We hope to leave our kids money and yes, they know where the “Will” binder is.
In my profession, I worked with a lot of kids, so I didn’t make the kind of money to have a large chunk of income. Because of that, my husband bore the brunt of saving aggressively. It’s not a lot, but it’s divided equally in a trust.
We did gift the kids their college educations because that’s what we promised them. So they don’t have debt.
We’re currently in the middle of our Mom’s issues (90 yrs. still spry/lucid) but just broke wrist from a fall.
She has a property in a low-income area where there is a current boom in remodeling. Prices of houses in San Diego has skyrocketed, so the boom exploded in her neighborhood.
She made the “mistake”, in her will/trust, of leaving her home to the eldest because he was the only child, of seven, who didn’t ever buy a home, financially irresponsible and has mostly lived with our elderly mother all of his adult life.
Now she realizes her error and feels badly that he will receive the home without any inclination to appreciate the gift. All of the other siblings have provided care, and transportation for her. He does nothing because, culturally, as the “macho” eldest, he feels he is due the inheritance.
Mother wants to change the will and leave it to the surviving children (me, included-total 5), because she feels that she disregarded all of the care that each child has provided throughout her adult life.
The eldest refuses because, he still hopes to marry one day and live there with a spouse (fat chance!). It’s a community property state, so our mom is freaking out that a stranger may inherit the home where she used pennies to pay off the mortgage. Everyone is saying it’s too late. But he feels he should get something for all of his grief.
My siblings have tried to reason with him, but he feels he is due is own home and that it is the least our parents could have done for him, “the eldest” is to provide him with some financial benefit.
We don’t want to argue it but our mother is adamant that she made a mistake and is upset that she made a poor choice.
If she passes, most of my siblings have no problem letting him have the house, we don’t want to argue with him and it’s not worth it to us-plus, we just don’t like him and how he has always disrespected our mother’s lack of “American cultural knowledge”.
Most of us don’t have a good relationship with him, sans the “peacemaker” of the family, so he will only be hurting himself as he has always been considered a jerk.
Four of us will be going no-contact with him when she passes. (Edited to add; he’s burned every bridge with everyone except for the family who just barely tolerate him at holiday and family events.)
Our Mother has realized that he has hurt everyone and she doesn’t want us to “leave him alone” because, “he’s your brother”. Sad thing is I think this is what he needs.
The ironic thing is that he may go before she does. She’s healthier than he is! (Gardens daily) He’s about 67-68. A sick twist: most of the family is betting that he’ll go first because he has had anger issues for as long and we can remember.
Stay tuned. Same Bat time, Same Bat Channel. The Soap opera will continue. “All MY Children As The World Turns in San Diego”.