<p>A few friends and I were talking about college roommates today. One brought up the fact that a (white) friend of her daughter’s had just tranferred to a new university and had been assigned three African-American roommates. She was very uncomfortable with the situation, and requested a transfer to another room, which she was given.</p>
<p>I was completely disgusted to hear this, but was even more disturbed by the fact that a few of the women I was with felt like this was perfectly reasonable.</p>
<p>If she requested the transfer because they were African-Americans and that very fact is what made her uncomfortable? Yes, I think it was wrong. If she reasonably and genuinely felt she was being excluded or ostracized? Maybe that’s different. I don’t know enough about the particular situation to form an opinion.</p>
<p>Assuming the only reason she transferred was because of the race of the roommates then I agree - it’s closed-minded and wrong. I’m a little surprised she was allowed by the college to transfer so readily without a good reason and even then some colleges make the students wait a while to transfer rather than making instant decisions.</p>
<p>This could have turned out to be an interesting and learning experience for the D if she’d have stuck around. I hope there was more to the story than the decision being based on race.</p>
<p>On the one hand, putting myself in her shoes, I can imagine feeling awkward and like the odd (wo)man out even if the other roommates are not trying to exclude her. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be about race per se from her point of view, so much as being on the outside of something fairly major that the other roommates all have in common.</p>
<p>On the other hand, two days? Jeez.</p>
<p>Has anybody read Jane Smiley’s Moo? Very funny novel about a state university. One of the subplots is the story of four female roommates in the opposite situation (3 white 1 black). Smiley does a nice job of conveying some of the tensions and rewards of that experience.</p>
<p>There could have been other “lifestyle” issues involved. We don’t know exactly why the girl felt uncomfortable. The school was willing to transfer her, so I wouldn’t make any judgments about it.</p>
<p>Given the relatively small percentage of African-American students at most universities other than HBCUs, it’s hard to believe that this situation happened entirely randomly. I wonder whether the three African American girls were friends who asked to room together but ended up being assigned to a quad room or suite with a stranger rather than a triple by themselves. Anyone, regardless of race, could find themselves feeling uncomfortable in such a situation.</p>
<p>I should add, in response to a post that apparently has been deleted, that I totally agree that this is a situation that minority students have been dealing with since forever, and therefore white students need to be able to deal with it too. I’m just saying that feeling awkward in a such a situation seems natural enough and that we shouldn’t assume the worst about the young woman’s racial attitudes because of it.</p>
<p>On the surface this seems bad, but we don’t know if there was more to the story. Was this a group of 3 girls that had chosen to live together, and had a 4th girl randomly stuck in with them? If so, the 4th girls might have felt awkward or been excluded regardless of the race of any/all of the girls. OTOH, if the girl just immediately decided to transfer for racial reasons, that’s not a good decision IMHO.</p>
<p>My cousin’s D was placed into a forced triple her freshman year. Her two roommates were big partiers who had chosen to live together. Their earliest classes were at 10 or 11, while my cousin’s D had earlier classes. They would come in late and loud and wake her up. She moved to an off-campus apartment with a friend after one semester. The two original roommates were a different race from her, but I don’t think that’s why she moved - she moved because she couldn’t sleep, and she led a much more conservative lifestyle than they did.</p>
<p>So I can’t judge this girl without hearing the whole story. But 2 days is pretty fast to move.</p>
<p>Sorry, but I can’t place the burden of racial integration on one randomly selected white transfer student. Sure it would be nice if she stayed and they all became like sisters and lived happily ever after, but if she felt uncomfortable and wanted to be reassigned I am not going to crucify her.</p>
<p>A friend of mine, white, Jewish, was assigned to his university’s African-American theme house as a freshman. He was one of about 5 non-African-American kids in the dorm. His entering class was over-subscribed, the house was under-subscribed, and he came up nearly last in the lottery. I (and he) would love to say he had a great experience and made tons of close friends, but that didn’t happen. He stuck it out for the year, and things were fine afterward.</p>
<p>“On the one hand, putting myself in her shoes, I can imagine feeling awkward and like the odd (wo)man out even if the other roommates are not trying to exclude her. It wouldn’t necessarily have to be about race per se from her point of view, so much as being on the outside of something fairly major that the other roommates all have in common.”</p>
<p>? It’s pretty typical for black students at mainstream colleges to be assigned white roommates. Should a black student ask for a room assignment within days of getting 3 white roommates?</p>
<p>It surprises me that so many people seem to think the white girl was justified in wanting to move out just because her roommates were black. Yet, I’ve seen many people on CC criticize students of color who are seen dining at the same table as people of color. Those same students might be the only people of color in their suites.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, there tend to be lots of tables filled with only white students, and no one seems to pay any mind to that…</p>
<p>“I’m just saying that feeling awkward in a such a situation seems natural enough and that we shouldn’t assume the worst about the young woman’s racial attitudes because of it.”</p>
<p>I can understand her feeling awkward. What I don’t understand is her requesting and being granted such a quick move.</p>
<p>A big part of the college experience is learning how to rise to new situations, including new situations involving being around people who differ from those one has previously been in close contact with.</p>
<p>If it was just because they were black, it’s wrong. End of story. </p>
<p>At my U, we’re not even allowed to make a request for 2 full weeks after moving in (it might be 3) and we have to have an actual reason (and we have to have our RA try to work it out for ~ a full week before we can actually file a request to move).</p>
<p>I think OP and some others are being a bit judgmental without knowing the whole story. This was striking to me because I was in the exact same situation some 20 years ago. I came into from a pretty colorblind perspective and I didn’t think it was a big deal. But it turned out to be, because, as one poster noted, it wasn’t random. My roommates had requested black roommates (so NSM you really can’t reverse the situation because I doubt - and hope - white kids aren’t allowed to request white roommates). Not only that they requested to be near the African-American program house, which was the center of their social life. I had no problem with their choices, and I may have made the same choice if I were about to be a minority on a far away campus. I actually liked them all a lot. </p>
<p>As they were my friends on campus I joined them in many of these activities, but I soon learned I wasn’t always welcome by the larger community. I could live with that, but I realized what a horrible position this was putting my roommates in. They were often forced to choose between me and “the group.” They tried really hard to be loyal. I could see they didn’t need that and neither did I. I moved out after a semester, and there was no question it was the best thing for everyone. There was no resistance from the administration, which it seems, just goofed, and they put a black student in my place in the quad. I stayed close friends with one of my roommates and remember them all fondly.</p>
<p>The main point is that you can’t conclude this girl is racist just because she wants to move. Depending on the campus, it probably isn’t a random group, and even if all of them may want to make it work, the campus climate might just make it really difficult (because it isn’t unusual for black excluding whites to be condoned or even encouraged). Now if it was 2 and 2 or something like that, that would probably be different. But really you can’t judge something you don’t know about.</p>
<p>Since there are African American theme houses and program houses, many schools allow you to make requests based on program interests. I’m not sure what’s going on now, but I think it was just a request based on race, because the school wanted to be accommodating to minority students. They felt it important to have a strong AA community. I think things on progressive campuses were a bit more separatist then than now, but I haven’t been on many campuses lately. Alas, things aren’t always as simple as the most self-righteous would like to believe.</p>
<p>" My roommates had requested black roommates (so NSM you really can’t reverse the situation because I doubt - and hope - white kids aren’t allowed to request white roommates)."</p>
<p>Students can request whomever and whatever they want in a rooming situation. It’s up to the college to determine whether their requests are appropriate.</p>