans. They both chose the latter. Cost big bucks, glad we did it.
We hope to leave the guys (and grandchildren, if that happens) something. Weâve told them our intent is to not be a burden on them. Weâre pretty aggressive on saving because my medical expenses are nuts and we donât know how the end game will play out.
S1 is in great shape financially, S2 is an expat where salaries are lower, but so are expenses â and heâs not earning Social Security credits or the ability to put into an IRA or 401k. H wants to point more assets at S2. He doesnât know this. H has discussed with S1, who is on board with this plan.
H has an older brother who canât manage money, along with other aspects of his life. Their mother was stalling putting her trust together because she couldnât see how to make it fair between the four adult children. H said, âLook, itâs worst case scenario now because he will get a lump sum.â
Finally got her to meet with an estate attorney she trusted (because he went to her church). Brother was guaranteed X amount or 1/4 split, whichever was greater. This is enough to last the rest of his life. (Heâs around 69 now.) H manages it, and by default brother and his iffy decisions. Itâs a lot of work, but H feels he owes it to his mother.
Absolutely!
When my mother died, we received an inheritance. It was nice for us, but I know there were things my mother said she wanted to doâŠand never didâŠbecause she said she didnât have the money.
I wish she had spent the money on herself, I really do.
We chose to use the money for our kids. It was found money. We did buy ourselves a new couch and bed.
Well I think the âleaving them some moneyâ conversation is layered with so many artifacts of a personâs own family of origin and their relationships with one another, that the answer is much more than the money itself.
Sometimes parents were shoved out the door to fend for themselves at 18, and they âturned out fineâ so they expect their kids to do the same and value the fierce autonomy that resulted from their experience. Sometimes parents with a similar background look back aghast at their experience and how it affected their relationships and lives and decide to operate differently with their own family.
Sometimes I hear bitterness: No one gave me a leg up, I earned this all on my own and my last check is going to bounce
Theyâre proud of getting to where they are in life, as they very much should be, and thereâs still some resentment towards their parents, and theyâre not especially close with them.
For other families itâs a ridiculous and privileged practice that the majority of people canât even fathom. And theyâre right, too.
And there are dozens of other permutations of this that I havenât even touched.
I come from an interdependent family; my folks talked to us early on about financial choices they were making to âfrontloadâ any inheritance that they might be able to leave by paying for our college, and helping with a down payment on our first homes, so that we would have lower monthly payments and thus more flexibility in our lives and a leg up on building equity.
Over the years they pay/paid for trips for all of us siblings and grandchildren to spend time together, so that we all get to see each other regularly and without hardship. And they gave significant gifts when their grandchildren were born into 529s, to seed the path forward for them as well.
And because of that, there likely wonât be anything significant when they do pass, but we all benefited from this inheritance throughout our lives together.
I plan to do the same for mine.
Editing to add: my parentâs choices with the âfront loadingâ of inheritance at key points in our lives enables everyone in our family to choose to do the same for our children, thus we also donât see what we have as âthis is mine, go get yours.â While any of us could get a lot flashier with our spending, thatâs not how our interdependent family feels or operates around these specific gifts - we see ourselves as lucky and privileged stewards of these gifts of funds. When used in the way they were intended, they seeded opportunities; as such, we conserve so that they may then be able to do the same for our children, and they for theirs, and onwards. If any of us decide that weâd rather start driving Ferraris because our own portfolio could accommodate that - that would be out of line, as we have an understanding and a supportive, tacit agreement that we are all in this together: with, and for each other.
My MIL has a trip she really wants to go on, but the cost is approx. $7k, I keep telling her âTake the tripâ and âenjoy it while you canâ. I know she can afford it. I also know it wonât break her to spend the money to take this trip. Thankfully she has finally decided to go and is going this fall.
We only have this one life, why not enjoy it while she is here?? 
My philosophy is if money is left, it happens. And the likelihood of it happening is very high. But Iâm not living my life with the intention that I leave money. We are less than 20 years apart. She should have plenty of her own money by then. Instead, I will gift generously over the course of my life so I can watch her enjoy it, eg, lots of vacations together on my dime, a house down payment, etc.
Our FA says that there will be plenty left over.
Itâs not a goal but itâs nice to know that we wonât run out of money according to the FA. Therefore we will have money to pass on.
My mom may have a small estate to pass on. She has needed every penny to survive herself. I donât want to cut my money that close. As long as she doesnât have to spend many, many years in a nursing home, she will be fine. But I think thatâs true for most of us.
My in laws on the other hand seem to have a pretty substantial estate that will pass on.
How I would like to handle things differently?
My in laws have always seem to want to live on a shoestring. To economize. Not to travel much unless you call a trip a year to Florida and spent staying with friends. To give their children a $100 check for birthdays and $500 for Christmas.
I would like to fund our grandchildrenâs education. To travel. Maybe take that safari. To not gift the kids while we are alive. Iâd like to not pass on any money until my own children are retired.
We will see. 