<p>Marian’s example is exactly what happened to a friend’s daughter. Four African-American girls requested to room together in a new quad. All four girls were very active in their sorority which was an African-American only sorority and I believe one or two were high up officers. For reasons I do not know, one of the girls did not return to school, so friend’s white, Jewish daughter who was a transfer student was assigned the room.</p>
<p>White girl was planning to rush and felt uncomfortable being in this small southern town where Jews are the minority, more so than the African-Americans. She ended up not rooming in that room and went to a private dorm instead. I would like to believe the girl was nervous about the transfer and felt if her roommates were all buddies, she would have a harder time fitting in. She had requested from the start to be housed with a transfer student and by moving into the private dorm, she was on a floor with all transfer students. I do not know if the 3 girls had been white if she would have stayed or not as she gave us the impression that it was more that the girls wanted to be together and she was afraid she would be an outsider. I will add that this girls has 2 very, very close friends that are African-American and has gone across country to visit with one of their families, so I have to believe it was not a racial move.</p>
<p>Were the three roomates already together and in place when the transfer came? That would make me uncomfortable and she might not have been welcome.</p>
<p>If they all ended up new together, then two days is much too soon.</p>
<p>I don’t think that the white girl was wrong for asking for a transfer. It does not necessarily mean that she is racist. It may mean that she was not comfortable in the situation, or that the other girls may have made her feel uncomfortable. Whatever the reason, we really don’t know the whole story. If I were put in a similar sitruation, such as being placed in a room with three Hispanic women who talked in their native tongue amonst themselves and shared a cultural connection, I may feel somewhat out of place. I may be shy and not know really how to fit in… Colleges are expensive, and quite frankly, I would like to get the most out of my experience, so If I need to find my tribe, then I will do what is necessary to find them.</p>
<p>Very interesting comments - a lot to think about.</p>
<p>Zoosermom’s question about the three roommates being there already is a good one, and I don’t know if its true, but it makes a lot of sense. I’m hopeful that was the reason the girl moved, and not because they were African American. </p>
<p>By the way, this school is in the south, the the girl in question is not from the south. </p>
<p>My daughter had a roommate last year with whom she had nothing in common, other than their major. They might as well have been from different planets, and didn’t like each other very much. They managed to live together amicably and find “their tribes” as milkandsugar put it by looking beyond their dorm room. </p>
<p>I just can’t imagine what could be so objectionable about sharing a room with people that are different from you for 5 months. </p>
<p>By the way, the girl was already in a sorority when she transferred and so immediately was part of a “tribe” when she arrived.</p>
<p>I think there is a difference with 2 roommates and 3 + 1. When there are just two girls, yes they need to make an effort to get along, or at least coexist. When you have 3 girls that are already friends like in my friend"s daughter’s case, it is harder to be odd man out; but not impossible. I think a black girl might be uncomfortable in a room of 3 white girls also, until she got to know them. I think this is why colleges usually do not allow room changes until a set amount of time to give all a chance to get to know each other.</p>
<p>My freshman year of college - nearly 34 years ago - my randomly assigned roommate was black. I am white. Part way throught the semester, my roommate (I thought we got along well) requested and was granted a room change. She moved to room with another black girl. </p>
<p>She told terrible lies about me to get her request, which I only learned about much later. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I’m guessing now that race was not considered a good reason to switch, so she had to create something. Unfortunately, she told everyone I was locking her out of the room so I could sleep with my boyfriend, which was untrue - and since I didn’t know about it, I couldn’t defend myself. It was a painful experience. In the end, I wished that the school would have been more willing to let her just say she was more comfortable with another black roommate.</p>
I remember several threads last year about kids arriving at schools to find that roomates were alredy present (for sports or something) and had taken over the entire room, all drawers and closets, leaving nothing for the newcomer. Who knows if the three were already present and spread out before the newcomer arrived. Or perhaps she was racist. No way to tell.</p>
<p>Unlimited opportunities for students to feel uncomfortable with roommates.
Freshman year, S was in a suite with 3 sophomores. They were music/theater people and S is computer geek. Didn’t click. S ended up spending many nights/weeks of first semester sleeping in friends’ rooms in another dorm. After Xmas break, S’s roommate asked S to move out because a friend of his had returned to the college, and roommate preferred to live with that friend. (S got the single room the returning student was offered–and became good friends with his ex-roommate after that. . .)</p>
<p>I agreed to go into a suite with 3 juniors (acquaintances) after returning from overseas my senior year. My roommate had financial problems and didn’t return in the fall, so a “continuing freshman” transfer student was put in her place. This girl was a drug abuser and not at all discreet about her sex life–disgusting. I stuck it out first semester–it was a nice dorm/great location–and planned to move after break. Then nasty roommate went part-time and only spent 2 nights a week in the dorm so I didn’t move after all. Suitemate’s roomie got married/moved out that semester, so that gave us even more space, worked out OK in the end–and I was glad I didn’t give up the great location.</p>
<p>Two college friends of mine who were assigned as roommates freshman year had an experience somewhat similar to that of doughmom: one room mate was white, the other was a black international student. The black friend very innocently took her white room mate along to the AA house one evening at the start of freshman year. It was made clear to them that it should <em>never</em> happen again. I don’t think that the black student was every really accepted by the AA community, either. Interestingly, even though they were very different in many ways beyond race, the two of them have remained friends for over thirty years–not the case for many other, more similar, roommate pairs I knew.</p>
<p>Regarding the OP’s story: the fact that she moved after only 2 days is what bothers me. Unless the others actually TOLD her they wanted her out, which I can’t quite imagine.</p>
<p>I guess the way this thread has gone I have two directly relevant personal experiences:</p>
<p>(1) One of the four people in my freshman suite was black. We all got along reasonably well, with a few bumps and bruises. If there was an odd person out, it tended to be the incredibly arrogant pre-med, not the African-American. Nevertheless, as the year ended he applied to change residential colleges. He would have been one of only five blacks living in our college the next year, and he wanted to be in a college that had more of a critical mass. He was pretty conflicted about it, and there were lots of long conversations, etc. No one gave him any crap about his decision, and he didn’t have to lie about anyone.</p>
<p>(2) My senior room was effectively a block of 8 people, all of whom had lived in the same entryway freshman year, and several of whom had roomed together continuously or periodically since then. Plus there were several best-friend pairings in the group that did not duplicate the rooming pairs. Just before the year began, one of us decided to take a year off, and a sophomore transfer was placed in our group. He was completely different from everyone else in the group (the only Catholic, the only varsity athlete, the only working-class family, by far the most laid-back). Until now, it never even occurred to me that he had anything to complain about. He got a MUCH nicer room than he would have been entitled to otherwise, and we all went out of our way to make him feel welcome and comfortable.</p>
<p>Like many here, I could say “if this was true, then I’d say…”
But that is adding my own “if this” to the story.
I don’t feel I could intelligently answer what I think of the student based on the limited info presented by the Op.
In this case, I’d think based on what has been presented it would be wrong of me to side with the student and equally wrong to side against the student.</p>
<p>There have been a lot of good posts on this thread.</p>
<p>I saw a similar situation when I was in school. The housing situation was an apartment with four people, three were of another race, the fourth was white who happened to be a friend of mine. My friend moved out at the semester break. There were no hard feelings on anyone’s part, he just wanted to be in a different situation. Noone was mad or had their feelings hurt and the new rooming situation worked better for everyone.</p>
<p>To the original poster, for whatever reason the new white roommate wasn’t happy in the situation. I think it probably has more to do with the three black roommates already being friends and her feeling excluded. She could have forced herself to stay but maybe the move will be better for everyone. If she has something in common with any of the original three roommates then there is nothing stopping them from being friends.</p>
<p>It is perfectly within a student’s rights to request a roommate change and is unreasonable for anyone on the outside looking in to make judgment. Shame on all who insist on making this a race issue. D’s first roommate freshman year happened to be black. To say that they were from entirely different cultures would be quite an understatement. D felt much better when she was reassigned many months later to someone who had similar values to her own.</p>
<p>I believe my RA’s room is actually this way with three African-American girls and one White girl. However, I think they chose each other as roommates. There is nothing saying that the situation couldn’t work out and I would have preferred the friend to at least try things out for awhile. As for putting students in a theme house that they didn’t request to be in, I don’t like that. If anything, there should be a rule that X number of students must sign up for that theme house for it to be operating that school year. For example, I’d be annoyed to be assigned to a German language house since I don’t speak German and didn’t request to live there.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my friend’s D, who is white & suburban, was put in a room with three inner city black girls who were all friends. They actually had a fourth roommate lined up, but she decided not to come at the last minute. The girls had hoped to have a room to themselves (no 4th). Friend’s D had trouble from the minute she arrived due to the others not wanting her. She figured it was because they were disappointed that they had to share. She wasn’t a part of their group, but it didn’t bother her. She was surprised, though, when one of the girls requested a transfer … and told her that it was because she didn’t want to room with a white girl. The other girls didn’t seem to care about race - that was never the issue for them - it was just the 4th wheel thing that was the issue. Racism exists, and it runs across the races. My coworker, who is black, got a lot of flack from her friends about having a white roommate. She said her roommate got flack from white kids, too, about having a black roommate. It was a random match, but neither she nor her roommate had any problem with it. On the other hand, my D is white & her roommate is black … they chose to room together the year after they met & are on year 2 as roommates. Race doesn’t enter into the picture at all for them, and no one else has brought it up.</p>
<p>There may be underlying reasons for the OP’s switch situation. We’ll probably never know. I’d like to hope it’s not race, but I’m also not naive.</p>