<p>“Why not just raise our own kids to be as strong as we can and let others do their own thing? If parents are continually pointing out the “unfairness” of teachers giving certain kids more attention …what is the message we are giving them?”</p>
<p>We are giving them the message that (1) teaching is a profession, & that there are standards & proper roles for that profession, & that they should be able to expect a certain level of performance for that, (2) that boundaries are important in life, as they relate to jobs and to personal relationships, (3) that the place to expect personal – as opposed to professional – “love” is among one’s personal relationships, not from one’s doctor, professor, teacher, etc., (4) that as <em>students</em>, they are entitled to the same quality & quantity of attention from their classroom teacher as anybody else in the class is entitled to, regardless of the level of their achievement & capability. If they perform with consistent excellence & an <em>apparent</em> absence of “need,” they are to be encouraged & challenged even more. (Every student “needs”; it’s merely that what & how they need is the variation.)</p>
<p>Further, the social work/parental role alluded to by an above poster (ebeeee) is a choice others can make by way of community service. Again, there are proper roles for these functions in society in general, and schools in particular. If the teacher feels so strongly about “protecting” or caring for a particular student, & that follow-up is something of a personal (non-academic) nature, such as clothing, the more fitting thing would be to hand that task over to volunteers in the school.</p>
<p>I also take your point, Renee, as to the thrust of the OP’s question. Yes, I also think that perhaps the reference is to dependency, but again, I merely re-emphasize that the professional response to a “non-needy” student is nevertheless to educate. That student has not dispensed with the “need” for teachers; it’s just what is needed & how it is needed, which is the job of the teacher to discover, & as quickly as possible.</p>