Do your kids really miss home when they leave for college?

<p>My parents always tell me that I will miss the foods that they make (the ones I don't like) and that I will be homesick quite often. Is this true? Do most kids who go off to college get very homesick and miss the foods they hate the most? </p>

<p>I love my parents, but I want to be more independent. I will miss my parents, but not THAT much because I think it will be so fun to be alone and start to life pretty much by myself. Is it very hard to get accostomed to college life, when you have to do everything all by yourself, and no parents are there to baby you around?</p>

<p>I don't know about missing the food you hate...but, definitely those that you like and can't get near college! D has a whole list of eateries she plans to take in during Xmas break before returning to college.</p>

<p>Have you been away from home for an extended period of time...say, 4 weeks? That should give you a taste of being away. Yes, you will probably miss the family...but that is easily resolved through phone calls or emails. It's amazing how "close" you still are. And, it WILL be fun...you are totally accountable for yourself...good for you and your parents!</p>

<p>I guess references to being homesick implies that they will miss you...and that's OK.</p>

<p>I don't know about "most" kids. I have seen no evidence that my daughter has missed home. She was happy to see us when she did come home. She did enjoy having a couple of her favorite meals. But, she loves college so much that I don't think she's had much time to miss home.</p>

<p>Everybody is different.</p>

<p>My daughter absolutely loves her school and the only 2 things she misses is her dog and home cooking. (I am really skeptical about the home cooking and really leaning toward she doesn't like walking to one of the dining facilities in the cold in addition to being cheap). Like ID's D she will be happy to come home but will be equally happy go go back. I miss her way more than I think she misses being home.</p>

<p>She said when she comes home can if I make her some food to take back that can be frozen and microwaved. She called me with her great revelation that cereal cost $5 and her favorite cereal is Kixx, something that I have ever purchased in her life.</p>

<p>My older sister visited an awful lot last year (her freshman year), this year, she's a lot more indepedant, I'm guessing she finally likes her freedom now</p>

<p>My daughter (first-year student) absolutely loves her school. The only time she expressed homesickness was <em>after</em> we went out there for parents' weekend! Out of sight, out of mind, I suppose....</p>

<p>College is an adjustment for all kids. It's supposed to be. I'd say the thing my daughter misses the most is the lack of opportunities to find solitude -- and she's an extroverted person! But is she homesick in general? No. She's too busy studying, socializing, and getting involved in activities on campus. And based on your post, I don't think you will be horribly homesick, either. Sounds like you're ready for the adventure.</p>

<p>They do miss the food, and they are happy to see us. But they are always happy to go back to their schools.</p>

<p>As InterestedDad posted, all kids are different in this respect. Speaking for my own daughter, she is not homesick whatsoever, never has been. She was ready for the adventure and is loving it and bubbles over with excitement on every call to tell us so. She has never been one to get homesick. She has gone away from home for over seven summers and this was never an issue. While she is not homesick, she does like to stay in touch and calls home every few days to tell us what is going on in her life at college. </p>

<p>I suppose if you asked her if she missed the food at home, she would probably say, sure, I miss such and such foods but the food here is just fine. She also goes out to eat sometimes. I know when her grandparents went to visit her at college, she told me she just had to order steak at the restaurant because she does not get that sort of food at a cafeteria. While she might prefer my food to the cafeteria food (most kids would), it is not like she minds it or even mentions it. She is having too much fun. She can buy some things she likes at the store and also goes out to eat with new friends too. </p>

<p>My daughter has not been home in the ten weeks since college started and will likely only come home for holidays/vacations (though only gets a short one at XMas as her team goes away for a few weeks to train). However, she is traveling home today, arriving late tonight because she is coming to see her sister in a theater production in our state and does not want to miss it. Actually all her grandparents are also coming in from out of state too. She won't be here very long but I can't wait to see her. It feels weird going into her room when she is never there but tonight she is sleeping in it! The only thing is, she won't be having any home cooked meals as she is only here for one dinner and we will be out in the city where my other D's show is, and eating out to celebrate my husband's fiftieth between the matinee and evening shows. So, she will have to wait a while for home cooking. However, she won't be complainin'. </p>

<p>I agree with WJB in that the OP sounds READY for this new adventure and independence too!</p>

<p>Never been homesick. I couldn't wait to leave home, I hated the people in my high school, and quite frankly, my relationship with my parents is actually a lot better now that we're in different states. I probably talk to them more frequently on the phone than I did when we were in the same house... I love the independence I have and, for the most part, the classes I'm taking.</p>

<p>I think Archermom asked the right question about if you have spent an extended period away from home and enjoyed it. My daughter (soph in college) misses my cooking and my credit card when she shops but I don't think she's been homesick. OTOH, I know most of her friends had never been away from their families for more then a week and a few of them did get homesick. One of them is at a college 5 hours away on full (merit) scholarship and had a really rough first semester. She missed her good friends and her younger sisters. Because she was without a car in a fairly rural area, it just wasn't feasible for her parents to go see her or for her to come home until Thanksgiving and because of the scholarship, she knew didn't put much hope in transferring. The other friends that did get homesick were just a couple of hours from home so it worked for them to get home just for a weekend a couple of times before their break time. </p>

<p>I don't think it's unusual to get homesick even if you like your college. It wasn't our intention at the time but I think my kids going away to camp every summer was an excellent way for them to see how they felt about being without us for a couple of weeks. My youngest son (6th grade) went to boy scout camp for the first time this summer. A friend of his really missed his Mom and cried on the phone for her to come up and just visit. My son was perplexed and said somthing like, " I don't get what the big deal is. It's not like he'll never see her again. They're just home." I really felt better knowing that he could survive without me and I know he felt pretty good about that too. The funny thing was my son told me afterwards that he didn't really like boy scout camp and didn't want to go again while his friend said he had a great time!</p>

<p>I like my school a lot, but I also like to come home every month and get a haircut.</p>

<p>Kathie, just like you, while it was not my intention at the time, I do think the fact that my kids have gone away every summer to camps and all is a form of preparing to separate when it comes to college. For them, college was not the first time away from home but the first time being gone longer than six weeks, as well as greater independence than supervised summer programs. When I grew up, I went to overnight camp for 8 weeks for ten summers. When I went to college and did not know a soul (just like my D now), I was not phased or homesick. I always kept in touch like she does though. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

<p>I was the queen of homesickness. In my junior year of high school I transferred to a boarding school for my last two years and I cried about every day for a month. Then, I got over it and loved my school and my friends. I thought that that boarding school experience would completely eliminate homesickness in college but even I, used to living away from home for two years, had about a week at the beginning of my freshman year where I felt teary and homesick. </p>

<p>If you ARE homesick, it is one of those things that you just get over, I think, with time. I HAVE heard of kids being homesick but it never seems to last too long. However, it's hard to predict in advance whether you will or will not be--you might think you were the most independent person in the world, and be stunned by the ache you feel once you have left. In fact, I think it might sometimes be that those least expecting it, get it. But again, I don't think it is a permanent or long-lasting issue.</p>

<p>My son misses my cooking and the dogs, not much else. He calls his school home now!</p>

<p>Sometimes I think that on those rare occasions that my S felt "homesick" what was really going on was that he was tired and up to his eyeballs in homework. His homesickness usually was miraculously cured once he'd completed that monster pile of work and gotten some sleep.</p>

<p>My daughter does miss my cooking. (After eating in the dining hall in her house, I can see why!) She loves her college and isn't homesick. Going way back, I wasn't homesick my first semester of college but it hit hard second semester during those dreary winter days.</p>

<p>My daughter was away for 3 weeks last summer. She never wrote, but she called more often than I thought she would. I never did figure out for sure whether she was homesick or whether she just wanted to talk to me or, for that matter, was just being nice and knew I would want to hear from her. Except for the first day, when she was alone in her building before the other kids showed up, she was just spilling over with new and interesting things to report. So I think she wasn't homesick (as she never was before, at camp etc.) but just wanted to keep the conversations going.</p>

<p>Summer before her junior yr, D attended a summer program back east. The first week we received about 3 phone calls and those inquiring emails---"So...where IS everyone?!" After that, the middle of week #2...we hardly heard a peep!!! I believe that transition and experience opened up a whole new perspective on college choices. Now she is in PA...loving the experience and her new friends. She was already missing them the first day of fall break!!!</p>

<p>My kids missed the dog. :)</p>

<p>One fundamental change between today and the time when we (parents of college-age kids) were in school is the explosion in communications options. When I was in college, I normally called home once a week - long distance wasn't cheap, and I had to walk down the hall to use the pay phone shared with a couple of dozen other people.</p>

<p>Today, email, instant messaging, and cell phones can keep you much closer. Most cell plans include long distance, and email/IM are free. These services are available continuously, too - cell phones can be used while walking across campus, and IM is always on when using the computer. For kids (and parents) who want to stay in touch, it's vastly easier.</p>