<p>The big problem is not so much how to handle confessions and truths of the past as much as those for the future. Really, how honest can kids be when they are fully involved in things they know you do not support, cannot support (they may be terrilbly harmful, illegal, dangerous, bad) and they know they are not going to stop. They don’t want to go to counseling or whatever. They are going to do those bad things. </p>
<p>I know a man who is a drug dealer. Yes, he sells to younger kids. He also is involved in a lot of nasty business that makes the drug dealing an attribute. His parents, whom I’ve known for while, his siblings, are very nice people. They love their chlldren very much. They get one lie after another from this kid and feel that as he fesses up anything in the past, they want to start afresh for the future and believe him. My son who knows him from earlier years told me that the guy likes his life style just fine and is not going to change but would never be honest about this to his parents as he wants contact with them and benefits from them, but even if the condition for it to continue is for him to stop, he would not. He’d lie and take the chances that he not get caught or his parents don’t find out. </p>
<p>That is the terrible truth that some of us might be facing. That our kids are NOT going to stop or refrain from behaviours that we cannot support. It’s not to the best interest of such kids to state that as there will be a loss of benefits, and a decrease in the all important hope we all have for our kids, so most of them are NOT going to be honest when that is the crux of the matter.</p>