I already know the answer for a couple of you based on the retirement thread, but I had such a weird convo with a bff that it made me wonder.
If the answer is yes, have you let them know that?
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We told our financial planner that our goal is to die with $10 in our accounts. If we don’t sell the house first, the kids will have that.
We gift to them now so we can see them enjoy our gifts. They are both hardworking and great kids who never ask for anything…so we are happy to give them gifts now.
Our kids know this!
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Some think you should aim to die with zero. Enjoy your life, you earned it and can’t take it with you kinda thing.
Some, particularly among the very rich, think that leaving money to your children corrupts them and is a disincentive to them developing their own work ethic. For example, I think Anderson Cooper was told he wasn’t going to inherit anything, but then did? I may be misremembering.
Personally, as someone whose parents had no wealth and who grew up in an era of exploding college tuitions and health care costs, I would like to leave my children something as a safety net.
But the money is also my OWN safety net in the event of exorbitant medical/care costs, etc., in my own old age. That’s how we describe it: it’s the Don’t-Burden-Your-Kids-in-Old-Age Fund, rather than their inheritance.
But, yes, I am hoping we don’t need it and can pass it on.
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Yes, I plan to leave them an inheritance. We have it invested rather aggressively since we have a secure pension. I think we can pay for the things that we want and still leave them plenty. At least I hope so. I would like to start passing money on to them soon, so they don’t have to wait 40 years (because we plan to live to 100 
). But not until all debt and the mortgage is paid.
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Probably. In retirement our hope is to live entirely off the interest generated by our savings plus any social security. We have no debt except for our remaining mortgage - we haven’t paid it off because the interest rate is really, really low and we get a better return on our money in the stock market. That being said, we aren’t planning to take extreme measure to safeguard our savings - while it would be great to leave the kids some $$, I don’t think we owe it to them.
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I mentioned in one of the other threads that H’s mom passed away a few years ago and left us a substantial amount of money. That was very nice, but we didn’t need it.
We decided to heavily gift to our grown kids while they’re young. Both are financially responsible. This is money for down payments, 529s for the grands, and ensuring they max out their 401(k)s. We also take them on family vacations they would not be able to afford on their own.
We’re fortunate to be able to do all that, but you never know what the future will bring so we still need to keep a cushion. I would never be comfortable with the “die with $10” philosophy. I also see it slowing down as they become more established in their careers and settled with their families.
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Yes, I’d like to leave as much money as I am able to my children. We plan on giving them some of it along the way as far as helping with down payments and such. I am willing to be somewhat frugal in retirement (I find I’m less interested in travel, for example, since Covid), in order to give them a good inheritance. But you know what they say about the best laid plans……ultimately they’ll receive what’s left.
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We have plenty of cushion. Kids know any accounts we have go to our care first…we saved for that. If…and I mean if there is anything left, it’s theirs to split
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I plan to leave them a good amount. My parents did it for me and my sister. For me, that inheritance paid for virtually all of my two sons’ college tuitions. I was able to max out the 401(k)s, etc., and not worry about saving for college. It made me very comfortable.
That said, I don’t know for sure if that money will be there at the end. If one or both of us winds up in a nursing home – well, the future is unknown, isn’t it.
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Everyone here should respect what anyone expresses they CAN or CHOSE to do.
For us, I mean we will see. I hope so - because that means we didn’t die broke and that maybe health care or skilled living wasn’t something we had to do. Whatever is left when we “leave” is for our kids. But we are not especially living to do without or scrimp and save for that purpose specifically.
The kids have told us to live that way and while we spend pretty moderately anyway, they also know they are our legacy and benefactors when we die. I think they would all agree - as they saw us do - to maybe do a donation to non-profits/causes we have special interest in.
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H and I have saved well for our retirement. H also has a very small pension that won’t even buy a week’s worth of groceries. Our main goal is to (hopefully) not be a financial burden to our kids. Right now we take our kids on vacation several times a year and we will continue that once we are retired as it is built into our budget. I can’t say yet if we will be able to help them with down payments for homes, but if we can swing that we would like to help.
We would certainly like to be able to leave something for our kids, if nothing else then hopefully our paid for Southern California house. Our daughters have no expectations that we will leave them anything.
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Plan to no. Hope to yes. The latter will probably require a lottery win though. And we don’t play the lottery. We gave them a solid childhood filled with some enriching experiences, paid as much as much as we could toward a good college education, and recently gifted them the used cars they’d been driving. In their chosen fields they will, and one already is, make more than we ever did. We will always be there with love and encouragement but in my view the money from here on out is ours to do what we want. That being said, my parents died younger than they probably planned or hoped (69 and 75) and some of my children’s experiences and education were only possible because of the inheritance I received.
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Assuming that one is not financially dependent on family or charity, it seems like few can predict that they will die just as their money runs out*, so any financial planning would necessarily have a safety buffer for one’s own financial needs (including the risk of things like medical care, assisted living, home modification, etc. needs in older age, as well as the investment risks for the assets) if one wants to avoid running out of money while still alive. But that also means that it is very likely that some of that buffer money will be left over after one dies, although there is still the choice of whom to leave it to in one’s will or trusts (i.e. kids versus charity or whatever).
*Maybe the person who has no significant assets of value, but has a pension + Social Security (that die upon death) that is more than enough to live on, and who donates any excess (not needed for unplanned costs like medical bills, etc.) to charity, will come closest to the “goal” of dying just as the money runs out.
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We plan to leave them money but are struggling with how, since one of them is so executve function deficient that he can’t handle his own paycheck let alone an inheritance.
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I hope there is money left when I die. Am I planning so there definitely will be? No. D makes more than H & I combined during our best earning years. She is maxing out her 401K. She has savings. She’s in terrific financial shape. I’d like to be able to help her with a down payment on a home. I like travelling with her, and hope to do more of that. If there’s money left, great. If not, I know she’s already in a great shape.
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Thanks, all, for playing along. I was surprised how negative she was about the prospect of wanting to leave money to the kids. I’m OK if she doesn’t feel the same way, but she’s given me such pushback that one, it pissed me off, and two, I began to wonder whether leaving money to your kids is a thing anymore. Like is it an old-fashioned way of thinking.
So then I wondered whether it was because we still consider ourselves an immigrant family and so maybe have romanticized The American Dream. All four of my grandparents and all four of dh’s grandparents came from other countries. I was raised thinking we should leave our kids better off than how we came into the world. I already feel that we did that (debt-free education at top-notch schools), but if we have the possibility to leave them a chunk of change why wouldn’t we?
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@Youdon_tsay - I agree with you, but I wouldn’t change all of the things H and I hope to do for ourselves in retirement in order to leave more money for our kids.
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Plan to leave money to our two sons.
Our parents paid for our college years, and in-laws helped H with his med school years. We are thankful for that.
College (and possibly grad or law school) for oldest and vocational school for youngest will be paid for, and we plan to help both with deposit for housing when they are of that age/time.
We likely will give gifts for other things down the road, too.
H does well and we save a lot bc neither of us are spenders (beyond books and dogs). Both had teachers as parents so we are used to that approach in our lives now even though financially we are in much better position.
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You can always set up a trust fund with specific instructions made to the trustee as it relates to disbursement of funds for someone with poor financial skills.
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I think family background has a lot to do with it. I know D picked her field, in part, because of the earnings potential. I’m sure there are other things she would have chosen to major in if we were wealthy but she knew how tight money was and that we couldn’t bankroll her after graduation. Paycheck to paycheck at our house.
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